my trainer is trying to kill me

As I sit here typing this, my fingers are the only non-sore part of my body. I’m totally serious. My thighs hurt and I’m sitting.

Last night I had a late appointment with my trainer. In fact, it was so late, that I managed to stay later at work to get some stuff done and I was still able to work out for a full hour before my appointment. I did 40 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of the arm stuff my trainer taught me.

So, by the time, I met up with L I already had a full workout. At 7 pm (our appointment time), I walked up to L and said, “I’m ready to be tortured.” I kid really. His workouts haven’t really been so bad. Knowing that I was plenty warmed up, we walk over to the same arm machine I did just 10 minutes ago. He sits down on the machine and I tell him, “Does it count if I already did this machine?” L says, “Really? Which ones have you done today?” I reply, “All of the arm stuff you taught me.” He says, “Ok then, let’s do legs.” I respond, “Let’s try something different today. I want to be challenged.” L chuckles (nothing sinister…it was almost a mocking tone). He says, “Ok, but I don’t think you’re ready for this.” Feeling challenged, I instantly thought, “Dude, I’m gonna kick ass.”

Instead it was my ass that got kicked. We did 5 exercises in all. They all involved a large ball, a small ball that weighed a ton, and a mat. I was doing all sorts of things: pulling myself up off the mat, holding the small ball while squatting, moving my legs as far up as they can go. All the while, I either needed to tighten the abs or keep my legs off the ground or (WORSE) both. By the end of the session, I could barely walk and I felt like throwing up.

Seeing as that I won’t see him next Monday (thank God for Labor Day and my trip to Blacksburg), he says, “Make sure you make an appointment in two weeks. I’ll have more tricks up my sleeve by then.” I reply, “You mean you have even more ways of torturing me?” With a hearty laugh, L says, “Lots more.”

Oh joy.