sad, despondent, and disappointed

Have you ever felt like no matter what work you do or the amount of effort that you put in that work doesn't really make a difference? Generally, we here in the public health field believe that everything you do, no matter how small the task, can produce some change in someone's life. And if our efforts increase condom usage, or make more inner-city women get pap smears, or get more men to visit their doctors, then we have done our job for the day. Today, I found out that my work doesn't reach as many people as I would like. And I started to question why I do this.

I know that the organization I work for isn't known for it's AIDS work (and that's something I'm trying to change). But I've been working on this web project since April. I've received many compliments from staff regarding my efforts to improve this project which was given to me after its previous lazy owner left the organization. I thought I had really transformed it and made it my own. I put so much effort into it daily. Today I asked the question that I thought would set me up for disappointment--just how many people actually visit my project? The answer: not as many as I would like.

"Don't be discouraged, Liz. You do such a fabulous job. I hate to disappoint people." said the Webmaster. Trust me. There's nothing worse than disappointing yourself.