conversations with drunk people

I spent Saturday night with a bunch of Hokies in Blacksburg. There was no way I was going to miss the USC/Arkansas game. I just had to watch my beloved Trojans play some where.

Luckily, there were TVs everywhere at the restaurant/bar we ended up at—Poor Billy’s. All of the screens around us were showing the Notre Dame/Georgia Tech game. I asked the hostess to change one of the TVs to the USC game. She changed it for me. A few minutes later, the bartender came over and changed the game to the ND/GT game, even though he saw me watching the game. I whined to Jesse about it because I didn’t want to miss another minute of the game. I had already missed our first field goal. Jesse, my hero, asked our waiter to change the channel. After all, there were 7 screens around us showing the ND/GT game (which is understandable considering I was in ACC territory). Surely, they could spare one screen for the lone Trojan in the building. The waiter obliged and let me pick which TV screen to watch the game from.

It was the first half and the game was still in doubt (in my mind). The Trojans had just made a good stop, defensively so I got excited. John, a Virginia Tech alum I had just met this weekend who joined us for dinner, looked in my direction after I cheered. Clearly, he was very, very drunk from the all-day tailgating. He and I then had the following conversation (my thoughts are in italics):

John: I’m pulling for Arkansas. I hate USC. I nodded my head. I’ve been hearing this since we won a share of the championship in 2004. Why do you want USC to win? Do you like ‘em or somethin’?

OCgirl: Yeah, well I went to school there.

John: I don’t just hate USC. I hate Texas. I hate the schools that always win. Come on, now. Don’t you just want them to lose just a little bit?

OCgirl: You must be joking. Clearly you can’t be serious. Let’s put this into words you can understand. Um. No.

John (shakes head)

OCgirl: No matter how good or bad the Hokies are, would you ever want them to lose?

John (looking appalled that I would ask a question with an obvious answer): No, of course not.

OCgirl: I made my case. Ok, then. So you understand why I would never want USC to lose.

John: Well, no. That’s different.

OCgirl: Really? How?

John: Well, you’re from California.

I laughed. That’s what happens when you try to reason with a drunk person.