because when you look at me like that, it so makes me want to leave my boyfriend for you

Give me a woman who doesn’t have a story to tell about some guy and his unwanted public advances and I’ll give you a dollar (hey, I work for a non profit). Hollaback DC, a blog about women against street harassment, got some props on DC Blogs today and after perusing the site and its stories about men and their catcalling and their “hey baby”s, I thought of the STARE. You know what I mean, ladies-- the guys who just look and look and look until they can look no more because you are now too far away from them. If anything, this could be just as annoying as the catcalling and such.

I’ve encountered the STARE on many occasions (trust me, I’m not bragging). One time, I was all dressed up for work and decided to do a day time smoky eye make-up scheme. On my way into Union Station metro, a man leaving the station literally stopped and STARED at me. It wasn’t until I had passed through the turnstiles that he said something—“damn, baby, those eyes!” Why even say anything at all at that point? I was already halfway to downtown.

Every day on the bus ride to the Metro, I get the STARE. In fact, whenever I make it a point to look nice for work, I feel that the STARE potential increases and I kinda dread it. It’s very uncomfortable to be sitting there with my nose in my book and to feel like people are looking at me. It makes me lose my focus (and it makes me want to hide any potential cleavage sightings).

The all-time worst STARES are the ones I get while I’m out with Jesse. Most of the time, Jesse points them out to me (I’m usually too distracted by my boyfriend’s sexiness to notice much else). I could be holding his hand, rubbing his back, gazing lovingly into his eyes and there it is—the STARE. It’s really amusing to me that a guy would do the STARE when I’m so clearly with someone else. Do they think that the STARE is powerful enough to make me want to leave my man?

While out with my boo and I get the STARES, the usual suspects tend to be Latino. Once, Jesse asked me why Latino men do the STARE. After I corrected him and said that all men do the STARE, I hypothesized that it could be a machismo thing with Latinos (when in doubt, always blame the machismo). Apparently, after the cooking and the cleaning, women are also good for eye candy.

Why, why, WHY even bother? I just don’t understand why the STARE even exists. It’s like the wimpy man’s catcall.