an OC girl living in an extraordinary world

what a long strange trip i've been on...

2011-03-20T03:17:00.000+01:00

I've gone back to school. I have decided that my program (aka my baby) is far more successful than I could've ever imagined. The data is incredible--over 75% of program participants are still sober at 6 month follow up. That's amazing. I'm so proud of my baby.

Since I last blogged, my program has been recognized as a top performer by the federal government, I was invited to speak about my program at a national conference, and we've been awarded enough funding to keep the program going for another 5 years. I have been very, very fortunate.

I have accomplished much more with this program than I ever thought I would in my lifetime. Now I'm itching for a new challenge. So what next? Well, I was thinking about all the times I mentioned therapy on this blog. I realized that while I don't have any clinical training, my amateur therapist diagnoses at work can be pretty accurate. And I recognized that for some strange reason, people find it easy to open up to me. I think Fate is trying to tell me that I should become a therapist.

I am now a graduate student at USC's School of Work (yes, I'm back at my alma mater and, yes, I'm taking these classes online). I thought I would share with you my admissions essay. When a friend proofread it, her first comment was, "This reads like a blog post." I guess I'll just make it one.

I just didn’t know what to say.

He was sitting there across from me, his face buried into his hands. “I thought for sure that test would come out positive,” he said to me in Spanish. “I deserve it.”

Nelson was referred to me by one of the HIV testing counselors. He was sent to me because of his primary HIV risk behavior—alcohol and drug abuse. I am the creator and current program manager of (name redacted), the outpatient substance abuse treatment program for formerly incarcerated Latinos at (name redacted). I see many addicts in my line of work. But none of them wanted to be HIV positive until now.

Why would anyone think they deserve to get infected with HIV? I asked him, “Why do you feel that way?”

He lifted his face up from his hands, but didn’t lift his eyes to meet mine. “Because I’m attracted to men. Because my God says this is wrong. I am a sinner! I deserve to be punished.”

I took a deep breath. It was as if my cousin was there in the room with me.

My cousin Pedro lived in a rural part of Mexico in the state of Veracruz. We were estranged for much of my childhood although we kept in touch over the phone. However, we didn’t meet until we were adults. Pedrito had not come out to his family but in private he came out to me. He figured his liberal, American cousin would understand him in ways that our traditional, Catholic family would not. My cousin also revealed to me that he was HIV positive.

I was well-versed in HIV, AIDS, and the history of the epidemic. Yet none of that prepared me for my cousin’s news. With my heart beating rapidly, I embraced my cousin and pledged him my undying support. And then he asked me to keep it all a secret.

Although my cousin wanted to keep his sexuality and HIV status a secret, I regret now not encouraging him more to talk about this with our family. As the years passed by, he refused to seek treatment for HIV because he did not want anyone in the family to know that he was gay and sick. He was devoutly Catholic and, from talking to him about this, I realized that he harbored some self-hatred. My cousin was taught to believe that his sexuality was not normal, that it was not of God. From his point of view, it was in his nature to sin against God every time he was attracted to a man. For him, HIV was his penance for this grave sin—a suffering he was willing to endure for God’s absolution.

One beautiful evening, my mother called me from across the country. Her words were still difficult to take in. “I’m sorry, baby, but Pedrito passed away from pneumonia,” my mom said. I cried, but not because I was sad. I cried tears of rage and frustration—anger at a society that forced my cousin to pretend to be someone else and frustration that I did not do more to help him come out and seek help.

I was still in the anger stage of my grief when I met Nelson. As Nelson spoke it was as if my cousin was speaking to me. I saw too much of my cousin in Nelson.

I moved my chair closer to Nelson and took his hands in mine. “Nelson,” I said calmly, “the God I know loves you very much and is very sad that this is what you have decided to do with the life He gave you. Still, I’m glad He brought you here because I know that He wants me to help you if you let me.” Nelson looked up at me and when his eyes met mine I saw hope.

The next five months went by in a blur. Nelson enrolled in treatment, where we provided him with individual counseling and group counseling. The program was lacking a case manager so I filled that role for Nelson, aiding him in creating a plan for his life, setting goals that he was determined to achieve. I found him a new church, a Universalist Unitarian Church that showed Nelson that God truly loves us all regardless of sexuality. I connected him to a job training program so that he could one day apply to be a construction manager. By the time he graduated, Nelson had celebrated 150 days of sobriety.

Two years later, Nelson is still sober, still working, and still going to church. He takes his challenges one day at a time. And when he needs extra support, he knows where to go.

These days I see my cousin everywhere—in the fragile woman who drinks to ease the pain of her husband’s punches, in the undocumented immigrant who became a homeless drug addict because he did not realize his American dream, in the closeted man who drinks to erase the shame of his sexuality. Pedrito is everywhere in everyone and I help them all the same. I may not have saved my cousin, but he has enabled me to save others. This is where my passion lies—helping the hopeless find their hope and empowering them to change their lives.

Wherever he is, I know that Pedrito is proud of me and the work that I do. I know I am.

my most embarassing airport security check ever

2010-06-07T17:08:00.000+01:00

I escaped. A few weeks ago, as my job was starting to get super stressful again, I flew out to Denver to meet up with the BF who was there for work. I had looked forward to the trip for many reasons—including sleep, becoming one with nature, visiting my friend in Vail, escaping my workaholism, and lots of sexy time with the BF.

I had no problem packing sexy time supplies with me that cleared the airport security check at National. I put all my toiletries in the right size baggie, took out my netbook, took off my shoes, put my weekend bag on the conveyer belt, and there I went—all clear for this well-prepared traveler.

To make a long story short, I accomplished my many goals for the trip—becoming one with nature rocks—but by the end of the long weekend, I was ready to go home. As I was packing my stuff, I didn’t have enough room for all of my sexy time supplies, so one of them had to be concealed in the carry-on bag because there was no room in my baggie.

For some reason, the airport was hopping early on a Sunday morning. I did my usual routine at the security check and passed through without a problem. Well, I physically passed through. As well as my netbook and shoes. My bag was a different story.

I watched as the 2 TSA ‘officers’ (is that the official title?) reversed the conveyor belt so they could take another look at my bag. Apparently, something didn’t look right. And I was holding up the security check line. Suddenly, the conveyor belt jerked forward and one of the officers opened my bag and began to search. He went into one of the innermost pockets in my bag and pulled out (for the line behind me to see)…

My LUBE!

Thankfully it wasn’t like Astroglide or one of those brands whose logo is loud and proud. But still. I felt my face flush pink. And the airport suddenly got incredibly hot and stuffy.

I wasn’t the only one blushing. So was the TSA guy (who couldn’t be more than 25 years old) as he took a long look at the bottle. He handed it to me saying, “Yeah, next time, if this doesn’t fit in your plastic bag, you can put your…uh…lotion…uh…in the bowl with your iPod and stuff.”

Uh…yeah…lotion. That’s what it was.

tax day 2010: i'll gladly pay for civilization

2010-04-15T20:20:00.000+01:00

As you know, today is Tax Day and generally that means some kind of protest. DC is all about the "taxation without representation" protests which I totally support. While I'm sure those protests are still going on, they are overshadowed today by the only real Amurrican tax day protest--The Tea Party Protest.

Thankfully, I no longer live on the Hill (and OMG, I really dreaded the anniversary of Roe v. Wade because of the swarms of teeny boppers telling me what do with my body). Since I work in a non-touristy part of town, I will probably get to avoid them all together (unless they are on the Metro, in which case I may be tempted to ~~punch~~ educate a tea bagger).

I don't know about you but I'm pretty happy about my taxes this year. Don't get me wrong. I've never really begrudged Uncle Sam. I will gladly pay for public schools, road maintenance, and law enforcement (among other things). However, this year I am actually getting a nice return...for the first time in a long time. And for that, I am very grateful to our president.

I hope Uncle Sam was good to you as well.

drive by guilt trip

2010-04-12T13:37:00.000+01:00

I'm hosting a big event for my program this week and I've been crazy-busy lately trying to get everything ready in time. This means long hours at work and no time for me. Last Thursday, another day that I stayed late at work, I was waiting for a bus at the Pentagon. Because it was way past rush hour, there weren't too many people waiting for a bus at that time. I was in the middle of texting the bf when a woman said something to me from a few feet away.

Me: I'm sorry but what did you say?

Lady: I asked you if you just got off from work.

Me: Yes, I did.

Lady: You're so lucky. Must be nice to have a job to get off from.

Me: ????

I was the victim of a drive by guilt trip. I had no idea who this woman was and had never seen her before but the last thing I expected to be subject to while waiting for the bus is a guilt trip by a complete stranger.

What she doesn't know is that a key component of my program is case management and my case managers have done an excellent job in finding jobs and job training for the participants that are unemployed.

What she doesn't know is that I am completely aware of how lucky I am to have a job. I honestly do think about this every day. I realize that unemployment is high and I'm certainly fortunate to have a job in this economy. I'm lucky because I have the capacity in this job to help people who need it. I'm especially lucky because I love what I do.

Upon realizing this, I decided to just go about my business.

Guilt trip over.

reconciling god and science

2010-03-17T16:07:00.000+01:00

This weekend I made my usual run to Target for 'necesities' (as much as one 'needs' Sun Chips and Drano). I'm getting into the habit of bringing my reusable shopping bags every time I go thanks to the bag fee in DC (I go to the Target in DC a lot and I got tired of that fee really quick). I brought just enough bags with me to carry what I needed to buy.

And then I saw that all Vitamin Waters were $1. I'm addicted to that stuff so I stocked up of course.

When I got to the check out lane, I noticed that I didn't have enough shopping bags for all the Vitamin Waters plus my necessities. Still, I handed the cashier my bags and she went to town bagging my stuff. Somehow, she was able to fit everything in 3 bags. I'm not going to go into detail about these 'necesities' I had purchased so you'll just have to believe me when I say that I really didn't think it was humanly possible to pack all that stuff in 3 bags. Impressed with her bagging skills, I complimented the cashier, "Wow you really know how to pack those things." She replied, "Well I haven't figured out if it's God or science." I thought about that dichotomy for a sec and replied, "Can't it be both?" Yeah, I wasn't talking about her bagging skills any more. She replied, "I don't think so." I don't think she was referring to her bagging skills either.

I encounter this idea a lot as a Christian and lover of science--the idea that God and science are working against each other. Having attended Catholic school my whole life, it wasn't that strange to me that my religion classes were often followed by my science classes. Heck, no one made a fuss when we learned about evolution. I never questioned all the knowledge that comes through scientific breakthroughs and research (well, until I got older and understood research methods a lot better). I've always assumed that God was the one that gifted scientists and researchers with the intelligence they possess and exercise in doing research. And I had no problem believing that God started the Big Bang.

But some Christians do--in fact, they have a big problem with science.

In fact, on a particular creationists website (I refuse to link to them, but if you really want to know, shoot me an email), the people behind the site claim that dinosaurs and humans were created by God ON THE SAME DAY. Not that there is any proof of that other than some bible verses from particular translations that referred to God creating 'beasts' (which I've always understood to mean 'large animals'). In fact, the only resource quoted as 'proof' on that site is the bible.

Why is it that some Christians are anti-science? Are they people who believe every single word of the bible (hope they don't wear cotton blends or eat shellfish)? Why do they feel so threatened or defensive when science disproves something contained in the bible? If everything is a part of God's plan, was it not God's plan to give researchers the intelligence to figure out these things? The bible is an ancient text that was written by many, many people and translated into many, many languages. Is it possible that some things got lost in translation? (I have a translating business on the side and, let me tell you, things definitely get lost in translation between English and Spanish and vice versa).

These are honest questions. I'm really trying to understand the other side here especially since I have had no problem reconciling Catholic teachings with science.

You know? I can't help feeling that some of this is political (oh lordy...that's a whole other blog post...).

happy national women and girls HIV/AIDS awareness day!

2010-03-10T17:43:00.001+01:00

Today is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. This is also about the time of year that I provide some updates on Microbicides. If you haven't heard of the term, microbicides are gels, foams, rings, or any thing that releases substances over time that provide protection against HIV infection. These would be particularly useful for women who are not able or empowered to negotiate condom use with their partner.

And I've been trying to build awareness of microbicides for a while now because I really feel that this is THE way for women to protect themselves from HIV, especially in the developing world. There is a lot of hope and research dollars riding on microbicide development especially because of the increasing rates of HIV among women everywhere. It seems that simply by being married you are at risk of infection.

Much of the new research out there is focusing on the use of pre-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) as a means to prevent HIV. This involves the use of AIDS treatment drugs (ARTs) as an HIV infection prevention technique. Studies in Africa are currently underway in sex workers. According to one of the leading HIV researchers in the world, this seems to be the new trend in HIV prevention.

In last month's Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections (yeah, I know you're sorry you missed it), Dr. John Moore (leading researcher mentioned above) discussed his on-going study on the use of the drug maraviroc (brand name: Selzentry) as a PEP. Maraviroc is a CCR5 inhibitor, a new class of drugs which is not currently being used in Africa. Because it is not being used in Africa, there is less risk of developing resistance (in clinical trial participants). Apparently, by grinding up the drug and applying it to lab monkeys, this prevented infection for up to 4 hours. Moore stated that the ideal use of this drug would be to create a vaginal ring that releases small amounts of Maraviroc at a time to prevent infection for longer periods of time.

Quick HIV lesson:
There are many strains of HIV. The virus itself evolves faster than any other virus in the world. It can quickly adapt to its environment and become resistant to treatment, particularly when treatment medications are not taken as often as they should be.

AIDS drugs work by preventing HIV replication. The replication involves various steps and certain AIDS drugs prevent/inhibit the steps in the process. This is why patients take many AIDS drugs--each drug they take inhibits a particular replication step, being attaching itself to the host cell or by preventing the replication of the virus' genetic material, etc.

image courtesy of The Lancet
HIV is the small spiky circle with the triangle inside

To be honest, there has been much disappointment in microbicide development over the years, with promising microbicides not making it past the human trial stage for various reasons. However, I really hope that Moore has found the formula. Only time will tell.

Unfortunately, women around the world do not have much time. God speed, microbicide developers!

There are National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day events happening today and tomorrow all over the place. To find an event near you, click here.

Most importantly, if you don't know your HIV status or you think you might've exposed yourself to HIV, please get tested! Every 35 minutes, a woman in the US tests positive for HIV. To find a place to get tested, click here. Tests are QUICK and CONFIDENTIAL.

/soapbox

dear gay marriage opponents, love wins, b*tches!

2010-03-04T15:25:00.000+01:00

Last night I was looking through a lot of online photo galleries with images from yesterday's big marriage equality day in DC. I'm not ashamed to admit I was fighting back tears...and I actually let a couple escape my tear ducts.

What love looks like:

What love doesn't look like:

Yup, the Westboro "Church" was there yesterday...all 4 of them.

This looks like a drunken mistake.

This looks like 2 D Listers trying to stay relevant.

This is Jennifer Lopez doing her best Elizabeth Taylor impression.

And their "love" couldn't overcome his fraud.

Yeah, these straight marriages sure were sacred!

I'm not really one to gloat about anything but...

happy marriage equality day, DC!!!

2010-03-03T14:59:00.000+01:00

Today, the city of DC will begin to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. One of my old bosses is going to apply for one today after having been with his partner for over 25 years. I couldn't be happier for them.

I don't think I truly grasped the magnitude of this law until yesterday. I was chatting with a very politically involved co-worker when I suddenly remembered March 3rd and it's significance. "Tomorrow is the big day!" I said. He replied, "I know! It's so exciting. I've been with my partner forever and we can finally start talking about marriage and having a family and...I've been so afraid that this wasn't going to happen that we didn't really talk about that stuff before. This changes everything"

A life-changing law? It truly is.

Congrats to all the gays applying for marriage licenses today and beyond!

images courtesy of icanhazcheeseburger.com

in "women are only as valuable as their uteri" news...

2010-02-25T14:38:00.000+01:00

Being the flaming liberal that I am, there are many reasons why I'm glad I don't live in Utah. And after this recent news, I hope women begin to flee the state in droves.

Utah has voted to criminalize miscarriages. Yes, you ~~heard~~ read me. Because a tragic end to a wanted pregnancy is not enough. Apparently, women who miscarry will now be subject to criminal prosecution.

The law:

* expands the definition of illegal (non-medically induced) abortion to include miscarriages

* removes immunity protections for women who have or seek illegal abortions

* assumes women are “guilty of criminal homicide of an unborn child” if a pregnancy ends after “intentional, knowing, or reckless” behavior.

Apparently, the law (which still needs the governor's signature) was created to punish women who undergo illegal abortions--in which a woman deliberately subjects herself to violence and whatnot to cause a miscarriage. Because the law is vaguely written, 'intentional, knowing, and reckless behavior' can pretty much mean anything as long as a prosecutor can reasonably define it. So this means that if a pregnant woman in an abusive relationship miscarries because her partner beat her up, the woman is now guilty of criminal homicide. If you're pregnant, forget to wear a seat belt, get into a car crash thereby causing a miscarriage, you're a murderer.

Nevermind the fact that 15-20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. I'm sure state prosecutors will find a way to bring charges against those women too.

Fortunately, the ACLU is on this. But just the fact that this issue is up for debate in a state legislature is demeaning to women. Seriously, how soon will The Handmaid's Tale become a non-fiction book?

an opportunity defended

2010-02-23T03:13:00.000+01:00

“Now I see my future clearly now. I was lost, and now I know what I want. I’m gonna start school again and make a better life for myself. Now I won’t have to worry about causing myself or my family pain. I can walk around with my head held up high and take it day by day. I wish there were more programs out there like the program [name redacted]. We need programs that show results, and I’m one of them. I’m a happier and healthier person as a result of this program.”*

He was just on his way to the clinic where the program activities are held. A good kid with a troubled past, he had been working hard on turning his life around in the past few months. He’s been sober for 90 days—and liking it. He felt so much better about everything—his health, his family, his future. He was even thinking of finally going to college and studying art or business. Heck! Why not both?

The sky’s the limit.

So when an unmarked vehicle pulled out of the alley and shined his lights on him, he didn’t think anything of it. That is until the cops came out to have a chat. What are you doing here? What’s your name? What’s your business in this neighborhood?

“Dude, I was just walking,” he would explain to me later. “I don’t know why they stopped me and they didn’t tell me. Damn.”

His case manager and I ran out to find these cops. I was livid. He seemed pretty shaken up. I’m very protective of the people in my program. You see, sobriety is a very delicate thing. People in recovery are ALWAYS in recovery for the rest of their lives. Anything can be a trigger to drink or use. And this kid was doing so well. The last thing he needed was to be stopped by cops for no reason. Yeah, a long time ago he was not so law abiding. But he paid for his crime and was working on improving his life now.

I ran into a cop in uniform who was definitely not one of the cops who stopped my client. I explained the situation to him and he smirked and said, “Yeah, I know who you’re talking about but they left.” Uh huh. I responded, “Look, this kid is a patient and he was coming to the clinic for services. The last thing I want is for cops to stop my law-abiding patients just a few feet from the clinic door. They shouldn’t feel afraid of coming here.”

He said, “Yeah, I get it. It’s just that the guy fit the description of this gang member we’re looking for.”

I replied, “Let me guess. Hispanic, 5’7”, mid to late 20s, dark short hair, baggy pants? If your pants weren’t cop uniform pants, I would say you fit the description too.”

I gave him my card and asked him to pass it along to his cop friends (no response, unfortunately). I get that they have a job to do and my brother’s a cop so I kget where they are coming from. They deal with criminals every day.

But where they see ‘gang member’, ‘crime’, and ‘punishment’, I see a cry for help, an opportunity, a second chance. I have a job to do too.

*actual client testimony from client in the post. used with permission.

this is me now

2010-02-21T21:49:00.000+01:00

I look at myself in the mirror and I barely recognize myself. Blood shot eyes due to an eye infection I've been battling since the holidays. 25 pounds lighter with a different body. At least the cat hair on my clothes is familiar.

It's been a long time since I posted and, really, no one reads this blog any more. And as trite as this sounds, the reason why I haven't blogged is because I've been so busy.

My job has taken over my life. I have NEVER before been so successful at anything and it turns out I kick ass at my job. And I love it.

What do I do? I launched an addiction treatment and HIV prevention program in 2009. Substance abuse and HIV risk go hand and hand so a program that addresses both seemed to make a lot of sense. Within a year, the program has become more successful than I could ever have hoped for. Drug use is down, HIV risk behavior is down, stability in housing and employment have gone up. It really is a dream come true.

But it's challenging.  The emotional investment takes its toll after a while.  And the program is in high demand. The program is currently at maximum capacity and I'm working on ways to expand and offer more services because I don't have the heart to turn anyone away.   And that takes some work and perseverence.

Despite the warnings from my friend Annie, my job has taken over my life. I've lost contact with friends. I only talk to my mom once a week (used to be every day).  And my 5+ year relationship has been...well...not the same. And while my professional life makes me very happy (yet tired), I am not satisfied with how the rest of my life is going.

So I'm back because I need an outlet. A change. I need to do something for me. I used to have fun blogging and even more fun making friends through the blog. Whatevs, I'm going to give this a shot and see where it takes me.

And if you're still reading this, maybe you'd like to join me on this journey.

my reaction to Virginia election results: meh

2009-11-04T15:53:00.000+01:00

First my Anaheim Angels lost the ALCS. Then my Hokies lost two games in a row. THEN my Trojans lost to Oregon in the most embarrassing game I've ever witnessed. By the time Creigh Deeds (D) lost the election for Virginia Governor my reaction was meh*.

Unlike the mass hysteria that infected conservatives when Obama was elected a year ago (OMG Virginia is now blue therefore a communist state, OMG we've just elected a Muslim terrorist, OMG we have a baby killer as president), I will gracefully admit defeat. The Dems lost fair and square. There's no conspiracy, no right wing effort to keep the poor from voting, no excuse.

Yesterday, I had to convince my boyfriend to vote. Why did he not want to vote? Well, he was sure Bob McDonnell (R and women-hater) would win. I was all ready to drag him to the polls, but fortunately I was able to convince him that Deeds was not the only Dem who needed our support. But it bothered me that he didn't really care.

Not that I blame him. I didn't feel very personally invested in Deeds' candidacy.

As much as I enjoy the voting process, the decision to vote for Deeds was--again--kinda meh. Deeds was not my pick in the primaries; Brian Moran was. I phone-banked for the guy because I really wanted him to win the nomination. Sure, he was a long shot, but I supported Moran out of principal--he was the only candidate of the three that vocally opposed the marriage amendment that defined marriage in VA as an arrangement only between a man and a woman. When Deeds came out of nowhere to win the primary, I was less than enthusiastic. However, as a loyal Dem, I knew I was going to vote for him (especially, considering the opposition).

