religion dilemma solved

Two weeks ago*, I went home for just over a day before heading out to Hawaii with the family. Unfortunately, this meant that I had to spend a Sunday morning at home which meant church time. It's always difficult to be forced to go to mass with my family and, this time, I didn't have Jesse with me to act as a buffer. I figured I'd be the only really, really, really lapsed Catholic in the church.

The church my family goes to is not a regular church. A few years ago, the Diocese of Orange purchased land to build the Diocese's second cathedral. This was before the pedophile priest scandal broke out. The church had not yet been built at the time of the scandal and, in an attempt to build a church community, religious services were held at a nearby grade school auditorium until a Cathedral could be built. A few years later, the Diocese still didn't have the funds to start building on the land they had purchased. Why? Well, they were too busy spending money on those case settlements for the pedophile priests the Diocese had protected**. Just last year, the Diocese bought the church community some portable units and combined them to make a makeshift church-like facility. This has been about a 5 year process. To this day, the Diocese has not yet started building the Cathedral.

When I entered the makeshift church, I noticed the community's demographic--old and young, nothing in between, and mostly Latino. I was greeted by friends of my family and soon sat down and waited for mass to begin.

Unlike all those other times since I've moved out that I've been forced to go to church, I felt like I didn't belong and I was COMFORTABLE with it. I listened to the deacon give his sermon (which was about communication) and felt that the advice was not only helpful, but universal--as in, not just advice for Catholics but for everyone. When the collection plate came by, I refused to put any money into it. Everything was fine and dandy until...

Communion time. We were seated in the second row and, soon it was my row's turn to go up to receive the body and blood of Christ. Catholic teachings require that your soul should be pure before receiving the host and the wine. Considering I violate Catholic teachings every day with my views, I knew that the Church didn't deem me worthy of receiving the body and blood of Christ. However, as I was about to sit down, my mom pinched me hard, forcing me to stay in line to receive the host.

Whenever Jesse and I go to church with my family, I never receive communion. After many years of Catholic school, I know I have sinned by violating the teachings of the Church and the sacrament of Confession requires that you reveal your sins and be sorry for committing them. I do not feel sorry about my views and my job and therefore I have not been to Confession in forever. I think my mom assumes that when I don't go up to receive communion I do it to keep Jesse company (Jesse cannot receive communion since he is not Catholic).

So my mom forces me to stay in line for communion and I know exactly what to do when I get up to the priest. When it is my turn, instead of extending my hands palm up to receive the host, I cross my arms over my chest and look down. This is a common signal to a priest that I want a blessing, not communion. The priest blesses me and I'm on my way. I'm not sure if my mom saw that I didn't take communion because when I went to my seat, she was beaming at me.

That day was remarkable to me for one reason--I realized that day that I am not a lapsed Catholic. I'm a former Catholic. While there will always be some Catholicism in my life as it is so ingrained in my culture, I feel comfortable not subscribing to one particular religion. In fact, I think I will make the following bible passage the main tenet of my religious faith:

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

From the parable of the sheep and goats in Matthew 25: 34-40


*Yes, I know that this story is way late but in the last 20 days, I've spent only 7 days in DC. The rest were business travel and vacation travel days. If you are wondering, yes, I'm still jet-lagged :)
**Everything you wanted to know about the priest sex abuse scandal in Orange County can be found here.

california blogging*: the day i met the mexican

Gustavo Arellano, the Mexican behind ¡Ask a Mexican!, had a reading and book signing in Orange County on the 18th of December. I flew home on the 17th. As soon as I found out about this reading (which was shortly before the trip), I just had to go. And I was taking Jesse with me.

On the day of the signing, I threw out an invitation to my sister in case she was interested. No, she hadn't heard of the ¡Ask a Mexican! column before (and she's not cool enough to read the OC Weekly), but Arellano also does investigative reporting for the OC Weekly on stuff going on in my home town like the attempted cover up of a sex abuse scandal at my high school, the attempted cover ups of sex abuse scandals in the local Catholic diocese, and the saga of OC's very own shady sheriff Mike Carona (actually, I think R. Scott Moxley's the lead on this story). In addition to all of this, he's also the OC Weekly's food critic.  I thought my sister would appreciate his work and find something she's interested in among the many items Arellano writes about.

