wake me up when college football starts

WARNING: this is an incredibly biased and opinionated post. Read at your own risk.

The other day, Jesse received in the mail the most recent issue of ESPN the magazine. On it, Brady Quinn, Notre Dame quarterback, is standing there, looking constipated (and very airbrushed…what happened, Brady…you weren’t feeling pretty that day?) and announcing ESPN’s college football isssue. In the past couple of years, I’ve looked forward to preseason college football polls for one reason only—to see USC at number one. This year, seeing as that we lost our 2005 Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush and our 2004 Heisman Trophy winner Matt Leinart to the NFL, I wasn’t expeting much. Sure, LenDale White also left us. And Frostee Rucker said good bye too. But we’ve had one of the top recruiting classes over the past few years and that’s gotta mean something. In my head, that means USC should be no lower than a preseason top 5.

So, I eagerly turned the page (I didn’t really want to see Brady’s face anyways) and saw that ESPN the magazine had several covers...and we just happened to be in the market with the Brady Quinn cover. Stay with me, I’ll get to the rankings in a sec. Apparently, the West Coast was lucky enough to get the USC cover. But I WANT THE USC COVER! Besides the wannabees, who else wants to see the Irish succeed outside of Indiana? Besides ND alumni? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Several pages later, I found the rankings.
Ohio State is #1. I could live with that.
Texas is #2. Hmmm…interesting. Who’s on their schedule this year besides Ohio State? North Texas? Sam Houston State? Are these even Division 1-A schools?
Moving on, Notre Dame is #3. Really? You mean the same team that BARELY beat Stanford last year? Ok, whatever.
At #4, we have Auburn. Ok, that’s fine.
Coming in at #5, is West Virginia. Hmmm. Honestly, I think this team should be lower. Why? Sure they’ll probably finished undefeated but that’s because they don’t play anyone!!!! On their schedule, you will find the likes of Cincy, UConn and Pitt.

Finally, at #6 you will find my beloved Trojans. Sure we have an unexperienced quarterback. Back in the day, after we lost Heisman Trophy winner Carson Palmer (now a star with the Cincinnati Bengals), we started this guy named Matt Leinart who had never thrown a pass in his collegiate career. So, anyone wanna take a guess what happened the first time he touched a ball that season? Yeah, that’s right. We scored! So bring on John David Booty! Let the “Booty” jokes begin! Bring it on!

I’ll leave the rest of the Trojan football analysis to my fellow Trojan, Aesop, at Fight on Forever!

So, peeps, if you wanna see me this fall, feel free to check out USC’s football schedule. I’m sorry but I will not be available on the days we play. However, if you wanna join me for a few drinks and great football, you know how to find me. I’ll be the girl in the USC gear cheering on the Trojans as we prove all the haters wrong!

UPDATE: WaPo ranked us at number 6 too. What does the Post know about college football? Haters...