I thought about volunteering for Deeds a couple of times but I wasn't really inspired by him to do anything. I've been hearing since the campaigning began that the VA and NJ governor's races would be an indication of the public's feelings about Obama thus far. I didn't so much as THINK about Obama whenever I thought of Deeds and I don't think Deeds loss has anything to do with the President. Deeds lost because he failed to connect with voters. He didn't connect with independents and he definitely didn't connect with the base. I visited a liberal VA blogger's open election day thread yesterday where everyone was posting whom they had voted for. I was SHOCKED by how many libs didn't even vote for governor. Sure, they voted for the other candidates but they left the governor slot blank. Wow. That's how disconnected we were.

Why the disconnect? Well, Deeds didn't always represent my interests. In the second debate, Deeds actually said he would consider "opting out" of any public option for health insurance, even though polls in Virginia showed that the majority of Democrats and Independents want a public option. Who was Deeds representing with that statement? The GOP? As the Dem candidate? It's statements like that (or the one where he told a reporter that he was going to do good in Richmond because people like him there) that caused a disconnect with the base.

Still, I voted for Deeds but my vote was not so much FOR HIM as it was AGAINST MCDONNELL. The man makes my feminist blood boil.

I hate to be selfish but I'm so grateful to live in the liberal enclave that is Arlington (sorry, rest of Virginia). It's going to be a long 4 years but I hope that McDonnell doesn't f*ck up the state too badly (if he is as great a governor as Schwarzenegger then Virginia is doomed).

Oh and good luck trying to widen 66 inside the beltway, McDonnell. It's a 10-year-old battle but I'll to be happy to join the protest against your initiative.

*Meh--"The verbal equivalent of a shrug of the shoulders." (definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary)

fun frisky felines: happy halloween edition

2009-11-01T03:15:00.000+01:00

Happy Halloween, peeps! Hope ya'll are having fun.

The kitties and I had our own fun.

Can't you just tell that they love halloween?

same ol' crap, different era

2009-09-15T22:24:00.000+01:00

Depression Era, people lined up for bread

source: nps.gov

2009, people lined up for free health care in L.A.

source: latimes.com

And for those of you who think only undocumented immigrants need health care (not sure how you can tell from that photo that the brown-skinned people aren't citizens)...

2009, people lined up for free health care in rural Virginia

source: prwatch.org

college football recap: the collision in columbus...and ann arbor...and stillwater...and...

2009-09-14T20:32:00.000+01:00

It's the return of the college football round up! Honestly, I was going to scratch this off the list of things to do on this blog and just tweet about the games all day on Saturday (which I still plan to do because it's fun...follow me!). But then this weekend was SO FULL OF AWESOMENESS that I just had to blog about it. Well, enough about me! The games were far more interesting...

The weekend got started with a close one in Atlanta where #15 Georgia Tech took on Clemson on Thursday. Georgia Tech took an early lead which was kinda reminiscent of the Battle of the Techs game a few years ago in Blacksburg which started with the Yellow Jackets scoring 4 straight TDs on my Hokies to begin the game. And then Clemson came back. Unfortunately, the Tigers comeback fell short at the end, but it was a great game. Kicker Scott Blair scored 3 field goals and had a touchdown pass! Quote of the game: "I actually don't remember catching the ball or throwing the ball too much. I guess it was dreamlike." (Blair commenting on his TD pass)

Once upon a time, some huge oil zillionaire decide to donate all the money he could to Oklahoma State so that they could finally win the college football mythical national championship. And then the #5 Cowboys of OSU played the Bulldogs of Georgia and they were dominating and proved that they deserve to be a contender. And then they hosted the Houston Cougars...and were completely shocked. Houston played their hearts out on the field, capitalizing on OSU turnovers and sealing the victory by converting an interception into a TD in the final 3 minutes of the game. Everyone loves an upset, but I can't help but feel bad for OSU because...well, as a USC alum, I've been there. But kudos to Houston for a game well played. Quote of the game: "For us as a program, this is a big win because it legitimizes our university. It legitimizes our program." (2nd year head coach Kevin Sumlin of Houston)

Early on Saturday, #14 Virginia Tech took on Marshall's Thundering Herd in a cake walk of a game. Of course, the Hokies beat Marshall 52-10, but that's not important. Last week, when the Hokies took on Alabama, the offense was seriously lacking in that game, and I don't mean points. I mean yardage, complete passes or lack thereof, running the ball, all that good stuff. On Saturday, two tailbacks proved that the Hokie offense is still alive. Freshmen David Wilson and Ryan Williams (yes, Freshman, which bodes well for the future of the offense) ran all over the place, amassing a good chunk of the Hokies 600+ yards of offense and combined for 4 TDs. Quote of the game: "I think we really needed this. I know we needed this." (VT Coach Frank Beamer after the game...Frank, what you really need is a new OC)

You know that few things (my kitties, the boyfriend, convincing at-risk youth to use condoms) make me happier than a Notre Dame loss. After hearing Lou Holtz proclaim at the beginning of the season that Notre Lame was going to make it to the mythical national championship (MNC), I did the usual rolling of the eyes, followed by the statement, "No effing way." Basically there are too many better teams out there that Lou Holtz likes to pretend don't exist when he makes these statements(besides USC). Anyway, at least for one day, Lou Holtz had to recognize Michigan. Coming off a 3-win season, Michigan had a lot to prove and a win against #18 Notre Lame would certainly help their cause. Both teams traded scoring opportunities for most of the game and with 5 minutes remaining, Notre Lame looked like it was going to win by a hair. Instead Michigan Freshman QB Tate Forcier began a drive that led to a Wolverine TD in the final SECONDS of the game. If you look at the stats, both the Irish and the Wolverines had similar numbers in yardage, turnovers, etc. But it was Michigan who scored last... Quote of the game: "This is a very disappointing, disheartening loss." (Notre Lame coach Charlie Weis)

And the award for "Over-hyped Game that Actually Lived Up to the Hype" goes to the USC/Ohio State game. On Saturday, #3 USC went to the uber-scary Horseshoe to play the Buckeyes of #8 Ohio State. Last year, my Trojans embarrassed the Buckeyes in L.A. and they were looking for revenge. Ohio State has gained a reputation for choking in big games, so they had something to prove. USC has a true Freshman starting at QB who has never played a college game outside of L.A. Matt Barkley, the aforementioned QB, was pretty lackluster for most of the game. Had the Trojan defense not been so awesome, USC would've kissed any hopes for an MNC goodbye. However, in a moment of brilliance in epic proportions, in the final minutes of the game, Barkley and Joe "No More Fumbles" McKnight led an 80+ yard drive to the endzone which culminated in a short pass to Stafon Johnson (also really awesome) for the game winning touchdown. The drive was incredible and seriously shocking because for most of the game Barkley looked nothing like the QB who ended the game. But a win is a win and USC is now 7-0 against Ohio State. Quote of the game: "We're Trojans. That's what we do. This is what we dreamed of, coming back like this." (USC QB Matt Barkley on the final drive)

Next up for the Hokies is a game against #22 Nebraska in Blacksburg. On deck for the Trojans is a game @ U-Dub.

religion dilemma solved

2009-09-01T16:42:00.000+01:00

Two weeks ago*, I went home for just over a day before heading out to Hawaii with the family. Unfortunately, this meant that I had to spend a Sunday morning at home which meant church time. It's always difficult to be forced to go to mass with my family and, this time, I didn't have Jesse with me to act as a buffer. I figured I'd be the only really, really, really lapsed Catholic in the church.

The church my family goes to is not a regular church. A few years ago, the Diocese of Orange purchased land to build the Diocese's second cathedral. This was before the pedophile priest scandal broke out. The church had not yet been built at the time of the scandal and, in an attempt to build a church community, religious services were held at a nearby grade school auditorium until a Cathedral could be built. A few years later, the Diocese still didn't have the funds to start building on the land they had purchased. Why? Well, they were too busy spending money on those case settlements for the pedophile priests the Diocese had protected**. Just last year, the Diocese bought the church community some portable units and combined them to make a makeshift church-like facility. This has been about a 5 year process. To this day, the Diocese has not yet started building the Cathedral.

When I entered the makeshift church, I noticed the community's demographic--old and young, nothing in between, and mostly Latino. I was greeted by friends of my family and soon sat down and waited for mass to begin.

Unlike all those other times since I've moved out that I've been forced to go to church, I felt like I didn't belong and I was COMFORTABLE with it. I listened to the deacon give his sermon (which was about communication) and felt that the advice was not only helpful, but universal--as in, not just advice for Catholics but for everyone. When the collection plate came by, I refused to put any money into it. Everything was fine and dandy until...

Communion time. We were seated in the second row and, soon it was my row's turn to go up to receive the body and blood of Christ. Catholic teachings require that your soul should be pure before receiving the host and the wine. Considering I violate Catholic teachings every day with my views, I knew that the Church didn't deem me worthy of receiving the body and blood of Christ. However, as I was about to sit down, my mom pinched me hard, forcing me to stay in line to receive the host.

Whenever Jesse and I go to church with my family, I never receive communion. After many years of Catholic school, I know I have sinned by violating the teachings of the Church and the sacrament of Confession requires that you reveal your sins and be sorry for committing them. I do not feel sorry about my views and my job and therefore I have not been to Confession in forever. I think my mom assumes that when I don't go up to receive communion I do it to keep Jesse company (Jesse cannot receive communion since he is not Catholic).

So my mom forces me to stay in line for communion and I know exactly what to do when I get up to the priest. When it is my turn, instead of extending my hands palm up to receive the host, I cross my arms over my chest and look down. This is a common signal to a priest that I want a blessing, not communion. The priest blesses me and I'm on my way. I'm not sure if my mom saw that I didn't take communion because when I went to my seat, she was beaming at me.

That day was remarkable to me for one reason--I realized that day that I am not a lapsed Catholic. I'm a former Catholic. While there will always be some Catholicism in my life as it is so ingrained in my culture, I feel comfortable not subscribing to one particular religion. In fact, I think I will make the following bible passage the main tenet of my religious faith:

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

From the parable of the sheep and goats in Matthew 25: 34-40

*Yes, I know that this story is way late but in the last 20 days, I've spent only 7 days in DC. The rest were business travel and vacation travel days. If you are wondering, yes, I'm still jet-lagged :)
**Everything you wanted to know about the priest sex abuse scandal in Orange County can be found here.

the truth about obamacare

2009-08-13T20:24:00.000+01:00

I can't believe they totally figured us out. You all know who 'they' is. 'They' are the brave citizens showing up at the town hall meetings, screaming about how their America is being flushed down the toilet with the feces of socialism. I guess they're just too smart for the President and the rest of the Dems (Not those Blue Dogs though. They know what's up).

First off, these death panels. I mean, how did they figure those out from the text of the 1000+ page plan which I'm sure they read? Yes, Obama totally wants to knock off all of those who are a complete strain on our economy. It's all part of the stimulus, you see. Come on! Old people? Who wants 'em? Their eating up my (future) social security and they're increasing the cost of Medicare with all of those illnesses they keep getting! Sure, Medicare only makes up about 2% of the federal budget (far less than our defense spending or those wars we've been fighting), but that's 2% that can be going to something else. Like the cost of these death squads. They're going to be meeting on a regular basis, I hope. That way we can eliminate the old people as quickly as possible.

And you know what? Even Sarah Palin gets it right every once in a while. Trig better watch out! Children with disabilities are totally on that list. Nevermind that the Democrats are the ones responsible for getting them a special education and all back in the day. Well, we're taking it back! No cushy life for you, disabled kids!

One of my favorite parts of the plan is the mandate for free sex-change surgeries. I heart transgender people. In fact, more people should change their sex. Personally, I've always wanted to know what it was like to be a man (particularly, what it is like to earn a man's wage and using the world as a giant toilet). With Obamacare, you now have that chance!

Another one of my favorites is the mandate for school based clinics. What I like about this is that now we can force abortions upon pregnant teens. Come on! How convenient is that? The clinics can totally replace those day cares that some high schools have. Find yourself inconveniently pregnant at 16? Well, then ditch homeroom and head over to the school clinic. In about an hour, you'll be totally de-pregnified. I wish I had that at my conservative, Catholic high school. I totally would've had promiscuous sex back then!

Speaking of abortions, under Obamacare, they are totally free, paid for by tax payer dollars! Isn't that awesome? Despite never having been pregnant, I've always wanted to have one so I plan to take advantage of this benefit. Nevermind the countless federal laws that prohibit public funding from being used to fund abortions. Obamacare is totally going to take care of that. He is, after all, the most pro-abortion president ever.

My favorite part of Obamacare is that you will no longer have to think about what medical procedures you need. The Obama-approved Health Choices commissioner is going to do that for you. Granted, we already have that now. They are commonly known as Kaiser and United and Blue Cross. You know them. They're the same people who denied you that mammogram because of your pre-existing condition (pre-existing condition = being female), remember? Under Obama's plan, only one person will be making those decisions for everyone. Which is great for me because I can be so indecisive sometimes.

And you all know how the economy is crap right now. Well, there's a cost savings measure in the plan too. Basically, any medical procedure costing more than $22000 will not be covered by Obamacare. That's simply too much money for one person. It doesn't matter if that $25000 surgery will save your life. It's still too much money for government rationed health care. What? You think the government is made of money?

Personally, I'm all for this plan. There will be far less annoying old people in the world and abortions for everyone! What a perfect world.

*******************************************************************

*SIGH* I guess I can take my tongue out of my cheek now. How ridiculous does this post sound? Well, that's what conservatives think about Obama's plan for health care reform. The hilarious thing is that people are eating the lies that the insurance industry is feeding them and screaming it back to their representatives at these town halls.

So, you can be a sheep for the insurance industry and fight for the status quo which leaves 1/3 of the US population without health insurance, OR you can make up your own mind by doing the research. In fact, I've started the search for you. Here are some non-partisan sites that are dissecting the many health care reform plans that are out there:

politifact.com
factcheck.org
ABC News
AARP

Personally, I think politifact.com is awesome and comprehensive and it has even won a Pulitzer.

how is it that i haven't blogged about this already?

2009-08-12T19:07:00.001+01:00

Some food for thought...

More health care reform stuff tomorrow.

UPDATE: For the story of Deamonte, go here.

quit your drinkin' -- the lendale white diet

2009-08-03T18:24:00.000+01:00

USC football finally starts in 33 days and, OMG, I can't wait. NFL football will be starting soon too and, while I don't have a team (LA hasn't had a team in forever), I'm content to follow the Trojans who have turned pro. I cheer for the individual players rather than teams.

One player that always makes me yearn for the USC of old (and by old, I mean 4 years ago) is LenDale White. You might remember him as being the Thunder to Reggie Bush's Lightning. LenDale decided to turn pro rather than play college ball his senior year and that decision bummed out many USC fans (especially this one). So I've been expecting great things from him as a pro.

Apparently, LenDale has been having some weight issues.

Here he is being the awesome running back he was while at USC.

eat dust, silly oregon ducks defensive player!

Then he turned pro and gained some weight. And while he was doing fine as a pro, his weight really affected his speed (his speed was actually an asset while he was at USC).

photo courtesy of espn.com

Now, LenDale has lost 30 pounds and is a little lighter than he was as a player at USC.

photo courtesy of jacksonsun.com

How did he shed the weight? Well, he gave up tequila. When asked about his weight loss plan, LenDale commented, "I really got to be honest. It wasn't a lot of major diet changes. (It was) watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer. ... That's what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don't drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months. And it started falling off."

I commend LenDale for his ability to stop drinking, but how much does one have to drink to put on 30 pounds? Sounds like a lot of drinking and he should be looking into that as a health issue. I've seen many alcoholics drop weight while in treatment so I'm hoping LenDale doesn't have a problem (and if he does, he should seek treatment).

On a lighter note (no pun intended), I do hope that his recent weight loss will make LenDale more thunderous on the field.

because society says its perfectly acceptable to kick a big girl while she's down

2009-07-29T19:09:00.000+01:00

I like making statements. I tend to boycott things I don't like. Like Walmart. Can't stand the Waltons. Can't stand what they do (or rather don't do) to their employees. Won't forget how they refused to stock Plan B in their pharmacies until the Court stepped in. And Smoking Loon. They make wine I won't buy. Why? Because the owners use some of their profits to donate to anti-choice causes in California.

And then there's Fox. I hate Fox so much I now prefer to watch The Simpsons online. Thankfully, my boycott of Fox allows me to miss this monstrosity of a show--More to Love.

More to Love is a reality dating show for the people Fox has deemed as "Real People". It's like The Bachelor but with big girls and a big bachelor. And instead of inspiring viewers to root for the hottest/nicest contestant to win the heart of the suave, successful bachelor like on The Bachelor, the show elicits more of a pitying or mocking reaction. Why? Because unlike The Bachelor, the girls on More to Love have sob stories which the show's producers want you to know about every opportunity they get. Apparently, if you wanted to be a contestant on More to Love, you had to be:

Overweight
Had attempted dieting at least 2 times in your life
Had failed at such attempts
Have long flowing locks
Wish you were skinny
Have skinny friends that you envy because they get everything they want and you don't

Bonus points for:
Having never been in love
Having never been on a date

(Megan from Jezebel actually auditioned for the show and wrote a post about it. It's a great read. Don't stop at the end of the post. The comments are good too.)

What More to Love does is encourage stereotypes about big girls and elicit pity as it is an acceptable reaction to big girls and their "pathetic" lives. While I certainly don't expect any better from Fox (after all, this is the network that brought us Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?), it still upsets me to see these women edited to appear as they they are nothing without a man. And the only man who is capable of loving them is a big man. Come on, Fox! One of them is an actual rocket scientist for chrissakes!

And don't get me started on the bachelor of this show. If you look up "smarmy" in the dictionary, his picture will be right there.

I have news for Fox. I'm a big girl. I've never dieted in my life. I play tennis, I work out on the Wii, and I do a lot of walking in this city. Yes, I indulge in the occasional slice of pizza, but I balance that with healthy snacks. When I get upset, I play with my cats instead of eating a tub of Ben and Jerry's. My hair is short and dyed red because I like to take chances with my hair. I don't wish I was skinny (shocker, I know). I actually like who I am. Oh and when good things happen to my friends of all sizes, I'm happy for them. Moreover, I've been on many dates and I am currently in love. By the way, my boyfriend is big, but it's muscle, baby. Just feel his biceps (actually, don't because I can get a bit possessive).

And while it's totally cliche for me to tell you "You can kiss my fat ass!" I won't. I will tell you that if you don't stop that sh*t I'm going to send my boyfriend to beat you up.

am I ethnic enough?

2009-07-28T16:04:00.000+01:00

I know where I come from and I'm proud of my family and our history. But every once in a while, I wonder if I'm Latina enough.

It began when I was little at my Catholic elementary school. The first language I ever knew was Spanish. When I started Kindergarten, I was told that I wasn't allowed to speak Spanish any more (despite the fact that 90% of the class was Latino and spoke Spanish). Over the years, I lost my ability to speak Spanish. I could understand it well, but speaking, grammar, and writing became an issue.

Then I went to high school and took Spanish and it all came back to me--like riding a bike. Honestly, it all came back but one thing. My accent.

Some of you have probably heard me speak Spanish and have thought that I speak with the right accent, but I don't. I listen to Honduran, Mexican, Argentinian, Salvadorean, Columbian, Venezuelan accents all day long and my Spanish doesn't sound like that. Mine sounds different.

My accent isn't the only thing.. My appearance apparently makes me less Latina too. I'm pale skinned with green eyes and (dyed) red hair. A few weeks ago, I was doing a first interview with a potential client when he told me (in Spanish), "Your grammar is very good but you don't look Latina." When I asked him why he thought that, he replied, "Your coloring is off." What does that even mean?

Pondering this question over the weekend, I googled this topic and, time and time again, I came across the list. If anything made me feel even less like a Latina it was this:

10 Ways To Tell You're a Latina

You know you are Latina:

1. If you can't fight the urge to clap on a plane that has just landed!
2. If your boyfriend plucks, waxes or in any other way grooms his eyebrows even more than you do, then you are most likely a Latina...dating a Latino!
3. If even though you're fluent in English, you still refer to going grocery shopping as a compra.
4. If you have ever committed the cardinal sin and fashion faux pas of wearing socks with sandals!
5. If something immensely sad or something immensely adorable both elicit the exact same response of "Hay Bendito!".
6. If your grandmother's chancletas seemed to have some mystical boomerang powers, you know, she threw it at you and somehow it was magically back in her hand before you could even look up from your hiding place, then you are definitely Latina!
7. If Vick's VaporRub was pronounced Bibaporú and used by everyone in your family to cure anything from burns to acne to La Gripa to infertility.
8. If you have ever sat down on a couch and then immediately fallen off because of the slippery smooth surface created by the plastic covering the entire living room set...Latina all the way baby!
9. If you grew up with a mother and/or grandmother who made you eat a ton of their food to prove how much you loved them, and then called you gordita five minutes later while pinching your chichos!
10. If you are completely fed up with being called, fiery, spicy, caliente or any other adjective that could also describe a chili pepper, you are absolutely, positively, undeniably Latina.

In my whole life, I've only experienced #9 (and that's embarrassing to admit).

The fact is that Latinas come in all different colors, accents, sizes and experiences. Think of all the famous Latinas in Hollywood. Did you know that the following people are Latina?

Alexis Bledel (Rory of Gilmore Girls)
Jordana Brewster (love interest in the Fast and the Furious movies)
Camilla Belle (recently broke the heart of a Jonas Brother)
Cameron Diaz
Zoe Saldana (recently in the new Star Trek movie)
Kelis (hip hop artist of "Milkshake" fame)
Fergie (of the Black Eyed Peas)
LaLa (former MTV VJ)

And that's not counting the Latinos, like NFL QB Tony Romo and NBA star Carmelo Anthony.

There is no one single definition of being Latina. Within our own community there is so much diversity that homogeneity is impossible. And it's not just us. After all, what is Black? What is White? What does it all mean and why does it matter? It's as if society forces us to fit into these boxes that probably makes sense to the government (ie. US Census), but doesn't make any sense at all in the grand scheme of things.

So why tear each other down within the community? During the elections, I was surprised to hear people in the Black community claiming that Barack Obama just isn't Black enough. He was making history and this is what people were saying about him? What does 'being Black' mean? How is Obama not Black enough? As minorities, knowing what it is like to thought of as 'other', it's a shame that people within the same community chastise others for not being "(blank)" enough. As if being "(blank)" was some kind of universally accepted standard.

While I don't think the potential client I mentioned above was intentionally trying to make me feel like 'the other' within my own community, that was the end result of his comments. I may have assimilated very well into this country, but I should not give anyone the power to make feel less like a part of my community.