She was free Thursday night so she agreed to go. Shortly before the event, somehow, my mom got roped into going as well. I didn't invite her, but since Jesse, my sister, and I were going, she might as well go too. Oh great. How embarassing!  That is so MEXICAN of us to travel in packs!

I had a feeling my mom wouldn't like the Mexican for two reasons: one--his criticism of the Catholic Church and, two--his criticism of my Catholic high school. She's so devoutly religious that there was a time when she believed that all of those people who were claiming they were sexually abused by priests were lying. All (hundreds and thousands) of them. Poor mom.

The signing was at Calacas, a cool independent store that carries lots of Mexican-inspired and themed art and clothing. The gathering was small but intimate, which was nice.

Arellano brought up a number of things during his pre-signing warm up chat. While he did touch upon his new book, Orange County: a Personal History, he spoke a lot about his column, ¡Ask a Mexican!, the ensuing book, his successful appearance on the Colbert Report, and food. His historical knowledge of Orange County and its origins was pretty impressive and I can't wait to delve into the book (my mom was kind enough to 'gift' it shortly after the reading so I could get it signed by Arellano for Xmas).

images 'borrowed' from ocweekly.com
While waiting to get my books signed (I had a paperback copy of ¡Ask a Mexican! for a friend and my hardcovers of both ¡Ask a Mexican! and Orange County), I saw that Jesse had purchased his own copy of Orange County and was in line behind me to get it signed (*swoon*). My mom was right beside me while Arellano signed the books and she asked him for his opinion on a particular restaurant. I was so glad she didn't chide him for his criticism of the Catholic Church which he did mention during his little chat (I cringed when he mentioned it--only because I knew my mom wouldn't be happy--and I turned to Jesse and whispered, "Well, he lost mom on that one."). But Catholicism aside, I think my mom saw Arellano as a local boy who had done good and was using his writing for positive and constructive change.

All in all, it was awesome to finally meet the Mexican. Having been a fan for a while, it was so cool to meet the guy behind the only column I look forward to every single week.

And it was especially nice to see that Jesse became a fan too.

*Yes, I know I'm back, but this happened while I was home! One more 'california blogging' post tomorrow.

what a girl wants, what a girl needs*

A couple of weeks ago, my sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Apparently, a couple of people in my family had been inquiring and honestly, I really hadn't given it too much thought. I mean, yeah, there's the big Christmas wish that my family just can't get me (hint, it involves a boy and kneeling, jewelry optional). And then there's everything else. I don't really need anything. But I've finally figured out what I want.

The guy behind ¡Ask a Mexican! just published another book which I simply must have! I've blogged about how awesome Gustavo Arellano is before (for those of you who haven't been reading long) and you MUST check out his weekly column for snark and smarts about racism and immigration issues. It is appropriately titled "Orange County: A Personal History"

image courtesy of bookvideos.tv

And I REALLY want it (and it's only $17 on Amazon!)


Also, I'm dying for a leopard print bag, but not one that looks cheesy. I kinda want a classy looking one. Like this one:

Steve Madden bag image courtesy of shopstyle.com

The print isn't all over and at $185, it is way cheaper than the Michael Kors bag just like it (but way overpriced for a Steve Madden bag)

Alrighties, I'm done. That's all I want for Christmas.

*Pause*

Well, I'm not going to lie.  It would be nice to get this:

Or this:

It's probably not going to happen, so I'm just saying.  Still, they are pretty to look at.

Honestly, all I really want for Christmas is to hear those four little words...

