Wednesday, March 21, 2007

unpleasant gym experiences

I have renewed my relationship with the gym. I was getting a little frustrated and we had a small spat and then I decided to ignore the gym for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, this coincided with the holidays. I loved having all this extra time for myself since the gym had left my life. But then I decided that the gym was good for me (far better for me than an extra tamale) so the gym and I made up. I was wary at first. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give up my free time for the gym. So I tried to change my perspective (time at the gym = burned calories = less jiggliness) and I became more willing to give up my free time in order to become better acquainted with the gym.

So now that I’ve been going to the gym more often, I am reminded of all the little things (and not so little things) that bugged me about working out at the gym. With all that sharing of space and equipment, you’re bound to find some inconsiderate people. So, I’ve come up with a list of surefire ways to piss off your fellow gym rats. I doubt that it’s comprehensive.

  • You know that sign right in front of you that says “30 minute limit on all machines when there is a wait”? Ignore it. Especially during peak gym times (before and after work) or when the line is at least 3 people deep. You just go ahead and do your 60 minute cardio workout on the elliptical because, after all, you got there first.
  • Skip the deodorant. Work out hard until you feel like your limbs are going to fall off. Sweat profusely. Bonus points if you work out right in front of a fan.
  • That fan that is circulating cool, refreshing air through the gym? Point it directly at you while you’re working out. No one else needs that air more than you.
  • Grunt loudly while lifting weights. Show everyone in the gym how hard you’re working out. Forget the fact that your grunts may come out more bathroom-worthy than bedroom-worthy.
  • Don’t wipe down the machine you’re working on, even if it’s gym policy. Chances are the person who used it before you probably didn’t wipe it down so where’s the harm in adding to the germ infestation that is already growing? Bonus points if you are especially sweaty and moist.
  • Feeling tired in the middle of your workout? Just need to take a quick breather? Please help yourself to a seat on one of the weight machines. After all, it’s not like anyone is using it at the time. And if someone wants to use it, scowl at them before moving.
  • Did you happen to pick up a selection from the communal magazine rack to read on your cardio machine? Well, don’t bother putting it back. Someone else will do it for you. Same goes for that mess you left in the locker room.

You know, just a little bit of consideration would go a long way.


Anonymous said...

Why don't you moan and bitch some more? It is very easy to point out problems...

lizzie said...

eh, whatevs. i'm sure i'll bitch and moan about something in the future.