The next time someone makes me feel like I'm not Latina enough, I know exactly how to respond. I may not be Latina enough for them, but I am certainly Latina enough for me.

my introduction to virginia's eastern shore

2009-07-27T16:53:00.001+01:00

Two weekends ago, Jesse and I went to the Hampton Roads area to watch his nephew play in a basketball tournament. When we weren't watching games, we were exploring the area and one of the places we explored was the Eastern shore.

I don't hear much about VA's Eastern shore as I do Maryland's Eastern shore and I was told there really isn't much there. But I saw on the map that there was a wildlife preserve which I really wanted to see and we had time to kill so we went.

One of the first things we did after crossing the Chesapeake Bay (by the way, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel is scary and incredibly long...it may be longer than the bridge over Lake Pontchartrain which is also scarily long) was go to the preserve. We didn't get to see much wildlife, but we did get to see a turtle that was slowly crossing the road. Unfortunately, Jesse drove right over it, not noticing it was there. Poor little turtle. The tragedy of its death nearly ruined the experience of the visit for me. In fact, I'm getting all sad over it right now as I type this.

At the suggestion of the volunteer at the preserve, we explored Cape Charles, which is a town on the Eastern shore with a nice, quiet beach. I really liked the tranquility and small town feel of the place, which was very family friendly.

We spent so much time doing both of these things that, by the time we left Cape Charles, we had to head back to meet Jesse's family for dinner. I was bummed because I really wanted to go to Chincoteague for obvious reasons but we decided that it was best to go another time when we weren't so rushed.

unsent: open letters for everyone!

2009-07-23T19:25:00.000+01:00

Dearest love of my life,

My my my! You've become quite the little political pundit. I love how you remind me when Keith Olbermann is on (bless his little angry liberal heart). Moreover, you enjoy Rachel Maddow as much as I do. I know that when I met you, politics really wasn't your 'thing'. Yet, here you are, five years later, right there beside me, getting mad at Sarah Palin and Michael Steele. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

*Kisses*

Your Lizzie Poo

_______________________________________

Hey Demi Lovato,

Darn you for making catchy music. Although I've never seen your movies or tv show on the Disney Channel, I'm sure you are way better than Miley! Keep up the good work!

Say hi to Selena Gomez for me!

Later, chica,
Not a Tween

_______________________________________

Dear Daisy,

I've been watching your show Daisy of Love for some time and, well, I'm rooting for ya. I honestly hope that you do find love, despite your show being an unconventional way of finding love (and has a track record of not being successful, see: Flavor Flav). You're down to 12 Pack, Flex, and London. I don't know if any of these guys are Long Term Relationship material, but you do seem to have that crazy connection with London even though he's hurt you before. Good luck on making your decision. I'll be watching on Sunday.

Sincerely,
Addicted to VH1 Reality Shows

_______________________________________

Dear Mother Nature,

Humidity sucks! Stop that!

With love,
Spoiled Californian Who Hates Humidity

_______________________________________

Dear BF's family,

I really do apologize for blurting out "California should just legalize marijuana" during dinner this weekend. By the looks of all of your faces and the long silence that ensued, I'm sure you all think I'm a pothead when the reality is that I've never done that. Really, I swear.

Sincerely and Honestly,
Not a Pothead

______________________________________

Dear Sonia Sotomayor,

No worries, chica. You've got it. It's just a matter of time. Trust, those Republicans are just giving you a hard time because they have a base they need to appease. However, I do think that Jeff Sessions is just that way all the time (psst...he's a racist who didn't get to be a judge because he uttered a racial slur).

Sinceramente,
A Proud Latina

P.S. Thanks for taking Franken seriously. He's new at this.

______________________________________

Dear President,

I realize you're busy and all with the economy and health care but you're supposed to be pro-gay and I've noticed that Don't Ask, Don't Tell is still in effect. Weren't you supposed to stop that? The hate crime legislation and all is good but gays and their supporters want an end to DADT.

Oh and add gay marriage to that request too.

Can you get on that?

Thanks,
Impatient Liberal

______________________________________

Dear Dominick Kitty,

I love you to bits as you know but I don't think it's a good idea for you to sleep on my chest anymore during human bedtime. Yes, I loved it when you did that as a kitten, but you're quite the big boy now. When you sleep on me, it's kinda hard to breathe because you're a bit heavier now. So, can you please stop trying to kill mommy in her sleep?

Feel free to sleep right next to me or next to my head as you sometimes do.

Kisses and cuddles,
Mommy

____________________________

Dear Blog Peeps who banded together to keep me from buying Crocs,

Thank you so much for all of your suggestions. They really got the wheels turning in the ol' noggin. I've got just under 4 weeks to look into all your recommendations and that's plenty of time. Yes, I like to plan ahead. Anyhoo, you all are awesome!

Thanks again!
A Lucky Blogger

______________________________________

sometimes all you need is a little help from your friends

2009-07-22T17:46:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, my office was taken over by the IT guys who were trying to fix my new work computer. Because the spare department computer was being used by someone who was taking a webinar, I had no access to a computer at all for about 4 hours yesterday. In between clients, I sat in the waiting room, reading through some really boring DC regulation stuff for my program.

Shortly before noon, a guy and a girl came into the waiting room. They checked in with the HIV counselors and were handed some paperwork to fill out (standard procedure before an HIV test). The guy was gay and the girl appeared to be a very good friend of his. He seemed really nervous as he was filling out his paperwork. After the girl finished her paperwork, she rubbed her friend's back as he tried to get through his. "Everything's going to be ok. Trust me," she said in a soothing tone.

Soon after, the HIV counselor came out and asked them, "Who's first?" The guy turned to his friend and said, "I can't do this right now. I'll feel better if you go first." And then his friend disappeared into the counseling room.

While waiting, the guy was really fidgety. I wanted to ask him if he was ok, but we weren't alone in the waiting room. There were a couple of other people waiting for their results.

Several minutes later, his friend came out and it was the guy's turn. As he passed her by, she said, "It was easy. Really. I'll be right here when you're done."

When the guy came out of the HIV counselor's office, he told the girl, "I have to wait 20 minutes. I can't wait that long. Let's go to Starbucks." And off they went.

About a half hour later, they came back. The guy complained about how the coffee made him even more nervous. When the HIV counselor came out, he called the girl first. With confidence, she walked back into the counseling room. I've seen that walk before. I recognized her demeanor as one of someone who is expecting a negative result (usually rightfully so).

A short while later, the guy went in. When he came out of the counseling room, his friend looked at him expectantly as a wide grin spread over his face. "I'm negative! I'm negative!" he exclaimed happily. His friend gave him a big hug and said some stuff to him that I couldn't hear. When they pulled away from the hug, the guy pulled a paper bag from behind him and said, "And they gave me lots of free condoms! I'm never having sex without a condom again."

I smiled to myself. Sometimes scaring kids straight is a good method of HIV prevention.

As they got into the elevator, the guy pulled his friend into a hug again and said, "I'm so happy you came with me. I wouldn't have done it without you."

The elevator doors closed and witnessing this whole exchange gave me the warm fuzzies. His friend went with him and got tested to give him the support he needed to get tested himself. How awesome is that?

the image i got when googling warm fuzzies. source geocities.com

In my years of doing this kind of work, it's rare to see two people get tested together. Usually, testing is a solitary event, with people sometimes going out of their way to get tested in a place where he/she wouldn't run into friends. They're alone and ashamed and anxious. I imagine that the short wait time to get the results when you think you might be positive feels like an eternity. It can be a stressful event that one doesn't have to take on by him/herself. Sometimes having a caring support system is all you need.

This whole thing kinda makes me want to offer my support and company to anyone who is too scared to get tested. Any takers?

to croc or not to croc? that is the question

2009-07-21T19:50:00.000+01:00

A few weeks ago, my sister invited me to go to Hawaii with her and mom. A family trip of sorts. I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but haven't had the chance or the funds to go. But my sister got a really great resort package deal that included the flight from Cali and, honestly, I HAD to say yes! How could I say no to a trip to Hawaii that actually factored into my budget?

Since we booked everything, I've been preparing for the trip. Big welcome at the airport with leis? Check. Multiple swimsuits? Check. Cute cover-ups? Check. Flip flops for the beach? Check. Cute dresses for going out? Check. Cute sandals for going out? Check. Comfy shoes for the hike to the top of Diamond Head? Uhhh...

No.

For those of you who aren't familiar, Diamond Head is one of the volcanos in Hawaii. Apparently, when you get to the top, you get a breathtaking view of the island. Here's a breathtaking view of Diamond Head from the Pacific.

Source: wikipedia.org

The Diamond Head Trail is just under 2 miles long one way. From what I read, the trail can be steep at times and even unpaved. Moreover, according to a hiking enthusiast friend of mine, volcanic rock can be unsteady and sharp. This probably means that I can't walk this trail with plan ol' flip flops.

Naturally, this gives me the perfect excuse to buy some shoes. My sister suggested that I just buy some Tevas, but I know that if I do buy them, I will never wear them again after the trip. I'm not a Teva kind of girl. I want a shoe that is incredibly comfortable but has some traction.

This leaves me with two options: sneakers or Crocs. And because I hate socks with a passion, especially because I will be on holiday at a tropical locale, I'm actually leaning towards the Crocs.

I know. The horror. Trust, I know Crocs are ugly. In fact, under any other circumstances, I would not consider buying any. But I read some shoe reviews on Amazon and Endless and someone said that they specifically bought Crocs to go to Hawaii and they wore them to hike Diamond Head and that they were perfect.

So blog peeps, I have a request. Please save me from buying Crocs. There's gotta be a cute shoe out there that's super comfy and not ugly and with enough traction to go on walks in the wilderness. Perhaps some of you have gone to Diamond Head and can advise me on what to wear on my feet.

Any feedback is appreciated. Even if it's just "I hate Crocs."

fun, frisky felines*: oh say can you see...that bird over there?

2009-07-02T16:37:00.000+01:00

Jesse and I leave the blinds open in our home during the day so that the kitties can entertain themselves by watching what's going on outside. My mom is against this because she thinks I'm teasing the kitties. I don't really see it that way. If swaying tree branches and chirping birds stimulate the kitties' minds, then I'm all for it.

However, I do think that Gracie thinks the big, clear window is a big, fat tease. Just hearing the chirping birds and watching them fly by is enough to turn on her hunting instinct. Daily, there she is, sitting on the window sill, her efforts to chase down these birds thwarted by the window glass.

Poor little Gracie gets frustrated. And when she gets frustrated, she makes the weirdest sound ever. It sounds like she's hoarse and saying 'ack, ack, ack.'

And because Gracie rarely speaks, I had to capture it on video. She makes the sound at the very beginning of the video and as I'm waiting for her to make the sound again, she just sits there and looks pretty, as she often does.

If you're wondering what Gracie is going to do for 4th of July, wonder no more. I'm sure she'll just sit on the sill, 'ack, ack, ack'-ing at the birds flying by.

Whatever you do for 4th of July, have fun but be safe. Happy Independence Day!

*yeah, I know it's not Friday.

michael bay, stop ruining transformers!

2009-06-30T15:47:00.000+01:00

I try not to think about race and racism, despite the fact that I'm a woman of color and I work with a lot of people of color and my program serves only people of color. I figure that I deal with enough of racism and associated crap at least 40 hours a week. Sometimes, on the weekend, I try not to think period. I prefer to just sit down and be entertained.

Like seeing a movie.

This past weekend, Jesse and I watched The Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Like with the first movie, I lowered my expectations as low as they could go so I wouldn't be disappointed afterward (this totally worked for the first one). Even with my low expectations, I would've never anticipated this.

*spoilers ahead*

Imagine my horror when I saw the Autobot twins, Skid and Mudflap.

Let's just analyze their appearance, shall we?

Right now, you're probably thinking, those are some pretty ugly autobots. Well, they are. While all the other autobots, look strong and majestic, the twins are goofy looking and small. Notice the small heads in proportion to their body. Note that Optimus Prime (the leader of the Autobots) carries himself with strength and power.

The twins' heads? Don't they remind you of something? I don't know about you, but they look like monkey heads. It's the small size in comparison with the body, the large ears sticking out at the sides. They also have mouths that protrude slightly. Speaking of mouths, both twins have bad teeth and one of them has a gold buck tooth. None of the other autobots look like animals, not even Bumblebee whose name comes from his colors--yellow and black (in the original cartoons, Bumblebee was a VW bug so the name made more sense).

By now, you're thinking...so the twins are ugly. What's offensive about that?

Well, the twins are black. You know this by the way they talk. They jive talk and are the only autobots that speak in slang. Moreover, the twins are constantly fighting with each other (I guess blacks are belligerent). Of all the autobots, they are the most immature. Even during one of the most serious scenes of the film, they fight for no reason, which then annoys Bumblebee and he has to pull them apart. Their behavior and antics are at a Jar Jar Binks level of annoying.

Oh, and did I mention the twins can't read? In the first movie, Optimus Prime tells Sam that they learned English through the Internet. I'm assuming that the twins didn't care to learn the language or maybe they've never seen the Internet. Which would be OK, except the language they are asked to read is an autobot language. Some bit-character decepticon is able to look at the text and determine that the text is in this autobot language although he can't read it, but the twins can't even identify it as such. That's just ridiculous.

According to an article I read, the twins are voiced by a white guy. While I'm not saying that a white person shouldn't provide the voice for a black animated character, it pisses me off that this is the voiceover person's impression of what young black men are like.

Michael Bay himself has dismissed the controversy saying that the twins are supposed to appeal to young people. He wanted characters that would reflect the younger generation of today. Well, perhaps Mr. Bay ought to spend more time in urban settings where young people hang out because young people are nothing like the twins.

First off, most young people can read. Young people don't look like apes. AND young people are not always breaking into fights. As far as using these characters appealing to a young audience, Mr. Bay has failed. Badly.

my conflicting feelings over michael jackson

2009-06-29T17:40:00.000+01:00

This post is not for those of you who are holding nightly vigils near Michael Jackson posters.

This post is for those of us who have conflicting feelings about the passing of Michael Jackson (henceforth referred to as MJ).

When I first heard about his sudden death and the flood of grief and shock, I was confused. After all, the MJ that everyone is grieving right now, the one who was an innovator in music and in dance, 'died' about 20 years ago. Within the last 20 years, MJ has turned into a caricature, a person haunted by both personal and external demons.

In the last 20 years, MJ

had lightened his skin
had one too many rhinoplasties
had married and divorced Elvis' daughter (not before filming a creepy music video in which they both appear naked)
was accused of child abuse countless times (at least one case was settled out of court)
dangled his baby from a balcony
went to trial for child abuse charges
went to said trial in pajamas
agreed to appear in a documentary about his life
did not appear to be lucid in said documentary
admitted to lying in bed with children (little boys specifically) and expressed how there was nothing wrong with that (in said documentary).

Although MJ was found not guilty of child abuse charges (for the record, OJ was found not guilty too), the court of public opinion had already condemned him (myself included). The documentary did nothing to change my mind about this, particularly his comment about sharing his bed with boys. I wonder, if MJ had a fondness for sharing his bed with little girls, would his fans still believe in his innocence? Would there have been a bigger public outrage? Would his fans have gotten over that pretty quickly just as they did with his alleged abuse of little boys? What is it about celebrities that we are so quick to forget their transgressions?

As you know, I see a lot of substance abuse and mental illness in my line of work and my opinion is that MJ is a classic case of both. I have no doubt that MJ was mentally ill. The longtime abuse from his money-grubbing father and an entire lifetime in the spotlight does not leave someone unscarred by the experience. If anything, I feel much sadness that MJ never got the help he truly needed, probably because the people he surrounded himself with only saw him as a meal ticket, rather than a human being crying out for help. Instead of getting real help, MJ self-medicated (I read somewhere that the only things that were in his stomach at the time of death were pills). And all of those around him probably noticed but decided to look away.

The Michael Jackson everyone is mourning now has long been gone. Celebrity friends are coming out of the woodwork, commenting about how troubled he was and how they knew it all could end this way. Well, then, so-called friends, where the f*ck were you all when he was down and out and looking to prescription drugs for help?

I do feel like an outsider (or even more of a minority than I usually feel) because I'm not crying over MJ's death while so many are. His sudden death does not surprise me. Yes, he was a musical innovator. He was a great singer and entertainer. But he was also a troubled person who sought comfort in drugs and the company of little boys.

Michael Jackson was a victim who victimized. I can't mourn someone who hurt others. But I can be sad because his cries for help were never answered.

no doubt concert review by certified orange county girl

2009-06-16T01:52:00.000+01:00

My love for No Doubt started almost 15 years ago around the time this budding feminist first heard "Just a Girl." Once "Don't Speak" was released, I was hooked for life. So, naturally, I had to see thek coolest band to ever come out of Orange County when they came to town during their so-called reunion tour.

The point of the tour was for the band to be inspired by the fans and incorporate this inspiration into their new album. And the show was incredibly fan-centric. In between songs, Gwen would speak to the crowd, regularly accepting presents and even bringing a fan on-stage for a hug and photo. How that fan managed to remain conscious during the whole thing was beyond me.

The set list was essentially a best-of recap and they rocked out to each song like it was 1996. Gwen, not looking a day over 29, wasn't as animated as she was in past shows, although she did open "Just a Girl" with her trademark push-up set (she had been challenged by a fan, so I don't know if the push-ups were planned). The 3-song encore was especially awesome because The Sounds and Paramore (the opening acts) joined No Doubt on-stage to sing their latest single, "Stand and Deliver." It set the tone for the concert conclusion--an enthusiastic rendition of "Sunday Morning."

Like I said, I've seen No Doubt in concert a lot but I would have to say that this was the best show I've ever seen them do. By the looks of the large gathering of adoring fans, I hope that the band found enough inspiration to put out the most awesome album ever. I can't wait!

I took these videos at the concert. The first one is Underneath it All and the second one is Just a Girl. Turn down the sound on your computer and hit play (I was in the pit and close to a speaker when I recorded these so the sound isn't stellar). Maybe you'll get a feel for the show by watching...

fun, frisky, felines: another online kitty shopping addicts anonymous meeting

2009-06-12T16:46:00.007+01:00

"Ok, let's go ahead and start the meeting. It looks like Lizzie is back again. It's so good to see you again. Let's all give her a warm welcome. Lizzie, would you like to tell us about yourself."

"Um, hi. My name is Lizzie. I live in Arlington. I've been to one of these meetings before, a while ago. I adopted two adorable kitties, Dominick and Gracie, from rescues about a year and a half ago. And it was such a great experience that I totally want to do it again, but my boyfriend says no. So I've resorted to online shopping.

I've tried to stop shopping for kitties online. I really have! But there are so many kitties out there waiting for their forever homes. And I want to adopt them all! Now that kitten season is here, all of those older kitties are getting ignored and passed over for those baby kittens and it makes me sad. Since June is Adopt-a-Cat month*, I've been going to Petfinder.com like nonstop. There are so many adorable furbabies looking for a home.

Like Giselle.

She's a precious little thing. Poor baby has a bit of a skin condition, but it's totally treatable. And her adoption fee is only $50! That's so cheap and it includes the cost of her spay and shots!

And there's Callie Sue.

She's reading the comics! How cute. Plus, she's a calico who happens to be very adaptive since she like other kitties and doggies.

Check out Bili.

I love this picture, right in the middle of her meow (actually, she kinds looks like Happy Cat). Her name means kitty in Urdu and Hindi so she's got a bit of international flavor. Plus she loves kids! Sounds like the perfect kitty for a family.

And look at Mary the Tortie.

There's something about kitties exposing their bellies that makes my heart flip. It's a sign of trust, you know. Looks like Mary is looking for a human to love and trust.

You know who gets a bad rap at shelters? Black kitties.

These are brother and sister twinsies--Flicker and Flame! I'm a proud owner of a black kitty and Dominick is the most loving, caring creature I've ever encountered and I've had lots of pets in my lifetime.

I'm not sure if I can ever get over this addiction. Even if I adopt another kitty, there will still be thousands more that need a home of their very own.

Maybe one day, people will responsibly spay and neuter their pets and there will not be any unwanted kitties in the world.

Until then...

My name is Lizzie and I am addicted to online kitty shopping."

*June really is Adopt-a-Cat month and lots of rescues are offering deals right now, like low adoption fees. Please consider opening up your heart and home to a homeless kitty. There really are so many this time of year.

All of the kitties featured in this post are available for adoption from Homeward Trails Animal Rescue. By clicking on their highlighted names, you will be directed to a profile page that tells you all the info you need in order to adopt them. Homeward Trails holds a lot of adoption events throughout the year in both DC and Northern VA. For a calendar of adoption events, go here. Homeward Trails helped us adopt our little Gracie and it was the smoothest process ever.

about to lose faith in all humanity

2009-06-10T16:51:00.000+01:00

I'm officially depressed. Things have been down for me emotionally and, while I choose to not discuss them in this blog for personal reasons, just know that I've been upset about things for several days now and I've yet to see the light at the end of this tunnel. And from that perspective, I write this post.

Because Fate likes to kick me while I'm down, yesterday morning I got the most interesting email at my blog email address. Presumably in response to my post on my reaction to Dr. George Tiller's murder, the email sender wrote nothing but an incomprehensible string of curse words. Buried among those curse words were the words "I hope you die like Tiller."

Yup. I guess that's the "pro-life" movement for ya.

I have long been a vocal opinionated blogger (well, except for my boring early stuff--please don't look at anything written in 2006) and I'm certainly not going to stop voicing my opinion just because some nut job terrorist sympathizer decided to email me his death wish. But I have long hoped that some of my posts, some of my soapbox moments actually reach some people. And maybe I don't change opinions, but maybe I encourage people to consider a view that is different from their own, encourage them to walk in someone else's shoes to see why someone would feel differently than they do.

I have received emails from strangers who read my blog thanking me for shedding light on a topic that is important to them, or a topic that helped them realize something or learn something new. I get choked up sometimes just reading them. It feels so good to help people, it really does (so much so that I've made a career out of it). And then there are emails from people who don't like what I write. And sometimes I write them back. And occasionally, we get into an email debate and that person finally accepts a differing view (notice I said accept not agree--hey, change is change, no matter how small).

Yesterday, upon reading that email, I realized that there are some people that will never change. That will never be open to another view. That would threaten someone with a different view in the name of their god. That would rather wish death upon someone to silence that view.

I'm not in the least bit threatened by this ~~anonymous coward~~ person. But I am saddened that there are people who have no qualms sending such an email to an opinionated blogger who has never performed an abortion and has never worked in a family planning clinic but who passionately supports people who do and the women who seek these (legal) services.

