now teddy roosevelt and sex will be forever linked.

I hate feeling like a tourist so I don’t really do the touristy things in the city anymore. Actually, there are only two things I’m willing to do: go to the Cherry Blossom Festival and visit Teddy Roosevelt Island.

I guess the Island isn’t very touristy, but it does have a monument so I suppose that automatically makes it a tourist destination. I’ve only been there once but I’d be willing to go again, despite the traumatic experience I had during my first visit.

Since I had moved to DC, I had always wanted to see what Roosevelt Island is like. I begged Jesse to take me there whenever the weather was nice. I told my friend Dave about this desire and he told me, “You know that island is a big make out spot, right?” Apparently there are a lot of nooks and crannies where one can get amorous with his/her significant other. Hmmmm…I didn’t know about its reputation, but I guess it was a good thing that I wanted Jesse to take me (not that I would ever make out in public...anymore).

One day, the stars aligned and we both had the same weekday off from work (this was back when I worked for The Crap and had a random work schedule). Jesse asked me, “Hey, do you want to go to Roosevelt Island today?” And I replied, “Yay!!!” It was a little drizzly that day, but that didn’t dampen my mood. I was super excited and I couldn’t wait to see what was on the island.

We walked across the bridge to the Island. I immediately noticed that the Island was relatively deserted. From what I remember, we came upon a trail that forked. We decided to check out the memorial first. Jesse and I walked a short distance and found the memorial. There really isn’t much to it. Just some slabs of concrete and a statue of Teddy Roosevelt with his fist in the air. Jesse and I just stood there, reading the inscriptions when I heard something. “Mmmmm.” I realized then that we weren’t alone. I looked behind me and saw nothing. Maybe it was an animal.

“Uhhhh…” Perhaps it was a large animal preparing to devour us. “Ohhhh, yea!” Ok, that was definitely a female voice. I turned to my right and saw them. A girl and a boy. Humping like bunnies on a bench. Al fresco. And they were clearly undeterred by our presence. I tugged at Jesse’s shirt to get his attention. “Boo boo, oh my God, those people are having sex over there!” I loudly whispered. Jesse said, “What?” and then looked over to where I was gesturing. The couple was still going at it. And the girl was still enjoying herself (and clearly not holding back). Good for her.

Jesse said, slightly annoyed, “I really wish you hadn’t shown me that.” I replied, “Why? So I could be shocked and appalled all by myself? I’m sorry but I had to share.” Jesse answered, “I know but that’s kinda gross.” I suggested, “Ok, let’s try not to think about it.” So we proceeded to explore the memorial and try not to think about the two people having sex in front of Teddy Roosevelt’s statue. I’m sure Teddy would be proud.

photo courtesy of localhikes.com

I probably didn’t stop thinking about the humping couple until we hit the marshy part of the Island (which, if you follow the relatively circular hiking trail, is near the end of the trail). I loved the wetlands and the trail that went through the swamp. It was all so green and lush. My least favorite part was the section of the island that is under the bridge, where trash was abundant.

photo courtesy of localhikes.com

All in all, I wasn’t disappointed in my trip to Roosevelt Island. I’ll have to bring my camera next time to capture it all on film . The Island was as naturally beautiful as I had imagined and I definitely want to go again when the weather becomes consistently warm. I hope my second visit will be as memorable as the first.

But this time, without the sex.