so maybe the tourists aren't that bad

It's that time of year again, peeps. Once cherry blossom season comes around, we all know what that means. The tourists are coming! The tourists are coming!

Normally, I dread this time of year. In the past, I've been fairly anti-tourist, mostly because they tend to delay my comings and goings (like by not standing to the right on the Metro escalators and stopping at the top or bottom of the escalator to figure out where they want to go). I've written about my disdain for tourists many times, including the post Wonkette picked up that led many a Wonkette reader to wish for my death (and tell me so; I deleted those comments long ago as I was a young blogger then and had no idea people could be so mean).

But I think I know better now.

The difference is that I no longer work downtown. For some reason, tourists aren't flocking to the Green Line and joining me on my journey to Mount Pleasant, where I work. What? Don't they want to see our cool, new Target? Hey, we've even got two Starbucks, literally right across the street from each other? Alas, the tourists don't want that. They want cherry blossoms and monuments. They want the White House and the Smithsonians. They want the Red, Blue, and Orange Lines. Not the Green.

So imagine my surprise when I saw a tourist and her tourist son on the bus ride home to Arlington. They had all the classic signs of Tourist-y-ness: The 'I heart DC' t-shirts and the mom had a fanny back and the son was carrying a big Smithsonian gift shop shopping bag. Yup, they were out-of-towners. It was kinda cute actually--my first close encounter with a tourist this tourist season.

While Kate Nash blared in my ear courtesy of my iPod, the tourist mom asked the women next to me for directions. When we got to my bus stop, she and her son got off with me. And then they stopped. Tourist mom started looking around, as if trying to figure out where she was. Holy crap, I thought. The tourists must be lost. And the woman's face could not hide her confusion.

I did something I hadn't done with a tourist in a really long time. I asked her if she needed help. Her face lit up when I did so. And I gave her directions.

Me: Well, you want to cross the street and wait at the bus stop over there. When the (blank) or (blank) bus comes, you jump on that and ride for about 10 minutes. That should take you to your hotel.
Tourist: Thanks. Is there anything to eat around here or my hotel, do you know?
Me: Oh no, there's nothing around your hotel. You're better off eating here. You can go to (blank) or (blank) and about a block away is (blank).
Tourist: I might want to write this down.
Me: Here, let me. (scribbling)
Tourist: Oh wow. Thank you so much. Really, that is so nice of you.
Me: Eh, no worries. Oh and if the wait for the bus is too long after dinner, you can take a cab. Considering the distance, it should cost no more than $7 to get from here to your hotel. Whatever's easiest for you...
Tourist: I really do appreciate all of your help.
Me: Yup, no problem.

I walked away and realized how good it felt to help that woman out. I thought to myself, Yeah, I might just have to do that again. Like tomorrow.

hello, Karma? are you there, Karma?

I was walking to the Metro after work yesterday on my way to see Dr. W. As I crossed the street, I saw an elderly couple on the corner. They were both huddled over a map and one of them was wearing a fanny pack. Obviously tourists, I thought to myself. I watched them flip the map over as they were trying to figure out just exactly where they were. In the mad rush to get to where ever it is that we all needed to go, no one stopped to help them.

For a second, I thought that I would just follow the masses and ignore the old people. But for some strange reason, I just couldn’t. Maybe it was the fact that they were old. Or maybe it was the innocent, clueless looks on their faces. Or perhaps I was appreciative that they hadn’t rented a car (for more on how I don’t think old people should drive, click here). Whatever it was, it tugged at my heartstrings. I actually turned around, walked towards the couple and offered my assistance. A look of relief washed over their faces. “Oh thank you, thank you!” the old lady said. I replied, somewhat embarrassed, “Don’t thank me yet. I may not know where you need to go.” The old man said, “Do you know how to get to Georgetown from here?” I answered, “The university or…” The old man interrupted, “No, the little shopping area.” I warned them, “Well, it’s a bit of a walk from here but if you’re up for it, I can tell you how to walk there.” The old lady said, “It’s a pretty day so I don’t mind walking.” I gave them directions and even showed them the route on their little map. They were very, very appreciative. “We would’ve been lost without you,” the old lady said. That old lady sure knew how to tug on those strings. As they both said thank you for the umpteenth time, I wished them a happy stay in G-town and I headed towards the Metro.

On my way there, I thought, Awww…I feel warm fuzzies for helping those people. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on tourists. Yeah, they keep me from getting on the Metro sometimes with their standing on both sides of the escalator and their collective stopping at the doorway to a train, or their collective stopping at the bottom or top of an escalator. But they’re just trying to figure things out like I was when I was a DC intern so long ago. Granted, I always stood on the right and always kept moving, especially during rush hour. However, I can relate to their confusion. It felt good to help that couple.

Just another deposit into the Bank of Karma.

