worst pick up line EVER

On Saturday, while on my way to my second stint of the day at Baileys Pub and Grille, I ran into Enzo who was waiting for a friend. Enzo, a proud Spartan, was on his way to watch the Michigan State/Notre Dame game. During my earlier stint at Baileys, I had found out that the Michigan State peeps were gonna watch the game in the Burgandy Room, the same room that the DC Trojans watch USC games in. After his friend Wes arrived, Enzo, Wes, Jesse and myself sat in the Burgandy Room, facing our respective games.

At some point, Wes left us to scope out the room for hot chicks. He saw someone that he wanted to "get to know better" and asked me and Enzo what he should say to her. I don't think that I have ever heard the best pick up line (although if Jesse had used one on me it probably would've worked). Perhaps the guys that have hit on me just haven't been all that creative...or smart. Or maybe they were so creative that they didn't use a line at all. Anyhoos, Wes' question brought me back to a night so long ago, I wish I could forget it.

When I was a DC intern the summer before my senior year of college, I had yet to turn 21 while everyone else in my summer program was already of legal drinking age. We began to frequent Madhatters because one of the interns knew the doorguy and he would let me in. One night, all of the other interns but my roommate decided to try out a different bar. Well, I wanted to go out too even if I couldn't go with them (I had yet to acquire my fake ID)! So, my roommate and I headed out again to Madhatters.

Dressed in a tight skirt and revealing shirt, I was at the upstairs bar talking to Emmie and enjoying a Midori Sour (I wasn't even 21 yet. What did I know about drinks?). My backside was probably looking more bootiful than usual (that's my nod to Flavor Flav of Flavor of Love) because a guy came up behind me, grabbed both of my buttcheeks and asked, "Wanna f*ck?" Before I even contemplated my answer (well as much contemplation as my drinking would allow for), I turned around to see who grabbed me. When I took one look at the guy (in his 30s, thinning hair, probably mistook me for a skintern), I busted out laughing! Yeah, like I would go home with him! In between my loud chuckles, I asked him, "Does that line actually work for you?" At that comment, he became really pissed and Emmie rushed my drunken butt to the first floor bar to avoid the rejected man's wrath.

Wes, who was looking for a pick up line that would work, asked me why I told him that story. I said, "It's an example of what NOT to do to get a girl to go home with you."

I don't know if Wes was successful that night. But I do know that he didn't use that line.