Friday, November 14, 2008

an open letter to my fellow metrobus rider during cold and flu season

Dear Sick Man on the Bus,

You don't know me, but we met on Monday and now I can't get you off of my mind. There we were, sitting on the bus during evening rush hour. I was sitting directly in front of you. I could tell that you were sick and I felt really bad for you. Personally, I don't have the patience to be sick nor do I have the time to take off from work in order to nurse some wicked illness so I understood your situation and I empathized.

Perhaps you mistook my empathy as my being a willing recipient of your germs because during the duration of our bus ride together, without cause or provocation, you decided to sneeze on me. Not once, but twice. And both times, you neglected to keep your cooties to yourself by covering your mouth. Despite the earbuds playing loud music in my ear from my iPod, I distinctly heard the vociferous sneezes behind me. And because my hair was pulled back that day, I felt your spit on my neck.

After getting over the grossness that was your snot on my neck, you proceeded to sneeze again. This time, in true passive-aggressive fashion, I turned around and glared. Excuse you, Mr. Sick Man. Did your mom not teach you how to cover your mouth when you sneeze? Did you not realize that the snot you projected ended up on me? Did you ever stop to realize that your actions might infect others, making them as miserable and as sickly as you?

Well, guess what? I'm sick. Incidentally, it happened after I came across your snot. I'm no epidemiologist, but I've taken enough courses in epidemiology to know that you probably infected me with what you have. Thanks a lot, buddy.

So, what did I do? After cursing you repeatedly for infecting me, I stayed home for 3 days to keep from infecting others (nevermind the fact that I had a lot of work to do this week and certainly don't have the sick leave available to take 3 days off of work and I'm not allowed to work from home). Yeah, because I'm THAT considerate.

I really wish you had been that considerate of me.

Sincerely,
an OC girl who has chosen to keep her germs to herself

3 comments:

Zipcode said...

Did you get a flu shot? This is the reason I got one this year - rude ass people in public transportation.

hope you are feeling better

Shell said...

All I can think of is the opening scene in the Good Doctor, a play on Anton Chekhov stories. Where people are at the theatre and this one guy sneezes TWICE on the guy in front of him. Maybe your metrobus rider was paying homage to Neil Simon and Chekhov. But I doubt it.
-Shell

instatick said...

Ew. Just plain ew. I think sick people sneezing and coughing on everyone is the absolute worst part about winter. And also, ew.