Thursday, October 18, 2007

a scandalous affair in DC? No way!

I was at a conference on Monday and I left it around lunch time (I’ve been quite the busy worker bee so I apologize for the absence of posts). My coworker and I jumped in a cab and headed to the office. We got stuck in traffic on M St.

While waiting at the light on M St. and Connecticut Ave., our cab driver, who hadn’t really tried to spark up a conversation earlier, said, “I feel sorry for that driver.” My coworker and I looked at each other and mouthed, “What did he say? Is he talking to us?” I asked him to repeat and he said, “The driver in front of us…poor guy.” My coworker and I looked at the cab in front of us and saw an older gentleman (probably in his late 50s, early 60s) with a woman (in her 40s, tops) making out in the back seat. They were going at it like animals on the Discovery Channel. It was like nothing I had ever seen in public during the day, in a cab stuck in traffic.

Quick confession: Actually, this has happened to Jesse and me, but it was late at night and dark with no traffic and we were both drunk and we couldn’t help ourselves. I wonder if Jesse remembers…

Anyway, like the train wreck that is Britney Spears, my coworker and I couldn’t help but watch. It was rather intriguing. The woman, who initially appeared to be sitting next to her lover as they made out, apparently was a master contortionist. Her body was completely twisted around; her back was facing the cab driver.

My coworker said, “Awww…that’s so cute. I hope that when my fiancée and I have been married for a long time we still make out like that.” I looked at my naïve coworker and said, “I don’t think they’re married. Well, he probably is, but that’s not his wife in the cab with him. I bet you he’s having an affair and this is their lunch time quickie.”

Our cabbie turned to me and nodded his head in agreement. He said, "I think you're right." My coworker said, “Really? That’s so sad.” The realist in me replied, “For all we know, that could be some congressman or something and they’re on their way to their rendezvous hotel.” And that was when we noticed that the woman could not possibly be sitting next to her lover. She was apparently sitting ON her lover. I screamed, “Oh my God, she’s on top of him!” We watched in shock as the woman writhed on her lover and the lover sucked on her neck.

Eventually, we lost them. I was hoping we could see if they were heading to a hotel.

But I REALLY hope the man had a briefcase with him so that he could get out of the cab discreetly.


Madame M. said...

How come when *I* get stuck in traffic it's always a cabbie cutting me off or a food service truck backing into an alley and never anything naughty like that, huh?

(then again.... ick!)

lizzie said...

i'd rather have someone cut me off then see two old people getting down in a cab.