* Thank you, Christina Aguilera, for providing today's blog post title.

nothing but love for the mexican

I’m not sure how many times I need to tell you about this kid, but I’m sure that one more time won’t hurt. As I’ve repeated many, many times in this blog, I am a big fan of Gustavo Arellano, an OC boy who writes a column for the OC Weekly called ¡Ask a Mexican! (now in syndication and appearing in an alt-weekly near you). He invites readers to submit any kind of question you have ever wanted to ask a Mexican. Arellano ends up doing his fair share of stereotype dispelling (and confirming) and racism bashing, all while sounding incredibly knowledgeable. So what makes Arellano an expert on all things Mexican? Well, in several interviews that I’ve read, he doesn’t think he’s an expert and feels that anyone can write his column. Yeah, someone’s being a bit modest. The thing is that Arellano actually has a master’s degree in Latin American Studies (from FUCLA, so unfortunately he’s a Bruin) and his answers are always well thought out and researched, often quoting anthropological or linguistic experts. I’m a proud Mexican, but this guy has schooled me plenty of times.

Last week, Arellano came out with a book (coincidentally also titled ¡Ask a Mexican!), which is a compilation of some of his column’s greatest hits, some Q & A exclusive to the book and essays on various issues. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to pick up this book and I had been eagerly awaiting its release since I found about the book. Jesse and I headed out to Borders on Friday night and I searched for the book. To my delight, only two copies were left (sure there may have been some backstock but I’d like to think that they sold those too). I grabbed my copy and held on to it for dear life (I’m not sure why since it was unlikely that someone would rip it out of my hands) until Jesse and I were both ready to check out. Since then, I haven’t been able to put the book down (well, except for all day Saturday which was a Baltimore excursion) and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. With the end of every chapter, I can’t help but think, Damn this guy knows what he’s talking about.

Here are some highlights:

What is it with Mexicans and jaywalking? No crosswalks in Mexico?

Run, Don’t Walk

Dear Gabacho: Try no streets. Although the number of urban Mexicans immigrating to el Norte is on the rise—Tulane University sociologist Elizabeth Fussell estimated in her 2004 paper, “Sources of Mexico’s Migration Stream: Rural, Urban, and Border Migrants to the United States,” that 61 percent of Mexican immigrants in 2000 came from cities with populations of at least 15000—most streets in Mexico still lack such amenities as stoplights, stop signs, or even lanes. Mexicans learn to navigate these mean calles from a young age and keep this mentality upon sneaking into the United States, where they find everything so orderly, so preplanned, so…lame. We ignored the jagged fence, deserts, and Minutemen that separate the United States from Mexico—what makes you think we’re going to obey a pinche YIELD sign when we’re driving?

Why do Mexicans always cram into a small car?

Baba Louie

Dear Gabacho: Because a burro can’t support more than three people.

See what I mean? Hilarious. I highly recommend his book. And if you’re a little short on cash, check out his column at the OC Weekly, which is always free!

For some of Arellano’s greatest hits, please click on the Gustavo Arellano tag below for my earlier posts on The Mexican (including a clip of his appearance on The Colbert Report). Also check out the current issue of the OC Weekly online for an article by Gustavo about the column and the book. And if that's not enough, check out this interview of Arellano from KROQ, the best station in Southern Cali.

i heart the mexican

My love for "Ask a Mexican!" columnist Gustavo Arellano has been expressed many times in this blog. And tonight I found out something that made me very, very happy. Arellano's book comes out May 1st and you better believe that I will be at the bookstore first thing that day. He may be a Bruin, but I'm willing to overlook that because he's so right on about almost everything.

Last week, Aesop, the blogger at Fight On Forever!, was kind enough to send me an essay Arellano wrote that was published in the LA Times on Friday (Thanks, Aesop!). It's about ethnically-themed parties and it's a good read. If this is the first time you've heard of Arellano, I encourage you to check out his column (a new one appears on the OC Weekly website every Thursday).

