next up on Project Runway: design the most stylish hospital gowns

Today was my annual well woman visit. I'm sure that you're all thinking--TMI, OC girl, TMI. But this post isn't about all the poking and prodding and peeing in a cup. This is about my examination outfit. The infamous hospital gown.

Come on, now. You know the one. The shapeless potato sack with an open back (and not a sexy open back). At least I was fortunate enough to wear the gown backwards (open in the front so my boobs were exposed instead of my ass) so I could hold it together myself without feeling awkward. Oh, who am I kidding? It was still awkward. However, at least I didn't have to reach around my back to hold it together.

People have been complaining about the hospital gown for ages. I think it's time for an update. Afterall, it's already plenty uncomfortable to be wearing it in a cold, sterile room. Is it too much to ask to look cute while being examined? I'm sure plenty of you think that this is not the point. But my argument is that the hospital gown can contribute towards your state of mind during your medical visit. For example, if the gown had been stylish and somewhat modest, I would probably not have been twitching with nervousnous during my EKG (or did the EKG make me twitch?). A modicum of decency in a new hospital gown is not too much to ask for, in my opinion.
Perhaps we can remove the backless option. Or maybe it can be tied around to look like a wrap dress (actually...I think this idea could work). How about we just strategically place ties to avoid any gaping? This gown overhaul doesn't have to be that complicated.

Here it is, the potato sack.
*I actually took a picture of myself in it but it was too rated X for this blog (and that's for Jesse's eyes only)