Yeah, I am totally one of those idealist do-good-er types. I work to open minds and change hearts, not just through this blog but in my community. I've always felt that nothing is impossible. But today, I feel like I've been slapped in the face by reality.

Try as I might, there are just some people who will never change.

one man's tale of sexual orientation modification

2009-06-04T20:03:00.000+01:00

In my experience, one of the most difficult populations to work with (in my field of work) are closeted Latino gay men. Oftentimes, there is a self-hatred so ingrained within themselves that they lack the motivation to change their health behaviors because change would be pointless. The depression is so deep they don't see a way out of it. Rather than deal with the depression, they get high, they get drunk, they have sex without protection with prostitutes or women they randomly meet (in order to feel manly).

There are two forces at work here: Machismo and religion. I understand that Machismo is a multifaceted problem but it comes down to this--Real Men/Manly Men are not attracted to other men. So, if a man is attracted to other men despite his ability to change, he is both not a Real Man and weak because he is not strong enough to change. When you come from a country with a very patriarchal social structure, there is much weight placed on one's manliness, basically from birth. And the burden of not conforming to what is expected of you can damage one's psyche.

As far as religion goes, Latinos tend to be very religious. Often, religion and culture is so intertwined that it is impossible to distinguish the two. Just go to Mexico City on December 12 and you'll know what I mean. For the most part, most Christian faiths do not accept homosexuality, even condemn homosexuality and profess that homosexuality is an impediment to heaven. And because every good Christian strives to lead a pious life and to make God happy, the closeted Latino gay man has no option but to change.

Except homosexuality is not a choice so how can one change that part of themselves?

According to one particular man we treated, his church thought they had the answer. M had been going to this particular church for many years and was struggling with coming out. He wanted to please God by changing who he is but felt that wasn't possible. That is until M confessed to a minister during a counseling session how he thought he was gay and the minister told him that he had a cure.

The cure? Well, M had to lock himself in a room for 4 days. He had to fast the whole time and only drink water. And he had to pray to God every minute of the day. According to the minister, if that didn't work, he was destined to go to hell.

M did the cure exactly as it was described to him. It turns out he was destined to be hospitalized. For exhaustion (apparently it doesn't just happen to Lindsay Lohan).

Moreover, M wasn't 'cured.'

Through a lot of help from my staff, M left the church and came out of the closet. Not only is M no longer depressed, but he has found the strength within himself to tell his story to others who find themselves in the same situation.

M is still very religious. He attends a different church now. He now believes that God made him just as he is and will love him no matter what. M still needs to battle against the Machismo of our culture, but at least he has reconciled with his God.

post-race era my ass

2009-06-03T21:22:00.000+01:00

Wow. Just wow.

Some people concluded that the election of a black man for president would be the beginning of a post-race era in this country. I think the criticism of Sonia Sotomayor has proven that is not the case.

FYI: I'm a woman and Latina and I cried tears of joy when Obama announced Sotomayor as his SCOTUS nominee.

Maybe I did buy into the post-race hype because I still can't believe how far the GOP has gone to discredit her simply because she is female and Latina. I don't remember race being an issue when Clarence Thomas was nominated (his sexism and incompetence were).

Let's discuss the cartoon. First off, it's from the Oklahoman (I like to source...this is not an implied judgment of Oklahoma). Second, it appears that Sotomayor is supposed to be a piñata. However, she looks like she's being lynched. Moreover, piñatas are Mexican and Sotomayor is Puerto Rican. Not the same country.

This cartoon is NOTHING compared to what the GOP/conservatives are saying. Here's a small sample:

Mike Huckabee: "The appointment of Maria Sotomayor for the Supreme Court is the clearest indication yet that President Obama's campaign promises to be a centrist and think in a bipartisan way were mere rhetoric." Obviously all Latinas are named Maria. Also, Maria and Sonia totally sound the same.

Newt Gingrich: "Imagine a judicial nominee said 'my experience as a white man makes me better than a Latina woman.' Wouldn't they have to withdraw? New racism is no better than old racism." Context is everything. Here's the quote, spoken within the context of the issue of diversity on the bench, "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life." I hate that Obama excused this statement by saying that she misspoke. Also in the same speech: "I am reminded each day that I render decisions that affect people concretely and that I owe them constant and complete vigilance in checking my assumptions, presumptions and perspectives and ensuring that to the extent that my limited abilities and capabilities permit me, that I reevaluate them and change as circumstances and cases before me requires." Yup, totally hating on White males. Regardless, I completely agree with her 'controversial' statement. Women judge differently than men. The best example I can provide is the SCOTUS decision on "partial-birth" abortion. In the opinion, Justice Kennedy said that the State should make the final decisions about pregnant women’s healthcare, because the State knows better than the woman herself that her “ultimate” role is as a mother. You think a woman would've agreed with that? Heaven forbid that there is one more woman on the SCOTUS that believes women are more than incubators.

Rush: "Here you have a racist — you might want to soften that, and you might want to say a reverse racist. The libs, of course, say that minorities cannot be racists because they don’t have the power to implement their racism. Well, those days are gone, because reverse racists certainly do have the power. … Obama is the greatest living example of a reverse racist, and now he’s appointed one." Ummm...Rush? WTF is a 'reverse racist'? Are rich, White males so oppressed these days? Also, your White male privilege is showing.

Tom Tancredo: "If you belong to an organization called La Raza, in this case, which is, from my point of view anyway, nothing more than a Latino -- it's a counterpart -- a Latino KKK without the hoods or the nooses." FYI, Tancredo, Raza doesn't just mean Race, it means family or community. Also, NCLR works to improve opportunity for Latinos so that they can achieve the American Dream but not at the expense of other, non-Latino types. You know, that whole bootstrap pulling sh*t you Republicans like.

G. Gordon Liddy: 'Let's Hope That The Key Conferences Aren't When She's Menstruating." Yes, women are irrational creatures that go insane once a month. First off, Sotomayor is probably old enough to be menopausal. Secondly, ummm, seriously? Liddy, your misogyny is showing.

Fred Barnes: "I think you can make the case that she’s one of those who has benefited from affirmative action over the years tremendously." Right. So, that whole getting the top academic prize while in Princeton and being the editor of the Yale Law Review have nothing to do with her abilities/intelligence. Next thing you'll tell me is that George Bush Sr had nothing to do with W getting into Ivy League schools. Because W is a Mensa member.

Go ahead and attempt your filibuster. It won't do a damn thing. Sotomayor is going to be a Supreme Court Justice, much to your chagrin. So just take it like a man and deal with it.

state of crap: CA budget cuts detrimental to criminal justice system

2009-06-02T18:19:00.000+01:00

As you already know, California's economy is in the crapper. What you probably didn't know is that the people of California recently voted on proposed measures that were designed to reduce future debt. In a move that is sure to make future CA residents who are not even born yet pay for the consequences, voters rejected all of the measures. The measures included tax increases and the reallocation of funds.

In rejecting these measures, the state government had to find other ways to close the multi-million dollar budget gap. Schwarzenegger is cutting everything. Funds for HIV/AIDS services will get cut, state beaches will shut down and poor children will be uninsured. I think the NY Times sums it up best:

The cuts Mr. Schwarzenegger has proposed to make up the difference, if enacted by the Legislature, would turn California into a place that in some ways would be unrecognizable in modern America: poor children would have no health insurance, prisoners would be released by the thousands and state parks would be closed.

One of those proposals is to cut all funding for Proposition 36. Prop 36 is (take it away, Wiki) "an initiative statute that permanently changed state law to allow qualifying defendants convicted of non-violent drug possession offenses to receive a probationary sentence in lieu of incarceration. As a condition of probation, defendants are required to participate in and complete a licensed and/or certified community drug treatment program. If the defendant fails to complete this program or violates any other term or condition of their probation, then probation can be revoked and the defendant may be required to serve an additional sentence which may include incarceration."

You're probably wondering why I am against this cut when I'm no longer a California resident (*sniff, sniff*).

Well, when I was in California two months ago, I was there for a training. Prop 36 was an integral part of the training. One of the days of the training, I got to visit and participate in an actual drug court. Instead of going to regular court, defendants with minor drug-related offenses would go to see this one judge who would then refer them to treatment.

The drug court consists of the judge, a public defender, a probation officer, two substance abuse counselors and the director of the substance abuse program that the defendants were referred to. Every week/every two weeks (depending on the severity of the addiction problem and the related crime), the defendants would go back to check in. The drug court judge was the most compassionate person I've ever seen in any legal system. He would publicly acknowledge defendant successes, especially those who completed treatment without relapse. People who had relapsed would receive a father-like lecture from the judge and were then sent to jail for a week to think about what they had done and how they were going to make things right when they are released.

In meetings both before and after the session, the drug court judge expressed empathy when discussing clients, but in court he showed some tough love. He genuinely cared about the defendants and they returned that sentiment. I sat close to the judge during the proceedings and he would often counsel the defendants privately. The defendants trusted him with their stories (which I obviously can't reveal here--let's just say they were depressing), and the judge would advise them appropriately. He was under no obligation to do so, but I think he liked that the defendants trusted him and sought his opinion on personal matters.

With cuts to all Prop 36 funding, drug courts and the treatment programs they refer to will no longer be able to count on this state funding stream. This would be extremely detrimental to the agency who trained me (an agency which counts among its successes its ability to treat meth addicts effectively. In my experience, meth addicts are the hardest to treat). Now, the offenders will probably face short prison sentences (you know, with overcrowding and all), receive absolutely no treatment for their problems, and just go back to committing the same crimes all over again.

There was a time in this country when incarceration was about rehabilitation, not punishment. And the drug courts were a perfect example of this. Without Prop 36, the cycle of recidivism will not stop. It would be a damn shame to end this program and negate all of its success.

george tiller, hero

2009-06-01T18:13:00.001+01:00

After having watched the documentary Religulous on Saturday, the news of Dr. Tiller's death on Sunday was incredibly hard to accept. I am still filled with hate and rage at the moment but I will do my best not to use swear words in this post.

For those of you who have never heard of Dr. George Tiller, I think NY Governor George Patterson described him best in yesterday's press release:

I was deeply saddened to learn that Dr. George Tiller, a well-known provider of and advocate for women’s health care, was gunned down this morning at his church in Wichita, Kansas. With his murder, we are robbed not only of a dedicated and courageous physician, but also of a husband, father and neighbor.

Dr. Tiller was targeted for his belief in the right of women to make their own health decisions. He protected that right and sought to ensure that his patients were provided with the medical, emotional and spiritual counsel they needed to make the right choice for themselves and their families. He continued this work despite the threat of harmful retaliation, physical attacks and the destruction of his clinic. We will forever remember his fearlessness, compassion and commitment.

Dr. Tiller was one of three abortion providers in the U.S. who performed abortions after 24 weeks of gestation. Late term abortions are almost always done when a woman's health is at risk or if the fetus has no chance of surviving outside of the womb or if the fetus has a condition that will lead to a slow, painful death post-partum. In a sense, Dr. Tiller was performing abortions that were deemed medically necessary (for testimonials of some of Dr. Tiller's patients, please go here).

But that's not what the anti-choicers want you to believe. He was a killer, running an abortion mill in Wichita, the abortion capital of the US. He had to be stopped. Domestic terror cell, Operation Rescue (let's just call a spade a spade, shall we?), had longed targeted Dr. Tiller, going so far as to move their terrorist organization to Wichita and posting all information about the people who worked in Dr. Tiller's clinic, including photos. Isn't that convenient? Why would they do that if not to incite violence against those employees and Dr. Tiller?

It is of no surprise whatsoever that Dr. Tiller's murderer was affiliated with Operation Rescue.

What should be of no surprise to the anti-choice movement is that the man who murdered Dr. Tiller (at his church, with his wife watching from the choir loft), has now created a martyr. Everyone in the women's rights movement was already familiar with Dr. Tiller and his passion for reproductive rights. This was a man who wore a bullet proof vest to work. Who had legal charges brought against him constantly by anti-choice politicians (he was never convicted, of course). Whose clinic had been bombed and, most recently, had been vandalized. Who was shot in both arms by another domestic terrorist (now serving time in prison). Who went to work every day despite these obstacles because he believed that women were capable and had the right to make their own health decisions.

In women's rights circle everywhere, we are banding together to decide what could we do to honor Dr. Tiller's memory. This blogger is making a sizable donation (of money I don't really have) to Medical Students for Choice, an organization that works to ensure that reproductive health procedures are taught in all medical schools and that the next generation of Dr. Tillers are properly trained to follow in his giant footsteps. Others are calling their local PP clinics in order to volunteer as escorts. Still others are planning to donate money to reproductive health organizations (such as PRCH, which Dr. Tiller was on the board of directors).

Some of us were inspired by Dr. Tiller's determination and perseverance. But now all of us know about it. He's inspired us to be more resolute in our efforts to defend a woman's right to choose and to fight back against those so-called pro-life groups that do nothing but breed terrorists who act in the name of their god.

I have just one thing to say about Scott Roeder.
~~May he rot in hell.~~ I hope he gets what he deserves.

fun, frisky felines: economic downturn edition

2009-05-29T19:24:00.000+01:00

As most of you know, Gracie had her little surgery this week. She was pretty much up and running and being all frisky-like the next day so she's going to be a-ok. *sigh* Moreover, she's being more affectionate than usual which gives me the impression that she's happy to be pain-free. She's been prescribed some painkillers and I know those tend to make me happy and pain-free too. As a kitty parent, I can't tell even begin to express how ecstatic this makes me.

So...about the title of this post...

A year and a half ago, Jesse and I made the decision to adopt a kitty (actually I had decided that a LONG TIME AGO...Jesse finally came around two Januaries ago). I searched and pored over petfinder.com and craigslist and individual rescue sites before finding our little Nicky (and again later to find our little Gracie). While searching through the craigslist ads in the pet section, I noticed two things: (1) an inordinate amount of listings asking for free pets and (2) an exorbitant amount of people giving their pets away because they didn't have the money to care for them.

The title of Chapter 56 in the Book of Duh is titled Pets Cost Money. Free pets will need to be spayed/neutered, taken for shots, etc. I suspect that the people posting these requests for free pets are not looking to take all of these necessary medical precautions because those procedures cost money and they are looking for handouts (in the form of a cute, cuddly kitten or puppy that will grow up to be a financially-consuming adult cat or dog). I could be wrong about the folks looking for freebies, but having been a regular reader of the pet ads at some point, a lot of the people asking for free pets eventually asked for free food, free bowls, free litter boxes, free leashes, etc.

While I understand why there would be a large number of people looking to give their pets away right now because of the state of the economy, seeing all of those ads two years ago didn't make much sense to me. I was apalled by some of the reasons people stated: "please take my pregnant dog because I never spayed her and now she has puppies and I can't afford to feed so many mouths" or "my cat needs surgery and I can't afford it so please take my cat so he can have a good life." How could people be so flippant about giving their pets away?

Before you jump into pet ownership, you must realize something first. Pet ownership is a privilege and it requires a full commitment. And by 'full' I mean that pets require an emotional, physical (dogs need walks, cats need exercise), and financial commitment. Caring for a pet is not cheap. Nicky's surgery was almost immediately succeeded by Gracie's surgery and, dude, do I really wish that we had signed up for that pet health insurance a long time ago. Jesse and I are not rich, so we had to make some sacrifices in order to pay for these surgeries. But the money we spent is far less important than the health and happiness of our furbabies.

I love my kitties. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm not complaining about the cost of caring for them at all. Adopting Nicky and Gracie was one of the best things Jesse and I have done. With shelters and rescues bursting at the seams, I think now is the time for people to contemplate adopting. However, people need to really think things through before doing so.

There are countless homeless doggies and kitties waiting for their forever home. They are living creatures that are completely dependent on us to keep them healthy and safe. We owe it to them to make a full commitment to love them and care for them but only when we are ready to do so.

cali sucks: prop 8 upheld

2009-05-26T18:13:00.000+01:00

I've got a lump in my throat as I type this.

If anyone is in the mood for some protesting, I encourage you to check out this website, which helped coordinate these events all over the country. For the DC peeps, our event is tonight in Dupont Circle.

It feels like I'm reliving the passage of Prop 8 all over again.

and what say you now, california supreme court?

2009-05-26T14:37:00.000+01:00

Today is D Day, or Day of Decision, as the California State Supreme Court is expected to announce its opinion on three cases filed shortly after the passage of Prop 8, all of which sought to overturn the proposition that amended the state constitution to include the refusal of equal rights for gays.

At the time of its passage, I really couldn't find the words to express the extreme disappointment in my home state (ugh. By the looks of the previous statement, I still can't). After all, this state is the home to San Francisco, Hollywood, and Disneyland (which would all be nothing without the gays). How could the state relegate gays to second class citizenry? How could the Mormon and Catholic Church wield their political prowess and still be tax exempt in this day and age? Whatever happened to the separation of church and state? How soon until we become a theocracy? How can we allow religious bigots to determine the rights of a minority?

In their decision to legalize same sex marriage, the Iowa Supreme Court said it best:

While unexpressed, religious sentiment most likely motivates many, if not most, opponents of same-sex civil marriage and perhaps even shapes the views of those people who may accept gay and lesbian unions but find the notion of same-sex marriage unsettling. Whether expressly or impliedly, much of society rejects same-sex marriage due to sincere, deeply ingrained—even fundamental—religious belief.

...Our constitution does not permit any branch of government to resolve these types of religious debates. State government can have no religious views, either directly or indirectly, expressed through its legislation. As a result, civil marriage must be judged under our constitutional standards of equal protection and not under religious doctrines or the religious views of individuals.

However, that is not the case before the California Supreme Court. The question is the validity of Prop 8--a so-called amendment to the state constitution that actually dramatically changes the intent of the constitution because Prop 8 essentially denies gays equal protection under the law. Prop 8 is more than just an amendment. It's a re-write. And how can a simple majority of voters basically re-write the state constitution? The prosecutors in these cases are arguing that such a decision of monumental consequence such be left up to the state legislature.

The court can rule one of three ways:

Uphold Prop 8 and nullify all same-sex marriages that were legal before.

Uphold Prop 8 and let stand all same-sex marriages that were legal before (thereby creating a class divide between married gays and those who now can't get married).

Strike down Prop 8.

This past Thursday was the anniversary of the White Night Riots, a not-so-peaceful protest following the conviction of Dan White (the man who killed Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone). He had been facing a charge of 1st Degree Murder and would've been sentenced to death if found guilty. Instead he was found guilty of the most lenient charge of voluntary manslaughter (and was in jail for 5 years).

This past Friday would've been Harvey Milk's 79th birthday.

June is gay pride month. And June 28th marks the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.

Will today's date be just as significant in the history of the gay rights movement?

At 1 pm Eastern time today, we will find out the answer.

move over, spaghetti cat (and dick cheney)!

2009-05-25T23:47:00.000+01:00

fun, frisky felines: love is...

2009-05-22T17:30:00.000+01:00

Love is...

Waiting a whole year for an unsolicited headbutt.

Waiting a whole year for an unsolicited Eskimo kiss.

Waiting half a year to hear her first meow.

Knowing that she might not sleep on the bed at night but leaving her a space on the pillow.

Resisting the urge to rub her fuzzy belly because she doesn't like that (but it's so soft!).

Taking the time to learn that she likes to be held upright and only upright (none of this carrying-around-like-a-baby stuff).

Letting her drink water from your cup because she always wants what is yours.

Being mad at yourself when she throws up on the bed.

Taking her in for surgery on the 26th so she can stop getting sick every day.

Using all the money from the annual Anniversary Trip in order to pay for the surgery (thereby canceling said Anniversary Trip).

And she's worth every penny.

bump(er sticker) watch!

2009-05-20T20:34:00.000+01:00

There's something about driving in Southern California that has left me permanently scarred as a driver. Maybe all of those hours stuck in traffic, feeling impatient and out of control, have damaged my driver psyche.

Whenever I've gone more than a week without driving, it takes me a while to get back in the swing of things. Last week, I was in Philadelphia for work. Since I was gone, I had not driven in a while. My first day driving in over a week was this past Saturday. I was plenty tense and anxious just getting into the vehicle.

While driving around in Arlington, I got cut off 5 times and was nearly hit twice in a short 15 minute drive (just going to the bank and then coming home). I noticed something about getting cut off--if the car (that eventually got) in front of me had a bumper sticker with a message that I didn't like, I was more apt to keep fuming in anger. However, if the car in front of me had a bumper sticker espousing some idea that I supported, my anger dissipated.

My name is Lizzie and I judge people by their bumper stickers.

Tis true. People who cut me off bearing "W '04" or "Don't blame me! I voted for Sarah!" stickers I cursed at repeatedly (don't worry, the windows were closed so no one heard me). On the other hand, the one driver who cut me off and then just stopped, causing me to brake suddenly and almost hit her (because she just had to get into the farthest left lane to make a turn and she was in the farthest right and her turn was coming up) had an Obama sticker on her car. Normally, an incident such as this would have made me not only angry but incredibly stressed and anxious, enough to trigger a panic attack and pop a Xanax. Instead, I noticed the sticker and forgave the woman for not just making a U-turn up ahead.

Moreover, it's not just political bumper stickers. If the car who cuts me off is bearing a USC Alumni sticker on the bumper, the driver is getting a free pass. However, if the car belongs to a Bruin, it's a whole different story.

I don't have a car now (I drive Jesse's) but if I did, I don't think I would put a bumper sticker on it. Unless I buy a car matching this sticker...

source: coolcyberstore.com

are people leaving the GOP in droves?

2009-05-19T15:05:00.000+01:00

In news that made Democrats happy, a recent Gallup analysis reveals that people are moving away from the GOP in almost all demographic areas.

Taking a look at this lovely graph from gallup.com, more young voters and people from the Midwest are de-identifying as GOP (9% change), followed closely by men (at 7%).

In this next graph (also from gallup.com), almost all categories show significant change with the biggest change being the college graduate demographic at 10%. The only demographic that has remained steadfast in its support of the GOP are frequent churchgoers (which is the only category that exhibited no change). People over the age of 65, conservatives, and non-college graduates saw little change in their identification as Republican.

As a proud liberal, I really want this news to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but it doesn't. The analysis is about party identification. Although some of these people are no longer identifying as Republicans, this doesn't mean that they won't vote conservative in an upcoming election. If anything, this analysis shows that more and more people are ashamed of being associated with the GOP.

And honestly, who can blame them? Yeah, the GOP is in shambles right now but that's beside the point. The point is that the party leaders (Rush, Boehner, et al--I'm looking at you) feel that the best way to turn the party around is to be even more conservative. I take this to mean that the white, elderly, church-going demographic is far more important to the GOP than young college graduates (which makes me wonder what the future of the party is if young people are averse to identifying as Republicans).

