"this is the orange line train to hell. ride at your own risk."

After a trip to the gym, I rode the Metro home last night. It was around 7 pm when I got on the Orange Line at Farragut West. I watched the 6 car Orange Line train approach the platform and saw that the first car was empty. The lights were on but no one was on board. The second car had steamy windows (I had to do a double take so that I didn’t confuse the steamy windows with the yellow tinted windows that can be found on the older train cars). The third car could've had steamy windows or yellowy windows. I couldn't tell. As the doors opened to let us on, the conductor said the following:

This is the Orange Line Train to Vienna. Attention, riders. The doors to the first car are not working. The second car is very warm. The third car is only slightly cooler. Please use all available doors to board the train.

He forgot to mention that the 5th car was packed with passengers making the subtly working AC practically useless because of all the bodies packed in the confined space. I imagine the 4th car was just as packed as riders were trying to avoid the saunas that were the 2nd and 3rd cars.

The conductor repeated his announcement at every stop. I half expected him to add a new problem with each announcement. "The 4th car has no poles, so if you don't get a seat good luck staying on your feet." "The 5th car is full of people who will not let you on because there is absolutely no room." "The 6th car may or may not remain attached to the rest of the train. Ride with caution."

Just another day riding on the nation’s capital fine public transportation system…