Tuesday, December 12, 2006

on not being a member of Club Wed

It’s my worst fear come true. Just when I thought my world was safe, secure, and familiar, everything suddenly changes. Last night at 10 pm, I found out my friend Sana is getting married. “Getting married” has infiltrated the sanctity of my inner circle of friends.

It’s the end of an era. It seems that every time I talk to one of my girlfriends, marriage is on the brain. And babies are definitely in the back of our minds. I swear that it feels like only yesterday that my friend Aditi and are noticed this change among our friends and we realized that the inevitable has only just begun—we’re growing up. And with Sana’s engagement, it is clear that I have entered a new chapter in my life (the one titled, “Impending Doom…oops, I mean, Impending Marriage”).

Gone are the days when my girlfriends and I would brag about our latest conquests (yes, guys, girls do that too). Gone are the days when a night out with the girls didn’t involve gossiping about our significant others. Gone are the days when the last things on our minds were marriage and babies.

Last night, Sana called me. We had been playing phone tag for over a week and she finally caught me yesterday (Sana is a resident and doesn’t work a set schedule at the hospital). The second thing she said to me (after “hi”) was, “I have some news for you.” At that, I already knew but I didn’t want to spoil her story. I responded excitedly, “Yes?” Sana says, “I’m getting married!!!” To be honest, I had never heard her sound so happy in my life. All throughout college, Sana was the shy girl who never noticed the boys but was always around to give me sound, sage advice about them. She was always focused on her studies and dreamed of being a doctor. Little did she know that she would meet her future husband at the same hospital where she began her residency.

I first heard about him while out Christmas shopping last year. Sana and I had finally talked on the phone for the first time in a few years as she had been abroad before, completing her studies. That afternoon, after updating her on what was going on with me, Sana filled me in on her love life. Ever the modest one, Sana said that she and this boy were “talking” and maybe they might go out sometime. She thought there was potential interest on his part and she was curious to see what would develop. After all, she wasn’t exactly looking for a husband (even though her devout Muslim family wished she would hurry up and find one). She was too busy living out her dream of becoming a doctor. A husband was the last thing on her mind.

After nearly a year of dating, Sana and her boo began talking about marriage and before you know it (almost two weeks ago) he got down on one knee and proposed. And faster than you can say “we’re engaged”, Sana’s family whipped up arrangements for a pre-wedding dinner (per Muslim custom) and a wedding ceremony (the non-private one for friends and family) to take place on New Year’s Eve Eve.

This was exactly the way I pictured Sana getting married. I knew she wouldn’t do any pursuing. I knew that love would take her by surprise. I knew that one day a good guy would get to know her for the amazingly special person that she is and sweep her up before someone undeserving would.

Last night, I got off the phone with her and I cried. I was overcome with emotion. I couldn’t have been happier for my friend.

As I dozed off to sleep last night, basking in the euphoria of my friend’s impending nuptials, a thought seeped into my subconscious…

When will it be me?

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