how not to give an HIV test

Last week, I completed my training for HIV counselor certification. The training was a very eye-opening experience for me, but I predict that doing the actual pre-and post-HIV test counseling will be much harder than the role plays I practiced in class.

Part of the training included a lecture on how people should be praised when they come in to get a test. For some of these people, it is a very difficult step to take in their lives and congratulating them for it will only solidify their 'desire' (for lack of better word) to take the test.

This reminded me of the time I asked for an HIV test from my primary care doctor.

What a lot of people don't know is that an HIV test is NOT automatically part of your annual physical (on that note, you also don't get tested for all STD's unless you ask). You have to specifically request it. So after having been intimate with my partner for quite some time (and without a condom after monogamy was established), I decided to ask my doctor for an HIV test at my next physical.

This wasn't the first time I had asked her. Dr. E has been my doctor since I moved to DC. She had tested me before. But every year I see her for a physical, she asks me questions about my sexual activity, assessing my risk. Before I was in a relationship, Dr. E tested me for HIV, no questions asked. But after having been in a monogamous relationship, she saw no need for it.

Me: I'd like an HIV test too, please.
Dr. E: Why?
Me: Because I'd like to know my status.
Dr. E: But you just told me that you and your boyfriend are monogamous and have been for nearly a year. You don't have any other risk factors. I don't think you need it.
Me: Yes, but I want it.
Dr. E.: Ok, but I don't feel that it is necessary.
Me: I still want it though.

The truth is this--I had a pretty good feeling that I was negative. Yes, I hadn't put myself at risk since my last HIV test. But that wasn't the point. The point is that my doctor has no idea whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Yes, I know that isn't very likely. But how did she know? And what if I lied to her about any of the risk factors? Again, she doesn't know for sure. So why was she hesitant to test me for HIV?

Part of my job as a counselor is to assess someone's risk before taking the HIV test. I can assure you that I will never refuse someone a test just because they look safe.

Appearances can be deceiving, you know.

Shameless blog plug: For global HIV/AIDS news and commentary, check out i see HIV. It's a great blog written by a brilliant blogger who is fighting the good fight in South Africa.