As far as the quest to be even more conservative, I'm not quite sure what their reasoning is, seeing as that the GOP has been catering to the ultra-right for quite some time (and still got their *sses kicked in the last election--you would think they would have heard the message voters were sending). Republicans who dare to suggest appealing to minorities or moderates are immediately shushed by Rush & Co as being RINOs (Republicans in name only). Hey, if the GOP wants to further isolate themselves and create a divide (Real America vs. Fake America), I'm all for it. I think the last election showed just how well that Real vs. Fake sh*t was received by the voting public.

The changes shown in this Gallup analysis do not mean that these people will be voting Dem any time soon. When push comes to shove, when a vote comes down to voting for someone who supports Obama or voting for someone who opposes Obama, I think we all know who they are going to vote for.

So, to answer the question posed in the title of this post, my answer would be no. I think some conservatives are simply ashamed of the GOP--what it has become and what the leaders propose it will be in the future.

condom wallets: fashion do or don't?

2009-05-14T22:41:00.000+01:00

I'm at this training this week and among all the things I'm being taught here, one of those is to give condoms to all clients at all times. Professionally, this is like straight from the Book of Duh. But the bigger question is how do you make condom use cool?

By having a condom wallet to carry your condoms, of course!

Here's one by Kenneth Cole via thisnext.com

Here's some faux patent and faux leathers ones from Condomania.com

Here's a vintage looking one from ebay (bidding ends June 10th!)

I'm ready to go ahead and order hundreds of these (not from any of the above sellers though) for my program. But I have several questions. Would guys use this? Would tough, macho-looking guys use this? What would women think if a guy pulled this out right before sex? Would they think, "Oh wow, he's being safe"? Or would they think it's lame? Would women use these? Or do most women assume it's the guy's responsibility to carry the condoms?

Blog peeps, I would love your opinion on this.

i'm totally ok with rush limbaugh's kidneys failing

2009-05-13T02:29:00.000+01:00

The White House Correspondents Association Dinner was this past Saturday. Comedienne Wanda Sykes took on the comedic roll made famous by Stephen Colbert in 2006 (best roast EVER...don't believe me? see for yourself).

The GOP is up in arms over some of the jokes Wanda Sykes made about Rush Limbaugh. In case you missed it, this is what she said:

"Mr. President . . . you've had your fair share of critics. ... Rush Limbaugh, one of your big critics, boy — Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails. So you’re saying, ‘I hope America fails.’ You’re like, ‘I don’t care about people losing their homes, their jobs or our soldiers in Iraq.’ He just wants our country to fail.

To me, that’s treason. He’s not saying anything differently than Osama bin Laden is saying. You know you might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight

“Too much?

“You’re laughing inside, I know you’re laughing.

“Rush Limbaugh — I hope the country fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that?

“He needs a waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

Considering my hatred for Rush, I laughed my *ss off. A certain political party who has anointed Rush as their new leader thinks otherwise.

Oh boo hoo. A liberal lesbian comic has offended Rush Limbaugh and is hoping that he dies. I can think of other more offensive statements...

When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it’s an invitation.

The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.

Have you ever noticed how all newspaper composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.

You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray. We miss you, James. Godspeed.

"Too many whites are getting away with drug use...Too many whites are getting away with drug sales...The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them, and send them up the river, too." Eight years later..."I am addicted to prescription pain medication."

He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act. This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting.

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.

This is a small sample, considering Rush adds to the list every day.

I'm vehemently against torture. But I would happily waterboard Rush any day.

fair skinned? embrace the pale!

2009-05-12T03:44:00.000+01:00

This weekend was pretty nice, huh? I could've done with a little less wind yesterday, but that is my only complaint about the weather.

Which is strange, because I can always find lots of weather-related crap to complain about.

So on Sunday, I broke out the sundresses for the first time this year. I picked a bright blue one and when I slipped it on, I realized just how pale I looked. My legs haven't been exposed to natural light in quite some time. I didn't even need to check myself out in the mirror. All I had to do was look down and see the huge contrast between my blue dress and my pasty white legs.

I actually have a spray bronzer for occasions such as these (where one finds themselves possibly in need of Vitamin D exposure). I picked up the bottle and was about to spray myself when I noticed my biopsy scar.

You know, the one I have from that cancerous mole.

I spent most of my life practically worshiping the sun. Yeah, all of those tans faded. But the feeling of finding out you had cancer at 27 because of all of that sun worshiping? That NEVER goes away.

You know what else doesn't go away? The anxiety you feel knowing that because you've had one cancerous mole, you're much more likely to have another.

Who am I kidding? Why do I want to look tanned? I wear SPF 30 every day. My complexion has never looked healthier. I'm the palest Mexican you'll ever meet.

Having darker skin than you were born with is not healthy. UV rays from sun exposure (and those fake and bake booths) have the power to change the genetic make-up of your cells. And once that genetic make-up changes, there's no turning back, there's no going back to normal. The sun does really scary sh*t to your body.

My skin is the whitest it's ever been. So, I'm embracing my pale. There is absolutely no shame in not getting cancer (again).

Image source: loopsandpluto.com

today is NOT mexican independence day, but go ahead and drink anyway

2009-05-05T14:07:00.000+01:00

Today, Mexicans (well just the ones in Puebla) commemorate the Mexican army's unlikely defeat of French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. People outside of Puebla will be using this 'holiday' as a reason to drink tequila and coronas (personally, I don't need a reason as these are my liquid vices of choice).

I will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo by going to see my shrink, which is definitely needed after...well, you know.

Two weeks ago, when we confirmed this visit, Dr. D asked me if May 5th would be a good day to meet.

Me: Sure. At least I won't forget the appointment. It's Cinco de Mayo.

Dr. D: Oh yeah. Do you want to schedule the appointment for a different day?

Me: Um. No. Why do you ask?

Dr. D: Don't you want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo?

Me: No, I don't really celebrate it.

Dr D: Really? But it's Mexican Independence Day!

Me: Actually, it's not. September 16th is Mexican Independence Day.

So eat (nachos), drink (margaritas) and be merry (by dancing to mariachi music), peeps. I like to think of today as the one day when my culture is universally appreciated and celebrated.

Even if it's under the guise of a Mexican holiday.

a week later and i'm still (fighting) mad

2009-05-04T18:18:00.000+01:00

This is my final post about my cousin.

I've yet to hit the sadness stage of grief. I'm still stuck on the anger phase. As I mentioned to a friend, I think I'm going to be in this anger phase for quite some time.

I thought I could get over it but burying myself in work. All I've done is stress myself out. This week, in particular, is going to be pretty crappy.

However, through all of this, I see my clients differently now. I don't feel more capable of helping them. Now, I feel as though I can really understand them.

Don't get me wrong. I've always been sympathetic. But now it's as if I know their traumas. I know their motivations (or lack of). I know their frustrations. And I know how a combination of all of these can result in tragedy.

The agency I work for is incredibly accepting. Latinos in the community know that they can walk through our front doors and not be judged by anyone inside. The gays and the straights have their support groups. ~~Transgender~~ Women know that this is a safe haven for them. We're all fighting the same fight. We don't have time to deal with stigma when people are getting infected every 9 and a half minutes. My workplace is a stigma-free zone.

I wish my cousin would've had the same resources that my clients do.

I see my cousin in some of my clients. The same stigma. The same fear. The many deterrents in seeking help.

I can't help my cousin any more. But I've still got a lot of other people to help.

*********

Speaking of helping others, Congresswoman Maxine Waters (of L.A.) has recently re-introduced the Routine HIV Screening Coverage Act (H.R. 822 in the 110th Congress). This bill would require health insurance plans to cover routine HIV tests under the same terms and conditions as other routine health screenings.

Rapid HIV tests are usually free or provided at a very low cost by community health centers. However, to provide an HIV test during a regular check up that also provides screenings for hypertension, diabetes, and cholesterol would NORMALIZE taking an HIV test for everyone. I'm all for including HIV tests as part of regular medical care. The goal here IS to get people to think of HIV tests as the usual fare during regular check-ups, to get them tested regularly without a second thought. Overall, it reduces the stigma of taking the test.

Plus, insurance companies would be footing the bill. What's not to like about that?

So PLEASE contact your congressperson and urge them to support this legislation!

Don't know how? This website can help.

AIDS: the family secret with a heavy cost

2009-04-29T03:00:00.001+01:00

I just found out my cousin has died of AIDS.

It was just a few years ago when he decided not only to come out to my sister and me but to also tell us that he was HIV positive. I'm not sure if I can accurately convey how brave he was to tell us.

He lived in a very rural area of Mexico. He was gay and knew it and the only people he confided in were his Chicana cousins. He reasoned that homosexuality was more accepted in the US so, of course, his family across the border would understand.

I did understand. I urged him to come to me if he needed anything, even if he just needed someone to talk to. It's what I tell all of my clients. Except he wasn't a client. He was my family.

He never did tell anyone about himself and he never did tell his family about the HIV. You just don't talk about those kinds of things in his small pueblo. If you did, you were banished from home and disowned by your family. My cousin had two options: he could either tell everyone and suffer alone or tell no one and live in shame.

AIDS took his life because he never sought treatment. If he had, the whole town would've known.

I am really hating myself right now. For chrissakes I help complete strangers with HIV! I should've done more for my cousin. Why didn't I do more?

I hate his home town. I hate the community he was in, the people he lived with. I hate the family members that lived in denial. HE WAS GAY! How could they not have known? If only my cousin had had the courage to come out. If only the community weren't so narrow minded. If only his family would've supported him had he come out.

He would probably be in treatment right now. He would probably still be alive. But instead he kept quiet.

His silence cost him his life.

I just don't get it. I can't make any sense of it.

Oh Perico. I wish you knew that there are people who love you and accepted you unconditionally. Where you are now, there is no such thing as shame or pain. There is only love and acceptance, much more than what you had here on earth.

I'm sorry our family failed you.

the party of no gets its just desserts

2009-04-27T16:37:00.000+01:00

We are approaching the mark of Obama's first 100 days in office and. Pretty soon, the media will be weighing in with report cards to grade not only Obama but Congress on what they've been doing since the new president was sworn in. Some news agencies are taking it straigh to the people in the court of public opinion. In a recent WaPo/ABC News poll, 69% of respondants approve of Obama as president. Almost 70% of people approve of what Obama is doing internationally, particularly with the war in Iraq. Nearly 60% of people polled approved of what Obama is doing for the economy. Congress as usual got low approval ratings, but the ratings were much lower for Republicans (45% for Dems vs 30% for GOP).

What I thought was particularly interesting was that the poll revealed that fewer people (than ever in the history of this particular poll) consider themselves Republican. Only 21% of respondants identified as such (vs. 39% for Dems).

I usually take polls with a grain of salt unless they tell me what I want to hear. Granted, the hardcore liberal in me is doing a little happy dance over this poll. Given the context of current events, I am completely not surprised by the results.

[Total aside, but I'm completely surprised that Obama got such high marks, especially in light of those tea parties (aka Obama hate fests) two weeks ago. This only goes to show what I've suspected all along--the crazies on both sides make the loudest noise.]

So, let's talk about how the GOP got here. Well, first off, there was 8 years of Bush 2. Then there was that whole 2008 election debacle, resulting in Democrat majorites in both chambers of Congress. And then there was the race for RNC chair (Michael Steele vs. the guy behind the 'Barack the Magic Negro song' and the guy who had been in an All-White country club but quit before running). And then there were Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh complaining up a storm, spreading their hate, and NOT OFFERING ANY SOLUTIONS. And then there were the Republicans in Congress, refusing to vote for anything Obama supported. And then the GOP governors started refusing stimulus dollars despite their states' rising unemployment rate. And then there was/is the use of those Karl Rovian scare tactics which most Americans seem to be immune to now.

And then there's this poll. Americans just said no to the Party of No.

I'm not going to put that much weight on this poll, but the truth cannot be denied--the GOP is on a decline. They are the Party of No, the party against change (and not just Obama's Change™ but any change). The party is led by a bunch of old white men (Michael Steele will not lead until he grows a pair) that refuse to change or adapt to the changing political landscape. The party is split in two: there's the Old Guard (led by Rush Limbaugh) and the New Guard (led by--dare I say it--Meghan McCain). And the Old Guard is currently in charge of the Party and refuses to listen to those young whippersnappers in the New Guard.

So how will the GOP change? The New Guard needs to find some strength (in numbers) and be heard.

If the GOP doesn't change? Well, then, the GOP presidential ticket in 2012 will be Palin/Limbaugh.

And, being the proud Dem that I am, I totally won't have a problem with that.

fun, frisky felines: hello? interwebz? iz me, GRACIE!

2009-04-24T16:13:00.000+01:00

Hello people out there!

It iz I, Princess Gracie! My mommy hooman has left dis thing with all the buttons to play with. Hmmm...I thought it wuz for sleeping, though? Oh wellz...

My mommy hooman tells me that Iz been in teh family for a year now and she iz very happy about that. I don't know what a year iz or why it iz important. She told me during breakfast that we are celebrating by going to teh V-E-T. What iz this V-E-T? Oh wellz...

Has mommy hooman told you how cute i iz? Iz very cute. Here, see for yourself.

I iz sleeping here.

I iz sleeping here too

I iz not sleeping here. But I iz sleepy.

Dis iz my favorite sleeping place.

I iz trying to eat mommy hooman here.

I iz here, smelling catnip for first time. Iz good quality catnip.

Here I iz with my friend Bobby. He iz much better than Nicky kitteh, Bobby letz me bite him and kick him.

Ok, so nowz you know how cute I iz.

I iz going to take nap nao.

Purrs,

PRINCESS GRACIE

et tu, washingtonian?

2009-04-23T16:27:00.001+01:00

It's the magazine cover ~~heard~~ seen around the world. Oh lordy. I'm so embarassed.

image courtesy of washingtonian.com

I was and still am an Obama supporter. However, this is our president! He's not a celebrity. First it was countless fluff magazine covers (fluff = In Touch Weekly, People, etc.) pre and post-election. Then it was the craziness over Bo, the family puppy (who already has several books in the works). And now this photo of the President on vacation after the elections is a magazine cover? And it's on the Washingtonian! I expect these shenanigans from People, not Washingtonian Magazine.

The celebrity worship of our President and his family (and the dog) must stop.

Pretty soon, we'll be seeing this headline in the tabloids:
Barack and Michelle: Trying for another baby!

Let the bumpwatch begin.

***************************
In other happier news, Bilbo from Bilbo's Random Thought Collection recently awarded me with the Blog Friendship Award!

I'm incredibly honored that Bilbo picked me for this distinction. If you haven't checked out his blog, you definitely should. His writing is excellent with just the right touch of snark. And he has this lovely feature called Cartoon Saturdays that is always good for a few chuckles. Plus, I've had the pleasure of meeting Bilbo in real life and he's extremely personable and funny. So, thanks, Bilbo! And, blog peeps, go read his blog!!!

The best thing about this award is that I get to give it to five other bloggers! Woot Woot.

Before I do, here is a description of the award:
"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to five bloggers who must choose five more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

Without further ado, here are five bloggers who I feel are worthy of this distinction:

Instatick from Questionable Rationale--I love her blog, she definitely speaks from the heart. We have such similar opinions that I think we share a brain. Plus, her doggie, Sadie, is the cutest!

Lexiloo from Tea and Crumpets--Lexiloo does an excellent job of engaging her readers in her blog which makes me want to come back and read more. Ha! I just said 'engaging.' Lexi and I have bonded over our mutual desire to get engaged to our significant others who may or may not be picking up on our signals. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you too, Lexi!

Zandria from, well, Zandria--I've met Zandria in real life and I have to say that she is just as pleasant in person as she is on her blog. Plus, she often follows up on my comments via email, which just makes her even more personable!

Mad from Diary of a Mad DC Cabbie--While I've never met Mad, he has been gracious enough to help me out with some things in real life despite not really knowing me. He may be ultra snarky but his blog signature ("Don't forget the homeless") and his actions indicate that he really is a nice guy after all.

Zipcode from Capitol Hill 20210--Zip has no problem speaking her mind and bearing it all on her blog. It's kinda cool to read someone's blog long enough to witness that blogger going through a personal journey of self-discovery. Her frankness is refreshing to say the least.

Well, there ya have it. Please go visit these awesome bloggers!

weirdest consequence of the patriot act EVER

2009-04-22T21:28:00.000+01:00

Jesse went to last night’s Nationals game (by the way, it figures that the one game I decide not to go to is the one game they happen to win) and had an interesting conversation with one of the concession stand employees.

It went a little something like this:

Jesse ordered a bottle of water. Concession stand employee (CSE) takes the payment and then gives Jesse the bottle. Jesse pauses.

Jesse: Um, aren’t you supposed to take the bottle cap off?

CSE: Oh. Oh yeah.

CSE takes the bottle back and removes cap.

Jesse: Hey, why do you take the bottle caps anyway?

CSE (with a straight face): Man, it’s because of the Patriot Act. You see, people make missiles and bombs with these things.

Jesse (confused): Huh. Ok.

Later, after Jesse tells me his story I tell him that I’m pretty sure they take the caps off of bottles at sporting events because throwing a bottle full of liquid at someone would hurt way more than throwing an empty plastic bottle at someone.

But what do I know? It's not like I'm some undercover employee for DHS working a night job at Nationals Stadium.

Meghan McCain is making waves in the GOP yet again

2009-04-21T19:53:00.001+01:00

Meghan McCain is making waves in the GOP yet again, this time with a speech to the Log Cabin Republicans at their recent annual convention. Meghan continued on her "GOP must change" campaign and repeated her socially progressive ideas. I certainly don't need any new reasons to like Meghan McCain. As a liberal, I love how she's leaning left socially and I especially love how she's stirring sh*t up in the Republican Party.

Meghan is to the GOP what Obama was to voters in the 2008 presidential campaign--CHANGE. However, this post isn't about that. I'm confused about something. At some point in her speech, she declared herself a 'pro-life, pro-gay marriage Republican'. But is she really pro-life?

In her Larry King interview (shortly after Laura Ingraham called Meghan 'fat'), she stated, "I personally am pro-life, but I'm not going to judge someone that's pro-choice. It is not my place to judge other people and what they do with their body." Hmmm.

In her speech to the LCR, she said, "I think government is best when it stays out of people's lives and business as much as possible."

I hate to break it to you, Meghan, but you're really pro-choice.

Pro-choice doesn't not mean pro-abortion. A LOT of us want to reduce the number of abortions. In fact, some of us would probably never elect to undergo an abortion (like me). While we may choose not to abort, we do not judge those who do. We believe that the government has no place in our private lives. We believe that when a woman finds herself pregnant, she has the RIGHT TO CHOOSE to keep the baby, give it up for adoption, or get an abortion.

People who get abortions are not baby-killers. Some elect to abort in the event of a rape. Some abort because their child has no chance of living more than a few days because of a degenerative condition. Others abort because they cannot afford to feed the children they already have. Still others abort when they are 9 years old and pregnant with twins because of a step-father's sexual abuse (I'm referring to that case in Brazil).

Meghan says that government needs to stay out of our private lives and she wouldn't judge people and what they decide to do with their bodies. That's basically standard pro-choice speak for defending our positions.

So, Meghan, it's ok to admit it. "Pro-choice" is not a dirty word. So what if you piss off a bunch of Republicans?

Clearly, you've already done plenty of that.

a funny thing happened on the way to a wedding in PA

2009-04-20T22:19:00.000+01:00

On Saturday, Jesse and I drove up to a very forest-y area of Pennsylvania for a wedding (one of Jesse's friends, of course). On 95 in Pennsylvania, I saw this ad:

It took me a second to realize that ONE, she wasn't flipping me off and TWO, it was an ad for a local jeweler.

As obnoxious as this ad looks, I can totally relate.

*sigh*

east vs. west: a tale of two baseball games

2009-04-17T16:12:00.000+01:00

I recently had the opportunity to attend two baseball games on opposite coasts within two days of each other. I'm a huge baseball fan so this really shouldn't surprise anyone. The first game I attended was on the 3rd at Angel Stadium, the first Angel game following the tragic death of pitcher Nick Adenhart. It was the first game of their series with the Red Sox, a rematch of last year's AL Championship.

The game was awesome but incredibly sad. Before the game, I visited the Adenhart memorial set up by fans right outside the main entrance. There were multiple Adenhart tributes before, during, and after the game. His image and number had been put up on the outfield wall and, on their way out to the field, players touched the image on the wall.

Needless to say, the Angels played some inspired ball. It was a great game, offensively and defensively. The Angels won and eventually took the series that weekend, 2-1.

I flew the red eye to DC Sunday night and got in Monday morning (the 6th). After a quick nap, Jesse and I headed to Nationals Stadium for the Nats home opener. The Phillies were in town and there were tons of Phillies fans there.

I like the Nats and want them to succeed but I will always be an Angels fan first. The Nats can be a very eye-roll-inducing team. There was a lot of offense in the game, but there were a couple of Nats errors that were a bit frustrating to watch. After a string of frustration, Jesse and I took a tour of the stadium to see what was new this year.

Besides the fun presidential bobbleheads and the addition of another Ben's Chili Bowl concession stand, there were these incredibly creepy looking statues. I think they were supposed to be old Senators players in motion. Well, it's really hard to recreate motion in a statue, but someone thought this would be a good idea. Maybe in theory. But in practice, we've got these monstrosities greeting you upon entering the main entrance:

Thankfully, I saw the presidential bobbleheads soon after that nightmarish sight.

The Nats eventually lost the game after a late rally fell short. I have a feeling it's going to be very long season for the Nats.

Maybe not for the Angels though...

probably the last thing i will say about the teabagging movement

2009-04-16T13:38:00.000+01:00

The picture speaks for itself.

Picture was taken at an OC Tea Party yesterday
Source: The Liberal OC

and a happy teabagging day to you too

2009-04-15T17:40:00.000+01:00

Today is tax day! My taxes are done (federal) and done (VA) and for the first time in years, I'm getting some moola back Woo hoo!

Anyhoo, all over the country, people will be staging tea parties (you know, like the Boston Tea Party of yore) and sending tea bags to the White House and Congress (aka, thanks to Faux News, as Teabagging). Apparently, people are sick of being taxed and paying for things they feel they shouldn't be paying for...like bailing out banks. They are also taking this opportunity to hate on Obama for his economic policies (have I mentioned that the bank bailouts started under Bush? did people forget that?) and using their money to expand *GASP* unemployment benefits and *GASP* medicare.

I'm all for free speech so I'm not going to knock this movement (I will question the people behind it, though). However, I am suspect of any movement promoted by Faux News*. Aren't they all fair and balanced? Why the hell is a 'news network' endorsing and promoting a movement, especially one titled the Teabagging Movement?

