Hey you, metro-riding jerk on the Orange Line

Dear tall, skinny man riding on the Orange Line Train leaving Ballston at 8:51 a.m. today,

I understand that you take up a lot of space, vertically. After all, your head almost hits the ceiling of the metro car. This does not explain your other space-taking behavior. Your height is no excuse for the inconsiderate selfishness you displayed while riding the metro today.

You had to have noticed that your relatively full train was approaching a packed platform at Ballston. In case you didn’t, you had to have noticed the large amount of people who were trying to get onto your train, including myself. It is the morning rush hour on the metro; as a regular rider, you must expect some overcrowding. However, you failed to notice this because you did not move to accommodate anyone. I understand if you didn’t have room to move. However, you didn’t move because you were too comfortable with your whole body leaning up against the metro pole, your arm wrapped around the pole so you wouldn’t have to use your hand to hold the pole so you could use BOTH of your hands to read your Express.

In order to hold on to the very pole you were using, I had to maneuver my arm around your body and grab on to what little free pole space you weren’t using. Unfortunately, your pole was the only one within my reach and I needed to hold on to something as the train jerked forward. So, from Ballston to Courthouse, I had my arm around you, trying not to touch you and steady myself at the same time. I prayed that you would lose your balance and fall into me, so that you could have a face-full of my makeup (with bright pink lip gloss) stain the back of your shirt.

Miraculously, at Courthouse you came to your senses and moved. You actually used your hand to hold the pole. Unfortunately for me (since I was still next to you), you used that same hand to hold up your Express so you could read it. Unfortunately for me, every time you turned the page, you scratched my hand which was holding the same pole (hey, paper cuts suck, dude). Apparently, you were too wrapped up in the Express to apologize (I understand. It entertains me too). I would’ve said something to you, but your iPod was so loud that everyone in the train was listening to the crappy music you enjoy and my attempts to speak to you would’ve been fruitless.

So instead I use my blog to say, dude, you’re a jerk. And if I ever see you on the metro again, I will put on some bright red gloss, lose my balance, and fall (face first) into your shirt.

Sincerely,

OCgirl, a seriously unhappy metro rider