Easter holiday

This Easter holiday has got me thinking about one thing: my sins. I've decided that I am not a very holy person. I came upon this realization when I read an email from my friend Dave. We were planning things to do this weekend and decided that we would get together for Sunday brunch. He then decided to throw in an invitaiton to church. Yes, it's true. In a completely different lifetime, I used to go to church every Sunday and in another lifetime from long ago, I used to go to church every single day.

As a child, my mom and I would go to church everyday (yes, I was raised Catholic). I cannot dispute my mom's holiness. She almost never misses Sunday service, unless she is ill. And her illness would need to incapacitate her in order for her to miss mass. Even today, my mom urges me to attend mass, reminding me every week that I really should go and I should take my boyfriend with me. Jesse is not a church-goer and never even liked church as a kid so I'm really not going to force him to go. But the issue is, do I really want to go there now? Did I ever want to go to church, or was this something that my mom forced me to do? And now that I live no where near my mom, do I need to go?

I have always believed that everyone is entitled to their own relationship with God or whatever higher being they believe in. While going to private Catholic schools growing up, I was always fascinated with my non-Catholic classmates. I never judged them. In fact, I admired them for keeping an open mind during our mandatory religion classes. But I digress...

I don't think I should go to church now because that would make me a hypocrite. I don't really want to go. Considering that I work for a pro-choice organization (that also supports stem-cell research) and I'm living in sin with my boyfriend (that's a sin I don't mind committing), I probably wouldn't be welcome anyways. But the fact of the matter is that my heart isn't into going to church; therefore, I would be untrue to myself and God by going to Easter mass.

On that note, enjoy the holiday whether you go to church or synagogue or whatever (or you choose not to go).