Conservatives are in on the joke, right?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

What is even more ironic than the name of the movement is the fact that the Teabagging Movement is being promoted and funded by Freedom Works and Americans for Prosperity. Quick google searches reveal that "While working to promote Social Security privatization, Freedom Works was caught planting one of its operatives as a "single mom" to ask questions to President Bush in a town hall on the subject. Last year, the Wall Street Journal exposed Freedom Works for similarly building "amateur-looking" websites to promote the lobbying interests of Dick Armey." Freedom Works is not the only suspect. According to Think Progress, "Americans for Prosperity is run by Tim Phillips, [a] former partner in the lobbying firm Century Strategies. The group is funded by Koch family foundations -- a family whose wealth is derived from the oil industry. Indeed Americans for Prosperity has coordinated pro-drilling 'grassroots' events around the country."

Privatizing Social Security? Promoting unnecessary drilling? Um, no thanks.

The funny thing is that the Teabagging Movement believes that we are Taxed Enough Already (hence, TEA). However, 95% of Americans will receive a tax cut in the next year if the upcoming Obama budget passes. Only Americans with incomes above $250,000 will receive a tax increase. You know, like those fat cat leaders of Freedom Works and Americans for Progress. Of course they don't want to pay higher taxes! Screw the middle and lower class! In fact, why don't they just trick the lower and middle classes into promoting their agenda...

If that's the case, I'd say that Freedom Works and Americans for Prosperity have done their job.

*I will stop bagging on Faux News the day they accept they are not fair and balanced.

i think i am officially not a dog person

2009-04-09T18:09:00.000+01:00

My sister's dog is out of control. Granted, Jenny is still technically a puppy. But she is constantly seeking attention, always trying to jump on top of you, always trying to lick you all over the place, and constantly sticking her snout where it doesn't belong.

Don't get me wrong. She's a cute little thing. But this dog graduated from obedience school! You would never know that upon meeting her. She has no idea what the word No means.

In my two days here, she has stolen my slippers, turning them into chew toys. She also stole one of my black flats. Fortunately, I caught her before she tore them apart (the shoe is fine, just slightly drooled on). She steals kleenex and loves to tear it to pieces, leaving her trail of destruction all over the house. Seriously, there are tiny pieces of tissue everywhere!

I don't know what it is. Am I just not used to living with a dog anymore? Or do I just prefer kitties to doggies?

You know, Nicky and Gracie aren't perfect. They get into their fair share of trouble. However, they have never ruined my shoes.

Last night, I had a dream that I was sleeping with my kitties. It felt so real that I was kinda bummed when I woke up and realized I was in my old bed in my old bedroom and Nicky and Gracie weren't there to wake me up.

I think I'm ready to go home now.

is l.a. the best city in the world?

2009-04-08T16:23:00.000+01:00

Yesterday morning, I flew to California for a work-related trip (and staying with my family for a couple of days). I flew direct to LAX. A few minutes before we touched down, the flight attendents announced that all electronic devices needed to be turned off for the remainder of the flight. Reluctantly, I turned off my iPod and became aware of a conversation going on behind me. Two 20-something guys were talking about the stuff they planned to do while in LA.

I started flipping through a magazine to help pass the time until I heard one of the guys say, "Dude, LA is the best city in the world."

OMG. Seriously?

I know I am quite West-Coast-centric. However, there is no way that LA is the best city in the world. It most certainly isn't the best city in the U.S. And I feel like I should know. I lived in LA for four years and, before that, lived in Orange County which is about an hour away. I think I know LA. And there is no way that LA is the best city in the world.

LA is quite the sprawling little mess. The traffic is horrific. You can't get around without a car. The beaches are ok (BTW, I think Venice Beach is the worst beach I've ever been to). Of all the major hangouts in the LA area, the major draw for about 95% of them is shopping (not that there's anything wrong with that--but, mentally, I need more than that). Oh...and the air quality! You can actually see what you're breathing.

LA is not all evil. The club/bar scene is awesome (although not for me anymore). Yes, the shopping is fantastic if that's your thing (well, it's my thing). I LOVE the diversity of the city. But, no, LA is not the best city in the world.

My international travel experience has been minimal at best. However, I've travelled the country a lot and been to quite a few major cities. I could think of a couple of U.S. cities off the top of my head that are better than LA--New York and San Francisco immediately come to mind.

I'd love to know what you think. Have you been to LA? Did you love it? What is the best city you've been to and why?

iowa supreme court shows U.S. that separation of church and state is not dead

2009-04-06T16:26:00.000+01:00

On Friday, the Iowa State Supreme Court ruled unanimously that the state's DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) is unconstitutional. After the seriously big downer that was Prop 8, this was the most awesome news in...well...since the California State Supreme Court upheld a law allowing same-sex marriage.

I actually read the decision Saturday morning. It's 69 pages. Hey, Nicky woke me up at 7 a.m. and Jesse doesn't usually wake up until 11 so I had plenty of time to kill. Allow me to summarize the ~~key~~ awesome points for you...

Regarding the plaintiffs: Like all Iowans, they prize their liberties and live within the borders of this state with the expectation that their rights will be maintained and protected—a belief embraced by our state motto (which is "Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain”).

The defense: The County offered five primary interests of society in support of the legislature’s exclusive definition of marriage. The first three interests are broadly related to the advancement of child rearing. Specifically, the objectives centered on promoting procreation, promoting child rearing by a mother and a father within a marriage, and promoting stability in an opposite-sex relationship to raise and nurture children. The fourth interest raised by the County addressed the conservation of state resources, while the final reason concerned the governmental interest in promoting the concept and integrity of the traditional notion of marriage.

The Court's rationale:

Among other basic principles essential to our form of government, the constitution defines certain individual rights upon which the government may not infringe. Equal protection of the law is one of the guaranteed rights. All these rights and principles are declared and undeniably accepted as the supreme law of this state, against which no contrary law can stand.

Our responsibility, however, is to protect constitutional rights of individuals from legislative enactments that have denied those rights, even when the rights have not yet been broadly accepted, were at one time unimagined, or challenge a deeply ingrained practice or law viewed to be impervious to the passage of time. The framers of the Iowa Constitution knew, as did the drafters of the United States Constitution, that “times can blind us to certain truths and later generations can see that laws once thought necessary and proper in fact serve only to oppress,” and as our constitution “endures, persons in every generation can invoke its principles in their own search for greater freedom” and equality.

No two people or groups of people are the same in every way, and nearly every equal protection claim could be run aground onto the shoals of a threshold analysis if the two groups needed to be a mirror image of one another. Such a threshold analysis would hollow out the constitution’s promise of equal protection. Thus, equal protection before the law demands more than the equal application of the classifications made by the law. The law itself must be equal. (argument against procreation as a requirement for marriage)

It is true the marriage statute does not expressly prohibit gay and lesbian persons from marrying; it does, however, require that if they marry, it must be to someone of the opposite sex. Viewed in the complete context of marriage, including intimacy, civil marriage with a person of the opposite sex is as unappealing to a gay or lesbian person as civil marriage with a person of the same sex is to a heterosexual. Thus, the right of a gay or lesbian person under the marriage statute to enter into a civil marriage only with a person of the opposite sex is no right at all. (discrimination based on sexual orientation is illegal in Iowa)

If the marriage statute was truly focused on optimal parenting, many classifications of people would be excluded (child abusers and sexual predators were given as examples), not merely gay and lesbian people (basically there is no fundamental difference in child-rearing between same sex couples and heterosexual parents.)

Oh and this is my favorite part of the ruling...

While unexpressed, religious sentiment most likely motivates many, if not most, opponents of same-sex civil marriage and perhaps even shapes the views of those people who may accept gay and lesbian unions but find the notion of same-sex marriage unsettling. Whether expressly or impliedly, much of society rejects same-sex marriage due to sincere, deeply ingrained—even fundamental—religious belief.

This contrast of opinions in our society largely explains the absence of any religion-based rationale to test the constitutionality of Iowa’s same-sex marriage ban. Our constitution does not permit any branch of government to resolve these types of religious debates. State government can have no religious views, either directly or indirectly, expressed through its legislation.

And the Pièce de résistance: As a result, civil marriage must be judged under our constitutional standards of equal protection and not under religious doctrines or the religious views of individuals...

A religious denomination can still define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, and a marriage ceremony performed by a minister, priest, rabbi, or other person ordained or designated as a leader of the person’s religious faith does not lose its meaning as a sacrament or other religious institution. The sanctity of all religious marriages celebrated in the future will have the same meaning as those celebrated in the past. The only difference is civil marriage will now take on a new meaning that reflects a more complete understanding of equal protection of the law.

Not much to say here. Basically the decision put forth by the Iowa Supreme Court is what I've been feeling all along. It's so nice to see my opinion defended by a legal entity.

So gays have just as much a right to get married as straights do? Wow. What a concept.*

Source: iowacourts.gov

* Yes, that was sarcasm.

pretty in pink (blossoms)

2009-04-06T01:44:00.000+01:00

From my trip to see the cherry blossoms yesterday:

For the full collection, check out the set on my Flickr page.

fun, frisky felines: post-surgery, nicky is now even more fun and frisky

2009-04-03T16:14:00.000+01:00

I don't know how this is even possible, but Nicky is SO much more frisky and affectionate post-surgery than pre-op. The thing is that he is already the type of kitty that craves attention, yells at you when you're not giving it to him, and climbs on top of you to force you to pet him. He's clingier now than he's ever been in the 15 months we've had him.

Granted, this is all a good sign since the vet had told us that he would probably hide from us for a day or two after surgery. Instead, Nicky's been Happy Kitty since Tuesday evening. Last night, his antics were particularly amusing.

There was the usual vigorous scratching post scratching.

And then, after a short break...

Nicky went postal on a string.

Gracie watched the craziness from a safe distance.

When I got close to access the kitty treats, Nicky dropped the string and decided to attack me (or rather, my pant leg).

Once he realized that I was going for the treats, Nicky jumped up to the top of the book shelf to get in my way

He snatched the treats from my fingers just as soon as I took 'em out of the bag.

I soon moved to the couch to give me some time to get treats for Gracie. Alas, Nicky followed me to make sure none of the treats went to her.

(the bald spot on his leg is from the surgery prep)

Poor little treat-less Gracie.

Nicky then proceeded to jump all over me in an effort to get treats. After a few seconds, I had had enough of his craziness. I sealed the bag and gave Nicky one last treat.

And when he finished eating it, he proceeded to lick my hand to get all the crumb-y treat remains

No, the friskiness didn't stop there. He ended up waking me up at 5 a.m. this morning to play. I'm sure he'll calm down once he reailzes he won't be going to that place where all the bad things happen (the vet's office) for a while.

He is gonna calm down, right?

spread the word to end the word

2009-04-02T18:05:00.000+01:00

When I was younger, I had a best friend whose sister was mentally challenged due to a brief cut off of oxygen at birth. On the outside, she was a happy, well-adjusted pre-teen. On the inside, she had the mind of a 5 year old.

She had a speech impediment, which made it difficult to understand her. However, over time and countless visits to my friend's house, I came to understand her speech better. Eventually, I was able to communicate with her without assistance (for me, not her) and she grew to like me a lot since I treated her as I would any other girl her age. When I looked at her, I saw my best friend's little sister, not the girl her classmates called "The Retard."

At an early age, I learned not to use that word casually as other kids my age did. I learned that it was inappropriate to say, "That's so retarded" or "So-and-So is such a retard." Whenever I hear someone use that word (even now), I can't help but wince. It's extremely offensive to me. Imagine how offensive that word is to someone who is mentally challenged.

By the way, in addition to the derogatory use of 'retard', I also can't stand when people use the word 'gay' as a synonym for 'lame' (i.e. "That's so gay!").

Probably triggered by Obama's Special Olympics gaffe on the Tonight Show a few weeks ago, the Special Olympics has started a campaign to rid the world of the inappropriate use of the word "retard" and its cousin "retarded".

And frankly, I'm all for a little bit of education and awareness. Especially if the goal is to eradicate ignorance.

what the world needs now is another pedro zamora

2009-04-01T16:54:00.000+01:00

No, I will not be watching the Pedro Zamora movie on MTV tonight. Frankly, the movie just won't do him justice. No film about his life could compare with the reality that he shared on the Real World San Francisco.

If anything good can come out of this movie, it is the collective realization that the world needs another Pedro Zamora.

AIDS and HIV look much different now than they did 15 years ago. Back then, you could tell that someone had AIDS just by looking at them. AZT was the preferred method of treatment. And the AIDS pandemic in Africa was just beginning. Now, you can't tell who has AIDS or HIV. There are countless treatments available, a heck of a lot better than AZT, that work in tandem to stop the proliferation of virus in the body. Nowadays people with AIDS live longer, unless you live in Africa. AIDS has completely and forever changed the African continent as the disease continues to spread.

The big difference between then and now is that people are far more complacent about the disease. You see, AIDS isn't so in-your-face now (Africa excluded). People go to see Rent now and the storyline is a total relic. They read And the Band Played On like a history text book. How can young people relate to an epidemic that once seemed frightening and unavoidable when they can't even see the epidemic now?

Back in the early 90s, like it or not, Pedro Zamora was the face of AIDS. He brought the disease down to a level that young people could understand. Here was a kid that looked like any other kid, but this kid was dying. Pedro's story itself probably prevented 1000s of HIV infections. His presence on the public stage that is the Real World humanized the disease. At the very least, he showed people that, yes, AIDS can happen to you. At the very best, he taught tolerance and understanding is needed for those living with AIDS.

Right now, we have a Pedro Zamora, but few people know who she is because she's not on a reality TV show. But by her example, she too is humanizing the disease. Her name is Damaries. She is a young Puerto Rican woman living in Miami who is spreading a message--AIDS can happen to anyone. Damaries is living proof of that. Acting the part of a faithful partner, Damaries contracted the virus through her fiance at the time. Although he has since passed away, Damaries is healthy and sharing her story with others to show everyone that one can never be too careful when it comes to HIV. She is also doing her part to help HIV positive people gain acceptance within the Latino community. The PSA below airs on Univision (the video is in Spanish with English subtitles; there is an English version but I couldn't find it).

Unfortunately, Damaries doesn't have the same exposure Pedro had, so her story isn't as far-reaching as his. And it's incredibly unfortunate. Despite the changes the epidemic has gone through, Pedro and Damaries' message is still relevant and IMPORTANT. The truth is that people are still getting HIV. And the truth remains that there is still no cure for AIDS.

Prevention is the answer. Sadly, I don't think everyone is listening.

i can't focus today and it's all nicky's fault

2009-03-31T14:53:00.001+01:00

So blog peeps, I had a post all ready for you today but it's going up tomorrow instead. The truth is that Nicky is spending the day at the vet today because he's having surgery. And he's all I can think about...

Isn't he silly? With his upside-down-ness and the little vampire teeth?

*sigh*

Anyhoo, please keep him in your prayers/thoughts today.

I will now go back to worrying excessively and being unproductive at work...

UPDATE: TO ALL WHO PRAYED OR THOUGHT OR MEDITATED--Nicky is going to be ok. The infection had spread, but only to a neighboring tooth, so the teeth had to go. The vet found another problem tooth and she tried to fix that. As of just a bit ago, he is up and about and charming the vet staff like the little cutie pie that he is. As always, thank you for your support!

the postsecret that led to an introspection and my own secret

2009-03-30T15:47:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, the boyfriend informed me that his parents were asking him to come to church with them again. That same morning, I had visited PostSecret (as I usually do on Sundays) and thought the post card above was particularly interesting. With the card in mind, I asked Jesse why he didn't want to go to church.

"I'm afraid I'm going to be brainwashed."

So I told him about the secret on PostSecret that I couldn't stop thinking about and he asked me, "Are you scared to go to church?"

It certainly is a valid question. When I first read the postcard, I immediately thought the person who wrote it might be afraid of going to church because a priest/minister had abused him/her. The beauty of PostSecret is that the cards can be interpreted in many ways and that was one way I interpreted it.

But when Jesse asked me if I was afraid to go to church, I had to seriously think about it. Am I afraid and, if so, what am I afraid of?

It's hard to believe (and some regular blog peeps might be shocked to hear) that I used to go to Mass every day. When I was younger, I would go to Mass with my mom first thing in the morning and she would drop me off at school right after. This stopped when I went to (my private, Catholic) high school, but even then, I would still go to church. There were mini Masses during lunch and I would often go then (maybe not every day but regularly).

That church-going past of mine seems a world away from the here and now.

I don't think I'm afraid of actually going to church. I think I'm afraid of the ramifications of going to church. I'm scared that I will sit there and actually listen to the Word of God with an open heart and open mind as I did when I was younger. That I will be reminded of Jesus and all that He did for the poor and for the sinners. That I will remember how the works of Jesus inspired me to help others, so much so that I made a career out of it. That I will be reminded that God loves everybody and for that He sent His only son to save us. That the process of the Mass and the interaction with the faithful would remind me of how innocent I was, when I believed everything that the Church taught.

Before I grew up and began to question everything.

Right now, the Church doesn't represent those things to me. Religion has been politicized and the Church has worked to dismantle the seperation between Church and State. Those few times I do go to church (when visiting my family), I sit there and listen to a politicized sermon about the immorality of gay marriage (or whatever the talking point of the month is). I watch the collection plate being passed around to help fund all those settlements for the victims of priest abuse. And then I realize that my closed heart is justified in not listening to the teachings of a priest who belongs to a Church that has not evolved.

The reality is that I have evolved and there is no place for me in the Church as it currently exists. But that doesn't mean I don't miss being the innocent, God-fearing girl I used to be.

fun, frisky felines: online kitty shopping addicts anonymous

2009-03-27T17:16:00.000+01:00

"Ok, let's go ahead and start the meeting. It appears we have a new member of the group. Let's all give her a warm welcome. Lizzie, would you like to tell us about yourself."

"Um, hi. My name is Lizzie. I live in Arlington. I am a proud parent of two adorable kitties. And, even though I love them more than words can say, I just can't help it. I'm always on the lookout for more.

"There's just SO many kitties out there that need good homes. And I WANT TO SAVE THEM ALL!!! The DC Craigslist Pet section is like crack to me. I check it all the time. I look at all the pictures of precious kitties just hoping to be adopted and I want to rescue them so bad.

"Like this one for example:

"She's gorgeous! And she's got her little white beard. Look at that shiny black coat! She looks like she could be related to my Nicky.
To adopt her, go here.

"And there's Joe. He's a tuxedo.

"He's being taken care of by Homeward Trails which is an excellent rescue that helped us adopt our adorable Gracie. Look at his little white paws. I just want to smooch his paw pads (after a bath, of course)
To adopt him, go here.

"And look at the face on this little orange tabby

Angelic, no?
To adopt him, go here.

"And then there's Molly who is a grey and white tuxedo:

"OH. EM. GEE. Want her...really bad.
To adopt Molly, go here.

"Check out this creamsicle kitty:

"He is totally nom-able. Look at that heart-shaped face!
To adopt him, go here.

"So yeah, I can't help but look for rescue kitties on Craigslist almost daily. One day, I know I'll adopt again, but until then, at least I have craigslist.

"My name is Lizzie and I am addicted to shopping for kitties online."

usc achieves dream school status

2009-03-26T16:44:00.000+01:00

The Princeton Review (you know, that beacon of college admissions guidance and the publication that tells us where the best party schools are) took a survey of prospective college students earlier this year and asked them and their parents a bunch of questions. The results were released yesterday. The College Hopes and Worries survey revealed the student and parent perspective of the college admissions process. But the only question that most interested me was:

What "dream" college do you wish you (your child) could attend if acceptance and/or cost were not issues?

And the survey results are:
Students                                                        Parents
1 Stanford University                                     Harvard College
2 Harvard College                                         Stanford University
3 Columbia University                                   Princeton University
4 Princeton University                                   Notre Dame
5 New York University                                  Yale University
6 Yale University                                          New York University
7 ~~UCLA~~                                                        ~~UCLA~~
8 MIT                                                          Duke University
9 University of Southern California                 USC
10 University of California - Berkeley             MIT

Yay! USC is now considered a dream school! And Notre Lame didn't even make the top 10 on the students list!

How odd. Apparently, I'm having trouble reading line 7.

Oh well. It can't be that important.

FYI: simulated explosion near key bridge today

2009-03-25T13:48:00.001+01:00

For those of you who haven't heard...

For the filming of a TV pilot, there will be a simulated explosion on Wednesday March 25 between 9:30 a.m. and noon near Key Bridge in the District. The explosion will produce a 20 to 30' fireball that will last for approximately 2 minutes.

Please pass along this information to others appropriate. The Department of Homeland Security and D.C. Police and Fire departments have been notified, along with the Washington Airports Authority. The Virginia State Patrol and Arlington Police Department will be contacted. If you have additional questions, contact Kathy Hollinger or Burt Warner with the DC Film Office at 202-727-6608.

The explosion will take place on the Potomac River just north of the Key Bridge and Jack's Boathouse (K / Water Street, NW under the Whitehurst Freeway). In the scene to be filmed, there will be six (6) sculling boats on the Potomac River and one of them blows up.

CBS Paramount television is filming a pilot titled "Washington Field." This is a new television series about the elite Washington field office of the FBI and a team of agents with exceptional and diverse skills who are called together for only the most critical cases.

SOURCE: DC's Office of Public Affairs

UPDATE: the title of this post has been modified so as not to create any panic.

new prez + change = science/politics*

2009-03-24T17:21:00.000+01:00

Last night, I was delighted to read that a federal judge ruled that the Bush administration was wrong and determined that Plan B (emergency contraception) should be available without a prescription to girls as young as 17. Ok, so the previous age was 18, but still! This is a big step in the right direction. Now, if we can just get Plan B to be truly available over the counter, as opposed to behind the counter and under the judgmental eyes of a pharmacy tech, everything would be awesome!

If you recall, Plan B was held up for OTC approval in the FDA by many Bush cronies who did not want this pill to be available to teens because of the potential for the creation of teen sex cults!!! No, seriously. That was one of the reasons. Their line of reasoning was that, with increased availability to Plan B, teens would not be able to control their raging hormones any longer and engage in wanton (unprotected) group sex and then pop Plan B pills like candy afterwards. This wasn't based on actual facts (naturally, this was the Bush Administration after all) or anything. In fact, studies showed that teens didn't engage necessarily in careless sex if Plan B was available to them. In fact, their sexual habits showed no change.

But we all know that the Bush administration was averse to science and research and facts (global warming is another great example).

After 8 years of anti-science crap, we now have a president who does not place politics over science. Last month, the new administration worked to remove one of Bush's last acts known as the Provider Refusal Rule. Essentially, the Provider Refusal Rule or "Conscience Clause" (was written to be incredibly ambiguous and open to interpretation on purpose) allowed for religious ideology in the clinical setting. Under the rule, workers in health-care settings -- from doctors to janitors -- can refuse to provide services, information or advice to patients on subjects such as contraception, family planning, blood transfusions and even vaccine counseling if they are morally against it.

