Monday, August 27, 2007

my brother the foolio

My brother and I used to be close. We haven’t been that close since he got married to a woman he only dated for 3 months (and boy does she have baggage). But he did let Jesse and me stay at his place a couple of times and he made me my niece’s baptism sponsor so at least he is making an effort to keep me in his ever-changing life.

However, my brother has been acting like a major douchebag lately and it’s getting increasingly more difficult to just stand by and not say or do anything. So I’ve decided to do something about it. I’m blogging.

Granted, I know the potential ramifications of airing my family’s dirty laundry out there in the blogosphere. For one, it could be read by my family. I know that my mom won’t read the blog (she still doesn’t get text messaging) but my brother is a whole different story. He’s actually relatively computer savvy…uh, scratch ‘savvy’…more like ‘aware’. The boy still uses dial-up. That is a slight comfort to me because I’m sure this blog takes forever to load on dial-up so my brother wouldn’t have the patience to wait. Secondly, you lovely blog peeps may judge me on my family drama. But this isn’t a major worry because I’ve given you plenty of personal information for you to judge me on yet, here you are, reading this. (Have I told you lately how much I heart you, blog peeps?)

So here it is, the most current installment of “Perfect examples of my brother’s douchebaggery.”

My sister got a new car on Friday. A 2008 Ford Mustang convertible. She has been obsessed with Mustangs for as long as I can remember and this car is actually replacing an older Mustang model. She sent me pics and it’s very, very cute. I’m very happy for my sister. She rarely treats herself to anything and has made lots of personal sacrifices for my mom and the family. So, I’m glad that she went all out for herself.

However, splurging on herself is not something my sister is used to and the financial commitment of a new car has got her a little rattled. She’s worried that she might have made a mistake, that she shouldn’t have spent so much money on herself, etc. Clearly, the woman is a worrywart (runs in the family, you know).

My sister spoke to my brother’s wife (henceforth known as Rude Wife) and told her the good news. Rude Wife does not immediately congratulate her on her purchase and gets all excited about maybe seeing it some day. No, Rude Wife says, “Well, you can’t drive Serena in that car with the top down!” My sister had not really thought that far but my 2-year-old niece would certainly ride in a car seat with the top up I’m sure. My sister is pretty responsible (and she’s 39 years old so it’s not like Serena is being taken care of by someone who doesn't know better).

My sister dismissed her comment. After all, my family is used to being on the receiving end of tactless, insensitive remarks from Rude Wife.

At some point yesterday, Rude Wife must’ve told my brother about the car and my brother decided to call my sister. When my sister got to share the news with him, my brother’s response was not “Hey, congrats!” or something similar. No, my brother responded, “You can’t fit all the girls in THAT car. What were you thinking, getting a car that size without thinking about the girls?” (‘the girls’ = Rude Wife’s two children from her previous marriage to a psycho-Mary-Kay-selling man she has a restraining order against + Serena Rose, the only child of Rude Wife’s and my brother’s union). Rather than enjoying my sister’s purchase vicariously through her, both Rude Wife and my brother have decided to be mean and petty and bring her down (probably because they are jealous).

My brother’s remarks made my sister cry and my mom got pissed. My mom then called my brother to tell him off. After all, this is the sister who recently spent over $200 buying back to school clothes for the Rude Wife’s girls, who (I have to add) are not our blood relatives but we treat them as such. Couldn’t he be just a bit more appreciative and be kind to our sister? My brother let my mom have her say and then he hung up without a retort. Apparently, my brother has regressed to being 9 years old.

My mom ended up calling me as I usually take the peacemaker stance with my family (I try to help each side see the other side’s point of view which is not always easy). She told me exactly what she had told my brother and I said, “Well, that’s all true. But what do you expect from R? He’s been selfish and ungrateful his whole life.” I know that my mom hopes that one day my brother will change. But the fact is being with Rude Wife has only made him even more of a douchebag. I’ve lost all hope for him.

My only hope is that Serena doesn’t end up like either of them.


sunchaser said...

"splurging on herself is not something my sister is used to and the financial commitment of a new car has got her a little rattled."

Those traits are actually things that financial planners see all the time in women. Much more common than you'd think.

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear that about your brother. It's just so amazing/hard to believe that he and his wife would make those comments. Just to clarify, it was your sister's own money that she used to buy the car?

I'm sure you're right in that they're jealous of your sister. Out of curiosity, is he older or younger than her?

Getting married after knowing someone for just 3 months (99.9% of the time) = very, very, very bad idea! I know a few people who've made that mistake before. You have to wonder what they're thinking (or is it that they're not thinking at all?)

Anonymous said...

actually sunchaser my folks got engaged after six weeks and married after six months. they were married for 29 years until my dad died. but i agree-that is very rare. I'm sorry your brother sounds like such a schmuck Lizzie -- I just dont get people who squander their relationships with a sibling without even batting an eye. life is too short. and who else will have been with you from the beginning until the end - only a sister or a brother. ~erika

Shell said...

I hope your sister reads your blog, so she knows that you support her in this, as you should! Your brother and Rude Wife sound like petty jealous kids right about now. They should be happy for your sister in her successes in life. If they are so worried about how she drives with the kids, they can loan her the mini-van.

lizzie said...

sunchaser--i wonder why women aren't more confident in their financial decisions?

yes, it was definitely my sister's own money. she has always been the fiscally responsible one in the family. my brother is younger than my sister by one year. growing up, my sister was the overachiever and my brother was the slacker who never lived up to my mom's expectations. i'm sure he grew up jealous of her.

erica--i'm sure sunchaser didn't mean to offend. your parents are more the exception than the norm. i'm glad your parents were able to make it work especially for so long.

and yes, no matter what, family will always be there. my brother will truly regret everything he has put my mom and sis through on the day that they are no longer here on this earth. maybe then he'll change.

shell--i spoke to my sister last night and i could tell that she was a bit apprehensive at first. but then i told her how happy i was for her and she loosened up a bit. i think she was afraid that i would have the same reaction that my brother did (which is not like me at all).

i definitely support her in this and i told her so last night. she was appreciative. my sister has no idea that mom called our brother and told him off so i can't tell her about the post. for some reason, my mom wanted to keep that information from her.

sunchaser said...

I guess it's kind of cynical to say that people marrying after a short time of knowing each are doomed (which is why I'd left room for the 0.1% times that it does work). I actually think it could happen, just very, very rarely (and I do know some real life horror stories). But obviously I'm glad that it worked out for your folks Erica.

Lizzie, I hope your brother does change before it's too late. Life is too short for him to be acting that way.