Fiesta like the fool you are
Forget political correctness: Parties that lampoon ethnic groups are as American as nachos.
By Gustavo Arellano, GUSTAVO ARELLANO is a contributing editor to Opinion and a staff writer for OC Weekly, where he writes the "¡Ask a Mexican!" column.
March 2, 2007

IF SOMEONE asked you to attend a Mexican-themed party, what would you wear? Would you sport long hair, spiked bracelets and a tattered T-shirt of rock en español dinosaurs Caifanes? Maybe visit Brooks Brothers and mimic the sartorial splendor of Antonio Villaraigosa? A snug gown a la Salma Hayek for the mujeres? Jeans, surely?

No. You're going to don a sombrero, glue on a fake mustache and act like a poor, despicable louse. You'll probably belt out a couple of lusty arribas for good measure. And you'll laugh. Really, what else could you do?

No one would recognize those other examples as Mexican, even though muchos Mexicans fit those descriptions. Not only that, but anyone who dresses up for an ethnic-themed fiesta wants to stand out, which means stereotypes: exaggerated takes on reality, some decades old, others as immediate as your office janitor. More important, cultural nuances at parties tend to disappear under a haze of bong hits.

It's important to keep the above in mind when discussing the recent spate of mexcellente bashes held by our nation's emerging scholars. The latest occurred in January, when students at Santa Clara University in Northern California were invited to a "South of the Border" party and attendees arrived as cholos, janitors and pregnant Latinas. The small campus — previously best known as the alma mater of NBA god Steve Nash — is in an uproar, and the national media have swooped in to cover the latest front in the immigration wars.

A college Mexican party — usually held under the auspices of the Greek system — is nowadays as much a part of university life as the Thought Police. A few recent examples:

• Two years ago, Alpha Epsilon Pi's USC chapter held a party titled "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," at which attendees passed through barbed wire and curious Latino onlookers were told to — yep — go back to Mexico.

• In 2003, a UC Irvine fraternity sponsored a "Drinko por Cinco" shindig in honor of the May 5 Mexican holiday and printed fliers that promised a "Dirty Sanchez Look-a-like Contest."

• In 1993, a UC Riverside fraternity advertised one of its gatherings with a poster showing a sleeping Mexican with sombrero and tequila bottle nearby.

• And, for the sake of historical merriment, this: a 1968 Daily Bruin article described a frat party where members flew a fake Mexican flag adorned with a middle finger in place of the Mexican seal and a list of excluded guests, namely "no Negroes, no Japs, no Zapatas, no Zorros, no dogs."

Each case was followed by the same ritual of hand-wringing: accusations of racism, rebutted with claims of ignorance or harmless fun, followed by protests and town hall meetings and an eventual half-hearted apology from the culprits. Peace was restored on campus — until the next opportunity to mock Mexicans.

So why do these incidents crack me up? Maybe it's the power of history. Americans have enjoyed dressing like ethnics at bacchanals since the days of the Boston Tea Party. Blackface, togas, sweat lodges, Oktoberfest, St. Patrick's Day, Tommy Bahama — the list goes on, even in this age of supposed racial acceptance.

Participating in such events seems to liberate otherwise placid souls from propriety and excuse momentary transgressions, all while lampooning the Other — a party mix more alluring than jungle juice.

No matter how many diversity workshops or school-sanctioned multicultural festivities universities may hold, these parties will continue. They're as American as nachos.

What's funniest about these controversies is the ridiculousness of the Speedy-Gonzales-for-a-day crowd. If trust-fund hotties think they can be as funny as Jack Black by dressing like my aunts, uncles and cousins, or by applying black lip-liner and calling themselves La Sad Eyes for a night, the joke is definitely on them, not us.

And for those of you offended by such tomfoolery: If someone is stupid enough to even attend an ethnically themed party, is browbeating really the cure? You'd be more effective just loading the culprits with tequila, then dropping them off in a barrio for a taste of the real deal.