For example, if a clinician felt uncomfortable providing birth control or a Plan B prescription or the HPV vaccine, it was within his/her right to refuse to provide it to their patients. The thing is that judgment has NO place in health care, especially religious judgment. If you have a problem dispensing birth control (but not Viagra), then don't be a pharmacist. Don't want to perform an abortion if the mother's life is in danger? Well, then maybe you shouldn't be an OBGYN.

It's the same thing outside of health care. Do you hate Latinos and think gays should burn in hell? Then you wouldn't want my job. So why was the health care field specifically targeted in the Conscience Clause? Because of abortion, of course!

As a public health geek, it is so refreshing to have a president who thinks sound science should be the basis for policy as opposed to religious ideology. The NY Times piece above quoted Dr. Susan Wood, former director of the Office of Women's Health at the FDA who resigned because she didn't want to be part of Bush's morality militia. She commented, "There is a new chance to restore the scientific integrity of the F.D.A.”

Oh God I hope so.

*the title should be read as: new president plus change equals science over politics.

excuse me, Ms. Palin? your hypocrisy is showing

2009-03-23T16:13:00.001+01:00

I'm sure you've all heard by now about Obama's really bad slip up during his Jay Leno appearance last week (something along the lines of insinuating his awful bowling scores would qualify him for the Special Olympics). *Heavy Sigh* Seriously, Obama knows better than that. Understandably, a public uproar ensued, with Conservative and Liberal pundits alike taking Obama to task for the offense.

Naturally, Sarah Palin had to put in her two cents. On Friday, a day after Obama's comment was heard, Palin commented,

“I was shocked to learn of the comment made by President Obama about Special Olympics, This was a degrading remark about our world’s most precious and unique people, coming from the most powerful position in the world.”

I believe that actions speak louder than words. Let's take a look at what Palin's done for the "world's most precious and unique people."

In 2008, Ms. Palin vetoed $275,000 in Special Olympics Alaska funds. Source (from the AK gov't)
Palin has decided to join the other GOP governors in rejected some of the stimulus money. Among the funding she has decided her state doesn't need: $170 million for education, including money that would go for programs to help economically disadvantaged and special needs students. Source
While there is certainly a national dearth of special education teachers, Alaska is particularly hard hit. They are having a difficult time keeping their special education teachers and enrollment in training programs in special education has fallen over the last few years. Source (from the Alaska DOE)

(what is going on with the space here? damn you, blogger!)

Ms. Palin belongs to the party that brought us No Child Left Behind. In regards to NCLB and special education, students with learning disabilities are expected to read, do math, and understand science at the same grade-level proficiency as non-learning disabled students no later than 2014. That's because the NCLB's expectations of special ed students is the same as those without learning disabilities. And that makes sense because...? Source (from Washington State study)

As a huge supporter of creationism, Palin knows the Bible well, right? Isn't it in John 8:7 where we find this passage--"let he who is without sin, cast the first stone"?

Ms. Palin, you are in NO position to be casting stones.

For the neocons who are wondering what Obama has done, last month he doubled funding for IDEA

fun, frisky felines: "the bf's back and you're gonna be in trouble"

2009-03-20T14:48:00.001+01:00

Jesse's been gone all week and, frankly, the week has been pretty difficult, emotionally (can you believe I didn't blog about it until now?). It has been a while since he last travelled for work and I was so used to having him around all the time. And then he just leaves and...you know me and my separation anxiety.

Nicky, who also suffers from anxiety (no really, he does. I have the kitty prozac prescription to prove it), apparently picked up on mine and was a total scaredy cat this week. There has been a lot of remodeling going on in my building this week, which triggered the fire alarm our second night without Jesse. While Gracie happily waited to be placed in her carrier for the evacuation, Nicky REFUSED to come out from under the bed and gave me a panic attack.

I never left the condo that night. Lucky for us, there wasn't a fire.

Still, Nicky and I coped together. Nicky slept on Jesse's half of the bed every day and when Nicky wasn't waking me up in the a.m. with his kisses, I would wake up and catch him resting his little head on Jesse's pillow. Even Gracie joined in on the bedtime bonding, which is rare. She likes to sleep in the bathroom sink.

Anyhoo...I can't wait for Jesse to come home so I can feel complete. *sigh*

OH WAIT! This blog post is supposed to be about kitties.

Here you go:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

This is what will happen when I pick up Jesse from the airport today.

I wish you all a love-filled weekend!

Today's blog post title is brought to you by the song, My Boyfriend's Back by the Angels

3%? really? well, color me unsurprised

2009-03-19T17:40:00.000+01:00

On Monday, the DC Department of Health released its 2008 HIV/AIDS epidemiology report and the results created quite an uproar in the District. The report shows that DC has an HIV/AIDS prevalence rate of 3%, which is higher than the HIV/AIDS prevalence in West Africa.

While the rest of the city was up in arms and asking the DC HIV/AIDS Administration (HAA) how could they have let this happen, I shrugged my shoulders and went about my work. To me, the news wasn't particularly shocking. I've read the whole report (managed to read all 80 pages while commuting on the Metro this week) and nothing in it was news to me.

The fact is that those of us on the front lines already know that this city has a major HIV/AIDS problem. Maybe those of us in the field have become very jaded with whatever HAA puts out there. HAA has certainly let us down in the past.

HAA could've done something to prevent this awhile ago and they definitely should've seen this coming. But HAA has a reputation of...well...not doing enough (to put it mildly). HAA cannot even collect the right data, enough data, relevant data, and has even UNDERREPORTED the number of AIDS deaths for about 10 years. The lack of accurate data has led to the loss of millions of dollars in funding--funding that could be used to develop and execute effective prevention strategies.

From an epidemiological perspective, accurate data is of utmost importance in accessing an epidemic. How else would we know what populations are most effected, what risk behaviors are HIV+ people engaging in, what neighborhoods are hit hardest, etc.? HAA has seen many incompetent directors come and go over the years and the current director, Dr. Shannon Hader, has her work cut out for her. Not only does she have to deal with the crap left behind by previous directors who had no idea what they were doing, but she also has to deal with the crisis we are experiencing now (she's like Obama but on a smaller scale).

I have a bit of a soft spot for Dr. Hader. She's a public health nerd (or so I've read) so she has to know how important accurate record keeping is. Dr. Hader's got a long way to go, but I believe that she is capable of turning things around at HAA.

But she's got to act quickly. Thanks to this epidemic, time is a luxury we don't have.

memo to the pope: ummm, you're NOT helping!!!

2009-03-18T15:40:00.001+01:00

I've been a lapsed Catholic for quite some time (as you all know by now from my constant complaining). And one of the many reasons why I'm dissatisfied with the Church is the Vatican's stance on condom use to prevent HIV.

Most of us know why the Church feels that condoms are bad. If you don't know, sex is for procreation purposes ONLY and anything that prevents procreation from happening is wrong (except for the rhythm method, which is ok, even though it allows Catholic partners to have sex for the purpose of intimacy and NOT procreation, but whatevs. Cognitive dissonance is the Church's MO).

The keys to HIV prevention, according to the Church, is to be abstinent and to be faithful to your partner. The abstinence requirement is laughable, seeing as that some priests couldn't keep it in their pants when abusing children. If these men of God cannot be abstinent, how are mere mortals expected to be? The faithfulness requirement is noble. Really it is. However, what are you to do if your partner is unfaithful and you don't know it or you do know but you're a woman in a patriarchal society therefore you can't speak up? Hey, if he's cheating on you with the sex workers on his truck route (and doesn't use condoms since they are bad) and brings the virus into your bedroom, apparently, you are SOL. So if abstinence isn't possible, and your partner is unfaithful, what does that leave you with? Hey, Church, is there a plan C? If plan A and plan B don't work, where is that Plan C to make sure the Church is SAVING LIVES?

*crickets chirping*

That's what I thought.

Ok, moving on, the Pope was on his way to Africa yesterday (Cameroon, maybe) and reporters were allowed on Pope Force One to answer questions that had been submitted for approval prior to the trip (naturally). Pope Benedict declared that the Catholic Church is in the forefront of the battle against AIDS. (hahahahaha...OMG, that's a good one...oh wait, the Pope is serious?)

He then followed that ~~joke~~ declaration with, "You can't resolve (the AIDS problem) with the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, it increases the problem."

Whaaaaa??? So not only are condoms bad, but they also help spread the disease?

I'd like to refer the Pope to these studies on the effectiveness of condoms in preventing HIV transmission: 1997 , 2000 , and 2002.

I'm not surprised that the Pope would make such a statement. However, I am appalled that he would do this on his way to Africa. Two-thirds of the world's HIV cases are in Africa alone. Africans make up 75% of the world's AIDS deaths. The only place where Catholicism is actually growing is Africa (they might want to look into why their numbers are dwindling elsewhere). More Catholics = more people to influence. There are some countries in Africa with double digit HIV prevalence rates.

There is already so much stigma about condom use in Africa. The leader of the Catholic Church preaching lies about condom use doesn't help matters. If using them is seen as negative and then the Pope tells you that condoms actually help spread HIV, what is the motivation to use one?

You know what I would like to see? I would like for the Catholic Church to take a small village in Africa and test their Plan A and Plan B (by the way, all of Uganda did this, but they had a C, condoms, and the combined strategy helped lower the HIV prevalence there). I want them to study these people and take relevant data on a regular basis. And then after three years of tracking, I want them to see how their plan didn't work. That a lot of their subjects got infected. That unmarried people kept having sex but didn't use condoms since they think condoms help spread HIV. That married couples sometimes were unfaithful and brought the virus to their unsuspecting partner.

And then I want the Church to realize that their methods are to blame for the eventual deaths of their subjects because they didn't speak the truth about condoms.

What the Church needs to realize is that the HIV/AIDS epidemic is not a moral issue. It's a public health issue. And you, Pope with all of your lies refuted by Science, are not a public health expert.

UPDATE: Apparently, I'm not the only one mad at the Pope. The whole HIV field is up in arms. Oh and the NY Times put the Pope on blast today.

UPDATE 2: Wanna do your part to help fight HIV in Africa? Please consider donating to FHI, an agency that uses scientifically proven methods to fight HIV, TB, and malaria in developing countries.

i hate myself for liking meghan mccain

2009-03-17T15:54:00.000+01:00

It's not often that I admire a Republican for...well...anything really. So, I'm actually quite shocked to find myself liking Meghan McCain more and more.

I love a good political debate with the other side. However, I can't get into a good debate with most of the Republicans I know (note that I mention the ones I know; I'm aware that not all Republicans are like this) because they simply repeat the party talking points or they repeat often-misleading garbage that comes out of the pundits' mouths or they repeat whatever they hear on Faux News (you know, that bastion of honesty and balance on cable TV). I want to debate a Republican that can think for him/herself and believes in what he/she says with passion. I don't want to hear that Obama sucks because he shouldn't even be president due to the fact that he wasn't born here (I'm curious. Is Faux still pushing that BS? If not, why am I still hearing this crap?)

So then I start reading Meghan's postings on the Daily Beast (I read her personal blog once and found that all of the comments in the one post I read were complimentary to Meghan and her dad, which led me to believe that comments were moderated and only the ones that agree with Meghan were allowed on the blog). Holy crap, she sure is smart and articulate. At once, I think Dude, I would love to pick her brain. After reading more of her stuff, I realize that I can't debate Meghan because I already agree with most of what she says.

Which is strange for me. I mean, how often do I find myself agreeing with a Republican?

Personally, I think Meghan is more of an Independent than she realizes. I get that she wanted to support her father in the campaign, but she supports stem cell research and gay marriage. She's most certainly a little left on the social side. To be honest, I don't know about her stance on fiscal issues. Yeah, she obviously supports the military, but I don't think the GOP has a monopoly on this.

Regardless of her true political affiliations, she has made some great points as far as what the GOP needs to do to stay relevant. Look, I get that they are the party without a unifying message or leader (ummm...Rush is anything but unifying) at the moment. But honestly, now is the time for a makeover.

Meghan wrote a thoughtful piece on how the GOP needs to jump on the internet bandwagon. I mean, no sh*t. This is how you reach young people with your message. The Obama campaign used and abused the internet. His message was everywhere. The campaign even had its own personal 'myspace' type of thing, where volunteers could connect with other volunteers to organize grassroots efforts. As a frequent user, I found it awesome to connect with people who believe what I believe in and had the passion to act on behalf of those beliefs.

Recently Meghan wrote the now controversial piece on how Ann Coulter sucks (no, that's not the title, but the gist of the piece). She writes about how dangerous it is that Ann Coulter is the face of the GOP (personally, I think Rush is more detrimental). Because of her extreme views and the GOP-ers that sing her praises, she is alienating potential Republicans. With Ann, it is such an 'us vs. them' mentality at a time when the GOP needs to be more inclusive.

So here is Meghan, a young woman who can eloquently describe the issues within her own party and what must be done to gain prominence once again. And what does the GOP do? Well, conservative blow hard Laura Ingraham calls her fat. Rather than get into a thoughtful debate with Meghan, she labels her as a hater whose fat (and Laura's not the only one; go to her Daily Beast postings and read the comments about how Meghan is stupid and fat). Really? That is the extent of intelligent discourse in the GOP these days? See? It's an 'us vs. them' mentality (and sexist too, seeing as that intelligent women are being told to shut up).

And therein lies the problem. And as a proud Dem, I'm pretty happy to see the infighting in the GOP. But I can definitely appreciate what Meghan is trying to do.

Lucky for us libs, the GOP isn't listening.

fun, frisky felines: who is this cat & what has she done with the real gracie?

2009-03-13T16:10:00.000+01:00

Gracie is our little diva kitty, which means that she is aloof almost all the time and expects us to cater to her every desire. She only likes to be petted when she wants to be. If you pet her when she's not in the mood, she looks at you like "I hate you so much right now that I plan to kill you in your sleep." She doesn't kill us because who else would make sure she has food in her bowl or feed her treats nearly daily?

Our only purpose in Gracie's life thus far is to feed her and clean the litter box. It's fine with Jesse and me because we have Nicky. Nicky, aka The Most Perfect Kitty Ever, is an excellent balance to Gracie's aloofness since Nicky always likes to be in our business.

Except lately Gracie's been different. I'm not sure what it is to tell you the truth. She's approaching her one year anniversary with us and maybe she's finally starting to treat us like family? I don't know.

Gracie's MO has been to only be nice to us when she wants something. Lately, Gracie has been nice to us nearly all the time.

When I come home, she makes a big to-do about my presence. She greets me at the door. Then she follows me to the bedroom and just sits on the bed and waits for me to pet her and give her eskimo kisses.

And then I go to the bathroom to freshen up after a long day.

(by the way, ACT is an excellent mouthwash)

Sometimes, I do additional things in the bathroom (often involving the toilet) and Gracie still waits.

I then feed her and one would expect her to stop being so clingy after that. But no. Soon after she eats, she comes over and wraps herself around my legs and starts to purr (she is not the purring type). It's almost as if she's thanking me for feeding her.

And despite having fed her (basically giving her what she wants), she still wants to be around me. WTH. That is so not like her. She naps when her belly is full. Instead of napping, last night she watched me work out on the Wii.

I'm a little weirded out by the fact that she is so sweet and affectionate now. But she's always been a strange kitty, I guess.

For all I know, she may be trying to lower our defenses in her plot to kill us all in our sleep.

how to make sure you don't get hired

2009-03-12T16:42:00.000+01:00

I'm still in the middle of filling the vacant position on my team. As I had previously mentioned, I had a ton of candidates apply and it took a while to go through all of those applications.

I've done many interviews, most of them over the phone (the last phase is a panel interview and only a handful of candidates get to this point). The phone interviews have been interesting...

Before I asked a question, one candidate asked me "How much does this job pay?" even though the salary range is in the job description. When I told her, she said, "Nuh-uh, that's not enough for me." Click.

Another candidate told me that he wanted to work with clients who weren't challenging. Ummm...we work with addicts at risk for HIV (although it is incredibly rewarding work, it is almost always challenging). Clearly people aren't reading the job description.

One candidate spent most of the phone interview trashing her current employer. Not only was that unprofessional, but unfortunately for her, it is an agency we work with all the time.

When I asked another candidate what her greatest strength was, she replied, "Well, as you can see on my resume, I don't like to be at a job for more than a year because I get bored and I think that gives me lots of variety." At that point, I understood why she hadn't dated her work experience on her 4 page resume.

Don't think that the candidates who made it to the panel interview were all angels though.

One of the candidates didn't even show up for his interview. Eh. It happens. I get that people are looking for jobs out there and will take the first one offered. However, before burning a bridge, wouldn't it have been mature of him to just call and let us know?

This one totally took the cake though. Another candidate, on being asked about her experiences working with the Latino community, said "there's friction between Latin Americans and Central Americans and everyone knows that Latin Americans are better."

Ummm...my parents are from Mexico. It's best to avoid insulting the interviewer who could be your future boss. (By the way, much more was said about this topic that was more insulting than the above statement.)

I can't wait to fill this position. And for the sake of sanity, I do hope it's sooner rather than later.

happy national women and girls HIV/AIDS awareness day!

2009-03-10T18:28:00.000+01:00

There are actually two exciting things being recognized today. First off, today is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Today is also National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers. I was really torn about what to discuss on the blog on this dually important day but in the end, I stuck with what I do--HIV/AIDS work. However, feel free to hug your local Planned Parenthood employee today!

A lot of times you hear that women are becoming more and more at risk for HIV, not just in the US but worldwide. In 2005, 27% of all HIV/AIDS cases were women. All preliminary research is showing that this number is increasing at an alarming rate. Even worse than that is how prevalent the virus is among women of color. Of all women with HIV/AIDS, black women were disproportionately effected. The rate of AIDS diagnosis for black women was approximately 23 times the rate for white women and 4 times the rate for Hispanic women. The most common form of transmission for all women is high-risk heterosexual sex. The sad thing is that these women can protect themselves by using condoms. However, especially in the developing world and particularly with male-dominant cultures, the use of condoms are not up to the women and they end up putting their health and, ultimately, their fate in a partner's hands.

However, there is hope! For those women who find it impossible to negotiate condom use with a partner, there will be a solution (hopefully soon). That solution is microbicides.

Long time readers of this blog might remember that I've talked about this issue before (in a post about Obama's support for the Microbicide Development Act). Microbicides have been in development for a while. Most of the research is going on in other parts of the world. This is mostly due to the lack of funding, although Bill Gates' support (and money) has definitely been making a difference in the last few years.

A microbicide is a gel that is applied topically to the skin of the vagina or anus that blocks the virus from infecting the body. Even a microbicide that is 25% effective would be helpful in reducing the spread of HIV among women. Any protection is better than no protection. Obviously the ideal microbicide would be more effective than that and could work as a contraceptive as well. Also, the ideal gel would be discreet and not interfere with intercourse in a negative way (ie. you shouldn't feel it nor should it diminish sexual pleasure).

Within the past few weeks there has been a great advancement. Previous clinical trials (including one testing the effectiveness of lemon juice as a microbicide) have thus far produced negative results (by the way, lemon juice should never be applied to one's genitals). However, the results of one clinical trial reported last week indicates that a combination of two microbicides proved effective in reducing HIV infection. It's effectiveness was 30% This is an excellent start.

Additionally, another study found that a microbicide devised from KY jelly was effective in blocking SIV in primates (SIV is often considered the predecessor to HIV as it is the primate equivalent to the virus). This was however a small trial (I think maybe 5 monkeys were tested). A larger sample would need to be used. Still, the results are promising.

The search for an HIV vaccine has been completely fruitless so there is a lot of hope for microbicides. However, research that includes clinical trials take several years so it may be a while before an effective microbicide is developed and mass-produced. While the search for a microbicide has taken over a decade thus far, current research shows that an effective microbicide is imminent.

And those of us in the HIV world are waiting with bated breath.

being the typical Libra that i am...

2009-03-09T17:08:00.000+01:00

Things that made me happy this weekend

Finding out that Obama lifted the funding restrictions on stem cell research
Cuddling in bed with Jesse and the furbabies
Gracie, my silent diva kitty, meowing loudly at me TWICE!
Getting tickets to see the Angels play the Red Sox at Angel Stadium
Working out on the Wii Fit and finding out I lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks (I heart u, Wii Fit!)
Finding out that Obama may throw out the first pitch on Opening Day at Nats Stadium
Getting tickets for the Nats on Opening Day
Hanging out with friends
Going shopping at DSW
Finding out that my BFF Kattie is coming to visit me this summer (I hope she knows that I cannot be held responsible for my kitties' behavior during her stay)

Things that made me mad this weekend

My GPS telling me to make a left when I should've made a right
Getting cut off exactly 3 times between Rt. 50 and home (the distance between the 2 is very short)
Braking hard because some out of state driver freaked out over the Mixing Bowl (VA's equivalent of the Orange Crush in OC).
Finding out that Angels tickets prices have increased
Paying extra for Angels tickets even though they let go of my favorite player, Garrett Anderson
Being told by the Wii Fit that I am 'unbalanced'
My home internet being down nearly ALL WEEKEND LONG (was up long enough to buy tix)
Reading about how the Vatican thinks the washing machine did more to liberate women than the feminist movement
Reading criticism of Michelle Obama and her arm-bearing ways
The loss of one hour of sleep

I think this means I had a perfectly balanced weekend.

dc councilwoman wants to leave city in the dark, let crime run rampant

2009-03-05T21:47:00.000+01:00

So, I'm sitting in the chair of doom at the dentist this morning and I'm trying SO hard to pay attention to the TV screen on the wall so I could ignore the pain I'm feeling. Fortunately for me, not long after my dentist started doing her thing, the following story was being reported on ABC 7:

D.C. Councilwoman Introduces Legislation to Dim Street Lights

Before I rushed to judgment, I just wanted to know what this was all about. Apparently, it's about "the view of the natural beauty of the night sky". And maybe the environment. Oh and don't forget the cost savings.

Councilwoman Cheh, with all due respect, should you really be thinking about how you can't see the stars at night when you're a DC resident? I love Earth and I hope it exists for a long time, but there are a bunch of other things you should be creating effective legislation for. You know, like the homelessness problem we have or the HIV epidemic or THE CRIME. Crime will increase if the lights are dimmed or whatever ridiculous thing you want to do them.

Here's the thing. I'm not be a city resident, but I work here. And that man who was shot in Columbia Heights recently was shot at 7:30 pm, shortly after they stopped turning on the 'light towers' that were put in place after the last shooting. You know what time I leave work? 8 PM (3 days out of the week). Where do I work? Columbia Heights. So those light towers that actually really lit up the intersection where all of this crime is happening? They were useful. Light = less crime.