Besides, spicy caricatures mesmerize more people than just drunken gabachos easily entranced by spicy caricatures. In his recently released "Tex[t] Mex: Seductive Hallucinations of the 'Mexican' in America," San Diego State professor William Anthony Nericcio calls such images "digital crack." Nericcio remembers how a 1950s-era New Yorker magazine illustration of a sleeping Mexican "still haunts me, as does the memory of laughing my ass off when I first saw it; here perhaps is born the idea of 'Mexican' hallucinations — ghosts realer than the real, who move us with their shadowy logic."

Nericcio is on to something. Visit your favorite taqueria and I bet you pesos to dollars that the store's logo probably features the same big-grinned, sombrero-wearing Mexican that caused so much grief at Santa Clara and other schools.

And few images during the 2006 World Cup were seemingly more startling than Mexican soccer fans wearing ponchos, drooping mustaches and sombreros as wide as satellite dishes. None of these Mexicans seemed offended — indeed, they were gleefully promoting the myth of the bandito. To laugh at others is human; to appropriate the laughter, divine.

me and the Mexican are like this *fingers crossed*

The thick skin just came in. Fits like a glove.

In all honesty, yesterday was not the best day for me, particularly because I had never known of random people who would want me dead (and over a silly little blog post). My boyfriend, always the optimist, tried to get me to look on the bright side and encourage me. I didn’t even begin to see the light until he suggested that I write my favorite Mexican, Gustavo Arellano, to seek his guidance. Now you see, Gustavo (we’re on first name basis now) is a talented writer. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s snarky. But most of all, he’s opinionated (and he’s smart enough to back up his opinions). Regular OC girl readers know that I am a huge fan. And now he does too.

The thing with Gustavo (the columnist at OC Weekly’s “Ask a Mexican!”) is that he’s always pissing off someone. People leave nasty notes on his blog. They send angry letters to the OC Weekly. In fact, this week’s OC Weekly contains a letter asking that Gustavo be fired simply because he's pro-immigrant. Clearly, the kid’s had to face some adversity. Jesse was right in suggesting that I contact him.

So I emailed Gustavo. I informed him that I was a fan and I asked him how to deal with the haters. And the following appeared in my inbox:

Gracias for the love. I deal with the haters like this: anyone who doesn't love me is a MORON.

Gustavo
www.ocweekly.com

Yes, that’s true. I’m so not a moron. So, with thick skin and many opinions, I continue to blog.

Gustavo Arellano on the Colbert Report

The Colbert Report - 2006.06.19 - Interview

Ask a Mexican! Fever is sweeping the nation. For those of you who missed the Colbert Report on Monday, here is a clip introducing the East Coasters to Gustavo Arellano. And if you're a West Coaster who doesn't know Mr. Arellano, then shame on you! If you're in OC and don't know who he is, I am shedding a tear for you right now.

Ask a Mexican! on TV

Regular readers of this blog know that I have been raving about Gustavo Arellano, the person behind the Ask a Mexican! column in OC Weekly. Well, if you guys don't believe me when I tell you how awesome he is, then you can see for yourself on Monday. My favorite columnist (and soon to be your fave) will be on Stephen Colbert's The Colbert Report on Comedy Central on Monday. This dude's great so I hope you watch and enjoy!

best thing to happen to people trying to understand Mexicans

Today, my favorite OC Weekly columnist, Gustavo Arrellano, published a Mexican Glossary. I encourage everyone to check it out. The language is definitely rated R (that means no clicking on the link, Kaylee and Amanda), but then again, so is the rest of the OC Weekly. Here are some tasty morsels:

• Chica caliente: Hot chick. All Mexican ladies are chicas calientes.
• Cinco de Mayo: Holiday celebrating an obscure battle between the French and Mexicans in the 1860s that everyone in the United States uses as an excuse to get plastered. Our St. Patrick's Day.
• Tequila: Liquor distilled from the agave plant of central Mexico. Also flows in the blood of any real Mexican.

Also, the Glossary contains the translations of all the major Spanish curse words and phrases--just in case you really wanted to know what those mean. Man, I love this guy. Can't wait for his book.