If you want to see stars, move to Virginia. They are lovely out there.

on breaking the cycle of abuse and dating violence

2009-03-04T16:36:00.000+01:00

In case you haven’t heard, Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend Rihanna at a pre-Grammy party last month. The media has been all over this story like flies on fresh poop and have unearthed (or made even more public) a few details that may or may not be relevant to this story and that may or may not be true.

Chris Brown’s stepfather used to beat his mother and Brown witnessed this. After seeing his mother suffer, he vowed that he could never do that to a woman (until he did).

In an interview with Giant , Chris Brown discussed the issue of his stepfather’s abuse: “…an 11-year-old Brown made a promise to his mother. He vowed that he would go to jail by age 15 for killing his abusive stepfather. "I just want you to know that I love you," he told her. "But I'm gonna take a baseball bat one day while you at work, and I'm gonna kill him."”

On the evening of the incident, Rihanna was allegedly upset with Chris Brown because she saw him flirting with Leona Lewis. She went batsh*t crazy on him and he went batsh*t PHYSICALLY crazy on her.

On the day of the incident, Chris Brown found out that Rihanna had herpes and had passed it on to him. That evening, he went batsh*t PHYSICALLY crazy on her.

Allegedly, they are both hotheaded and this stuff happens all the time.

For me, the story is simple. Chris Brown beat up Rihanna. That is not acceptable, no matter the rationale.
Yet, public opinion is actually split about this. I’ve read many blog threads and blog posts (no, I will not link and increase their traffic) where people, some of them women, are suggesting that Rihanna deserved the beating because she must have done something to provoke it. I do not understand this line of thinking on any level, so if you think Rihanna deserved this, feel free to explain yourself in comments. Seriously, I do want to understand this point of view but I can’t.

I was raised to believe that domestic violence is wrong. My grandparents on my mom’s side had a rocky relationship. It all started when my grandfather started drinking. Whenever he drank to the point of intoxication, he would beat my grandmother while my mom and her sisters watched. Luckily, my mom herself was not beaten by her father. But obviously, the abuse left quite the impression on my mom.

Fortunately for me, my mom taught me that abuse is never acceptable and to watch for warning signs. My mom herself is quite the strong woman and (for better and for worse), I am very much like her in many ways. Neither of us takes crap from anybody. If a boyfriend or someone I’m dating even says something that remotely can be interpreted as a putdown, I call him on it to make sure it doesn’t happen again (for the record, Jesse is the best boyfriend ever and has never put me down).

Thanks to my mother, I’ve been taught that abuse is wrong in all circumstances. Unfortunately, some parents haven’t done such a good job of teaching that lesson to their kids.

In an article in the Chicago Tribune shortly after the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident, teenagers pretty much put the blame on Rihanna and claimed that dating violence is normal. The whole article is definitely worth reading (if you haven’t already; it’s all over Google) but here are a few gems:

Ed Loos, a junior at Lake Forest High School, said a common reaction among students to Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rihanna goes something like this: "Ha! She probably did something to provoke it."

"People said, 'I would have punched her around too,' "

"There was a girl at school this week with a scratch on her eye," Jackson said. "She was talking openly about her boyfriend hitting her, but she was smiling and saying it was funny."

No, abuse is not funny, it is not acceptable and it should not be commonplace. WTF.

I don’t mean to get all “public health” on you peeps again, but these kids need some education on how violence is never ok under any circumstances. We are in a critical position right now. Two very famous young people have brought this issue onto the front pages of newspapers, magazines, and blogs. Now is the time to educate future generations about abuse and how it is NOT acceptable.

If this continues and nothing is done to set these kids straight, you better believe that the cycle of domestic violence will continue. Doing nothing would ensure that dating violence will truly become commonplace for many years to come.

For more information on dating violence, check out Break the Cycle and Love is Not Abuse

is it june 14th yet?

2009-03-03T02:44:00.003+01:00

June 14th cannot come soon enough. Why? Because Jesse, Zipcode, and I will be at the best concert ever!

I will absolutely DIE if the following songs are not performed that day:

I know it's a Gwen song, but I wouldn't mind hearing this song live again...

fun, frisky felines: oh how i miss my little angels!

2009-02-27T16:23:00.000+01:00

As stated in an earlier post, things have been a little rough lately. I've been coming home late from work and I have such little energy that I haven't had time to play with my furbabies. I basically get home, pet the kitties for a bit, eat dinner and then go to sleep. A month ago, before the sh*t hit the fan of my life, I would come home from work and play with the kitties, eat dinner, play with the kitties even more and then go to sleep, usually with Nicky by my side.

Well, I'm happy to announce that I finished both of my reports yesterday and I think I found my new staff person after doing a bunch of interviews this week! Yay! As a reward to myself, I'll be leaving work early today to play with my angels (by the way, when I informed my staff about my short Friday, their reponse was, "You've been looking really tired").

Before the month from hell, I had lots of play time with the kitties, which gave me the opportunity for some really great photos.

Here's Nicky (and his trademark caught-in-the-headlights look) with his Wubba (it's a soft toy with catnip inside)

Here's Gracie, clearly exhausted from a little play time, laying on Jesse's shirt (the kitties like to sleep on things that smell like us)

At this point, Nicky comes over and wants to sleep on Jesse's shirt too.

As you can see, Gracie is not too please with Nicky's presence.

Eventually, she realizes that Nicky will keep her extra warm so she's ok with sharing with him

Aren't they cute??

Have a wonderful, stress-free weekend, peeps!

why religion is starting to scare me

2009-02-27T00:01:00.000+01:00

As you know by now, I'm a lapsed Catholic with lots of issues and concerns with the Church which I often blog/rant about here. In a nutshell, the teachings of the Church basically go against many of my values and beliefs. So if I am going to go to hell because I help people by teaching them that condoms should be used to prevent HIV infection or that I love my gay friends unconditionally and believe they should get married, then, Satan, here I come!

I've blogged before about the boyfriend's parents wanting to join their church, which is not something I want to do (nor the BF for that matter). His parents have invited us many times and we've refused for x, y, and z reasons. But the last effort to get us to join was not too long ago and the BF's dad had told us that we should go because something special was going to happen that particular Sunday and he wanted us to be a part of it.

Well, apparently we missed the Big Church Recruitment Day! It's too bad we missed that. (/sarcasm)

While I was willing to go to this church in order to please the BF's parents, I'm certainly not willing to do so after I heard this story from the BF's dad:

The BF's dad, who has a bachelors and a masters, owns his own business, and is an otherwise sensible man, has decided that the theory of evolution is a hoax. Why? Because the church pastor told him so.

I'm shocked that a pastor has so much influence over his congregation. I seriously doubt this man has a PhD in biology. The pastor shouldn't be talking about things he's not familiar with.

What's even more depressing about the BF's dad's sudden change of mind, is that a Gallup poll was conducted on Charles Darwin's 200th birthday (which was earlier this month) and found that only 39% of people surveyed believe in evolution. Poor Darwin probably rolled over in his grave.

The poll results show that religious people are least likely to believe in evolution. .

Evolution is a fact supported by evidence. Its root is the concept of natural selection--that favorable traits are more often passed on from generation to generation than unfavorable traits. How else do you explain how the modern bird evolved from dinosaurs? (This is Evolution 101 here. I'm aware that this paragraph has not done the theory any justice)

Is it impossible to believe in both evolution and creationism? No. When I was a practicing Catholic, I didn't think the bible was meant to be taken literally (well, I still don't. After all, it was written by tons of people, none of whom were perfect). I believed that God created that which, through the process of evolution, became the world as we know it today. I don't know what "that" is. But it certainly wasn't humans as they are now because humans did not exist during the dinosaur era (contrary to what Sarah Palin believes). And I believed that God created that which eventually became dinosaurs.

Still, it upsets me how easy it is for religious people to dismiss science. Where would we be without science? We'd still be using leeches to cure disease and drinking unsanitized water.

Is it so hard to believe that scientists were blessed by God with the intellect to do research and develop theories based on the facts that exist by the grace of God?

the perfect recipe for work burnout

2009-02-25T15:33:00.002+01:00

Last week, I was at a conference (I apologize for the lack of blogging) with a bunch of other people running programs similar to mine. .

Normally, I really like conferences like these because they give me an opportunity to learn from others and enhance my program with what I've learned (learning is fun for me because I'm a nerd). But the weeks leading up to this conference have been hard for me at work. I don't have a boss. I have a vacancy in my staff. I've taken on some of the responsibilities left behind by my boss and I've completely taken over the duties that is normally assigned to the person in the position that is now vacant. I've had to review over 100 applications for that vacancy and, after reviewing all of them and doing many phone interviews, I only have one handful of qualified candidates. I've got two reports that I need to write by the end of this week. AND I've been battling this cold/flu/whatever infection for the last 4 weeks.

I'm not whining about all the extra work I've been putting in and all the pressure I've been under (trust me, I did plenty of that the first week I was sick). I don't have time to whine. There's work to be done.

I've been working 10-12 hour days and I haven't taken a single sick day despite being sick. I've spent my weekends in bed, trying to get better. So when last week came around and it was time for my conference, I was a bit relieved. After all, the conference days were only 8 hours long. I haven't worked an 8 hour day in forever!

Each day, I dragged my feet and brain through every workshop and plenary. Even our lunches were working lunches so I basically had no break. But on the third day of the conference the lunchtime speaker was different. For one, he didn't have a power point presentation (yay!). Two, he was pretty dynamic and energetic. It was infectious. Third, he spoke from the heart. Even though he was there to talk about advances in preventing HIV/AIDS in minority populations, he chose to speak about Burnout.

I was shocked that he said The Word (no one talks about burnout in this field because everyone is working towards a greater good and that is worth every sacrifice we make). But when he did say The Word, everyone in the large ballroom nodded in agreement. I thought about the last month. The extra work. The long days. The illness that doesn't seem to go away. It was the perfect recipe for burnout. I was relieved to hear that I wasn't alone in this. But how do I deal with it? The speaker said we all had to find our own way to deal with burnout. This was the first time I had ever felt so overwhelmed by my job. I don't know what to do.

**********

On my last day in the office before the conference I had an initial interview with a potential client. I started going through the motions. I took some basic demographic information from him. He had no family in the area and when I asked him for an emergency contact, he gave me his employer's info. That was odd. I snapped myself out of the routine and asked him, "Why are you here?" It was a general question that could be answered many ways. He answered, "I'm lonely." I continued, "Why do you feel lonely?" He looked down at his feet and was quiet for a moment. He stammered for a bit before he answered (while not looking at me), "I'm gay. And no one knows. I try so hard not to be gay, but I can't do this anymore. It hurts to be lonely so I drink until I don't feel anything. It's so much easier to be numb than to be gay."

At that moment, I felt my heart break. I wanted to hug him, but that would be inappropriate. Instead, I got out of my chair and squatted low enough to get to his level so he would look at me (he was seated) and I told him, "It's ok. We're going to help you. I promise you that your life is worth living. We're going to show you. As of today, you're no longer alone."

**********

This is why I have no time for burnout. There's obviously work to be done. My potential for burnout is trivial compared to the all the people who are hurting like the person I described above.

the octuplets mom and bleeding the beast*

2009-02-12T20:04:00.010+01:00

By now, I'm sure all of you have heard about Nadya Suleman, the single mom in California who gave birth to octoplets via fertility treatments despite not having a job, already having 6 kids, and living with her parents who had filed for bankruptcy due to the cost of caring for Suleman's previous 6 children. As a pro-choicer, I have had a hard time figuring out just how I feel about this issue because, at present, I am still feeling a whole lot of emotions, some of them conflicting.

Essentially, because I believe in a woman's right to choose whatever she wants to do with her own body, I should probably not be angry, sad, strangely sympathetic, dismayed, or concerned about Suleman's life choices. After all, she was free to make that choice and I need to respect that.

However, something doesn't feel right here.

The more I see and read about this story, the more perturbed and concerned I become.

There's the whole conflict between Suleman and her mother that is playing itself out in the media.

There's the previous 6 children, 3 of whom are special needs children, including one child who is autistic.

There's the reaping of disability payments for being injured on the job and using those payments for IVF and (apparently) cosmetic procedures rather than using the payments to help her parents pay the bills.

There's Suleman telling anyone who will listen that her family life sucked when she was younger and that's why she had the babies yet her mom is supporting her and the kids and her dad had to go back to Iraq to support all of them.

There's the mom who admits that clearly her daughter has a problem, but apparently it took 14 children to ask for an intervention.

There's the delusion that Suleman will be able to afford all of her kids once she gets her degree in counseling (as a manager of several counselors, I can tell you that they don't make enough to care for 2 kids, let alone 14).

There's Suleman telling Ann Curry that she has no income besides disability payments for her special needs kids and that she had previously used student loans to care for her family.

There's someone putting up a fancy website for Suleman and her family (although only the octuplets are featured; there is no mention of the previous 6 children), requesting donations.

But what upsets me the most is that this woman clearly has no means of supporting her 14 children, especially when she had no means to support the previous 6 (besides student loans and entitlements). Why should the children suffer for her shortsightedness? Meanwhile, every day, people are getting laid off from work, some of whom were at their jobs for many, many years and, all of a sudden, they are out of work. The state of California is in a budget crisis and the taxpayers will probably foot most of the Suleman's bills (whether it be Medical or food stamps or welfare). And all of this because a woman, who had been an only child, wanted to have a large family?

She put her life at risk because of this pregnancy but she had to do it. Nevermind that she already had 6 kids and their lives would be forever changed if something horrible happened to Suleman. She put her kids at risk by going through with the pregnancy and not selectively reducing the number of babies. By not reducing, she increased the chances that her children will have some developmental issues or special needs. Nevermind that she already has 3 kids with special needs. Nevermind the cost of caring for special needs children.

I feel sorry for her but I feel even worse for the children. To her, they are simply a means to an end. What is that end? I'm not sure. Feeling loved by a large family no matter the cost? Living off the kindness of strangers or the taxpayers of California? Becoming Angelina Jolie (the resemblance is uncanny post-cosmetic procedures)? Becoming famous? Who knows?

*"Bleeding the beast": a FLDS concept of inventing ways to access state and federal dollars

stay tuned...political cynicism to return in 1-2 business days...

2009-02-10T16:24:00.017+01:00

Last week, I did something that I had never done before--I wrote my Senator. You know, I spend so much time bitching about politics that I finally put my money where my mouth is (btw, money tastes kinda gross).

I was so pissed that the House version of the economic stimulus bill did not contain that family planning provision (you know the one where the GOP said the money would be used to pay for contraception and therefore they would not vote for the bill, yet, the provision doesn't pay for contraception and they still didn't vote for the bill when the provision was removed?) that I became very concerned about the public health provisions in the Senate version. Gosh darn it, states are having some financial crises of their own and they need help funding medicaid and the unemployed would probably appreciate some help with covering COBRA costs! But what do I know? I'm just a constituent.

However, I am a constituent (yes, I realize I said that, but I removed the just) and I helped put some people in office and I demand that they take my interests into account. So I emailed Mark Warner (Junior Senator of VA) and I told him Don't you dare cut a dime of public health spending in the Senate stimulus! I voted for you and you owe me, dude!

Or something to that effect. The actual wording used might have been a bit less harsh.

Anyway, I expected my email to be part of the masses that a senator would receive on a daily basis* but amplified by the fact that this stimulus bill would affect many and everyone wants to get something out of it therefore they would more inclined to speak up. So imagine my reaction when I actually got a reply two days later.

If you guessed open-mouth Shock followed by Awe followed by warm fuzzies because I'm a constituent and I deserve to be heard...then you would be CORRECT!

The email said this:

Thank you for contacting me about public health funding as part of the economic stimulus package. We have been receiving a number of requests from across the Commonwealth about what should be included in the economic stimulus package. President Obama, as you know, has announced publicly that he will not accept a package that includes specific earmarks. Senator Webb and I have sent the attached letter** to the Senate Committee leaders who are devising the stimulus package. In the letter, we set out priorities that you and others have underscored that we hope are included in any final package.

As this bill moves through the process we will continue to look for programs and initiatives that will benefit Virginia. Again, thank you for your input. Please do not hesitate to contact me about other issues of concern to you in the future

**And yes, there was an attachment containing a letter written by both Sen. Warner and Sen. Jim Webb expressing their support for several provisions, including the public health-realted ones I want.

Granted, I get that the email didn't actually come from Sen. Warner. It was probably written by some poor, overworked staffer or it's a form letter done as an email merge (it was personalized with my name, so I'm guessing mail merge). But for a few minutes, I felt like my opinion mattered to somebody and was being taken into account as the Senate debates the stimulus.

Not to worry though. I'm sure my political cynicism will return in a couple of days, if not by the end of this post.

*The link above is very eye opening and I recommend that you click. And no, I do not get any money if you do so.

so what if my valentine's date is hairy and likes to lick my face?

2009-02-09T15:23:00.018+01:00

You all probably know by now that Valentine's Day is this Saturday. If not, where have you been? All I have to do is go to my email inbox to be reminded. Every other email is a promotion for flowers (dozen red roses for 29.99 and a FREE VASE! woo hoo) or jewelry (et tu, Tiffany?) or chocolates (no V-day is complete without a box of them!). Not to mention the uptake in commercials from Kay and Jared Jewelers. ARGH!

I'm annoyed and I've been in a relationship for the past 4 V-days (soon-to-be 5).

The fact is that V-day is a holiday for commercial purposes only. If you need a holiday for your boo to show you how much he/she loves you and/or wants to get in your pants, then you may need to check yourself. Your SO shouldn't need a holiday for this, but rather, should be showing you every day (and if he/she gets in your pants every day then BONUS for you!).

Perhaps you're wondering where this crankiness came from (and if you're not, then you know me very well). Well, for the past month, every time I log into my AOL email (shut up! yes, I still have an AOL email and it's my first email account ever and I will be keeping it until I die or AOL dies, whichever comes first) I am greeted by this:

I'm sure it's an ad for a dating website (there's some stuff below the image I couldn't capture). I haven't clicked because I refuse to contribute to the increased traffic to that site. However, what's wrong with having your cat as your Valentine's date? Cats are loving and affectionate. Yeah, they don't buy you flowers, but flowers die any way. A kitty's love is furever! If I were single, I would prefer to stay at home with my cats rather than go on some random blind date from a guy on a website who lied in his profile just so I wouldn't be 'alone' on Valentine's Day. Bad move, anonymous dating website!

However, I also hate the implication that cat people are single. Are crazy dog people assumed to be single? Oh wait. There are no crazy dog people. It's just people who own cats in multiples that are crazy. I'm a crazy cat lady and I have a partner! How's that for debunking stereotypes? Take THAT, anonymous dating website!

Ummm...speaking of crazy cat ladies, is that kitty in the picture adoptable? He's pretty cute. I'll be less angry at the anonymous dating website if I can just have the kitty.

just in case you didn't already know a lot about me...

2009-02-03T14:48:00.022+01:00

The blogosphere has been full of all sorts of memes lately and I'm a sucker for a meme. This time it's a 5 question interview with another blogger (in this case Zipcode). If you want to play, feel free to email me or leave a comment. I'd be happy to interview my blog peeps (or be interviewed).

Here are Zipcode's 5:

1. I admire your passion for politics, was there anyone who influenced you to have the views you have now?

I don't have a short answer to this one (so you've been warned). It wasn't someone. It was something. And that something was the Patients' Bill of Rights Act of 1999. I was an intern in DC at the time and came to the city knowing very little about politics and I hadn't really picked a side yet. Because my boss was quite the AIDS activist, I joined him for all of his activist work, including a rally on Capitol Hill to urge the Senate to pass the Act and lots of closed door meetings with various Senators who were pushing for the Act to pass. Essentially, I was pretty disgusted with the GOP's negative attitude towards the bill which would give patients more power in deciding their own health care rather than acquiescing to the will of their HMO. It wasn't until I realized the role of special interests in politics that I began to understand why the GOP would want to protect HMOs (and the whole concept of HMOs is a GOP idea; Nixon has been credited with the it). So yes, I understand that special interests affect both parties, but I couldn't care less about what's best for HMOs (and frankly, neither would their constituents). That was pretty much the first time I thought to myself, I guess this makes me a Democrat.

2. I also admire your passion for HIV Research and Awareness, what made you decide to get into this?

Again, this also goes back to my time as a DC intern. I interned for the National Association of People with AIDS and worked alongside a kickass AIDS activist (at the time, I had no idea he was well known and would rather not mention him on this blog so he wouldn't be embarrassed). He had such a passion for the cause and worked hard to push for funding for education and prevention. He was HIV+ and, everyday, I could see how sick his meds sometimes made him but that never stopped him from fighting the fight. He inspired me to do what I do. He's the reason why I decided to pursue public health rather than medicine as a career (I was pre-med before my internship and not pre-med when I came back). It's not a stretch to say that my internship in DC changed my life in many ways.

3. What is your favorite memory of your days at USC?

Oooh...I have tons of favorite memories, but my all time favorites come from game days during football season. Yeah, the team sucked when I was a student but the school has so many neat traditions (kick the poles! walk with the band!) and obviously a strong infectious spirit that we even recruit non-alums into the family (ie Jesse and Zipcode). Every home game, my friends and I would pre-party before the game and then meet up with other friends in the student section. We'd hug/high-five for every touchdown back then (TD's weren't as common an occurrence then as they are now) and we'd sing with the band every time they played the UCLA sucks song (which is played at every game regardless of whether UCLA is there or not). It was loads of fun back then. While I still try to go to one home game a year, it's not as fun now that I've graduated. The student section rocked!

4. What brought you to Washington, DC?

I came here to pursue a masters in public health at GWU and I stayed for two reasons: ONE, this is THE place to do HIV/AIDS work and, TWO, I met Jesse.

5. Can I have Nicki and Gracie? Just kidding - Do you plan on anymore furbabies in the near future?

No, you can't have my furbabies! I would love to have more furbabies, but Jesse isn't really too keen on the idea. On the weekends, I can't help but watch Animal Cops and Animal Precinct on Animal Planet and it breaks my heart to see all of these neglected or abused animals. Thankfully, they get rescued and treated and then become available for adoption. Not to presume that Nicky and Gracie had a cushy life before we adopted them, but I would really like to adopt a kitty that typical adopters would overlook--probably an older cat who wouldn't mind being spoiled in the later years of life or another black cat. I think it's strange how people don't adopt black kitties because Nicky is probably the sweetest kitty ever. But adopting another one is something that Jesse and I must agree to together. However...if a stray kitty just happened to cross my path one day looking all homeless, then I would totally take it home!