When I got to the Metro station, I remembered that I had a negative balance on my SmarTrip card. I saw two SmarTrip fare card machines. One had a long line of people who seemed to belong to the same group. The other was empty. I went to the empty one. “No SmarTrip” it read across the top. Damn you, broken fare card machine. I walked to the other machine with the long line. Everyone was holding a wad of cash while the person in front worked the machine. Eventually, the person in front figured out how to use the machine. By the time she did so, two more SmarTrip card users had lined up behind me. I heard grumbling behind me, “Couldn’t they just use the regular fare card machines? Why does it have to be the only one that works for SmarTrip?” Clearly she was reading my mind.

Surprisingly, the station manager noticed that there were 7 people in line for this machine and walked over to us yelling, “Who here is trying to get a regular fare card?” The 4 ladies that were part of the bigger group spoke up and the station manager showed them the empty fare card machines that were nearby that they could use. One of them explained, “I didn’t know we could use these. We’re visiting from Texas and all of this is so new to us.” Yeah. Whatevs. Step aside for the locals.

Eventually, I reloaded my SmarTrip card. But I had wasted 15 minutes of my life. That SmarTrip transaction should’ve taken a couple of seconds to complete. If those tourists hadn’t been at the only working SmarTrip card machine, I could’ve been on an earlier train, instead of the one I got on that was delayed at Metro Center. I was late to my appointment. Fortunately, Dr. W was running behind too.

I liked the old couple I helped. I even liked the warm fuzzies I got from helping them. But that may be the last time I help tourists in DC.

pity party of one cancelled

Jesse and I went down to South Florida for a wedding this weekend. My friend Jackie was marrying her boo of very many years, Andrew in Naples on the beach. I was very, very happy for Jackie. For as long as I’ve known her, Jackie has been happily with Andrew. They bought a house together about a year ago and it was no surprise that Andrew proposed shortly after that.
Before the wedding, I was afraid that I wouldn’t enjoy myself. This was mostly because of what has been going on with Jesse and me regarding the marriage issue. Although we’ve made some progress, the pain of his indecision is still fresh in my mind. However, I didn’t want it to ruin the happy occasion that was my friend’s wedding.

Since most of our time off from work this year seems to be wedding related, I wanted our trip to Florida to seem more like a vacation for us. We booked flights into Ft. Lauderdale and drove through the Everglades to Naples. As we were traveling through there, Jesse and I got to experience the Everglades wildlife, including the most random bugs I’ve ever seen, a turtle, and gators! Jesse and I were most excited about seeing the gators and we got to see them from the safe haven that was our rental car (I wasn’t going to lose any limbs on this trip).

After a couple of hours of driving across the state, Jesse and I settled into our Naples hotel and checked out the night life. I wasn’t really impressed. Naples seems to be more of a retirement community than a party destination. That’s not to say that it isn’t beautiful (because it’s actually breathtakingly gorgeous). It’s just not very young.

The next day, Jesse and I spent exploring the Gulf Coast. We went to Naples Beach and hung out at Naples Pier with all the fisherman. To my delight and surprise, dolphins frolicked literally just a few feet away from the pier. It was awesome. I tried to capture their jumping in and out of the water on camera, but the little suckers were too quick.

The wedding itself was really cool. The requested attire was beach chic so everyone was nicely dressed but it wasn’t formal at all. In fact, the wedding was the opposite of stuffy, which was so refreshing. None of the guys were wearing suits, including the groom and the groomsmen. The bride herself was wearing a traditional wedding gown but her hair was long and flowing and very beachy looking. The sun was setting behind them as the ceremony went on and it was an amazing background. I’m sure their wedding pictures will be incredible.

The Gulf of Mexico

If you enlarge the photo, you can see two dolphin fins peaking out of the water.

The Naples Coast




Dolphins!!

That shadowy grey figure in the water is a dolphin. Darn thing couldn’t stay above the water long enough for me to snap a pic.


It’s a dolphin fin not a shark, I swear!

Here I am in my beachy chic wedding attire


Here’s my favorite camera subject in his beachy chic wedding attire


And here we are at the wedding reception

Is it just me or does my hair look a little red in that pic?

So, all in all, it was a fun experience. No self pity on my part, thank goodness.

Things you should know before you visit the nation’s capital

As a city regular, I know that we’ve all been frustrated at some point with the tourists. It really is ok to admit it. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. BEHOLD my effort to train tourists on how we would prefer them to be. I have created a DC fact sheet for you to pass on to anyone you know who is planning on visiting our city. These are just some random tips in no particular order and should be considered an addendum to any published DC tourist guide.

1. When traveling in DC using Metro, please do not use the Metro until after 9:30 a.m. Monday through Friday as a courtesy to those of us who are trying to get to work in a timely fashion.
2. There are other Metro stations besides Smithsonian station that you can get off at and explore the Mall—to name a few Federal Triangle, Archives-Navy Memorial, Union Station.
3. Please be advised that wearing the same color t-shirt as others in your tour group will elicit ridicule from passers-by.
4. Leave the fanny packs at home. We in DC like to maintain a reasonable level of style and a cute canvas tote (monogrammed with your initials, preferably) would meet your needs in a fashionable way.
5. Please educate yourself about the wonders of the City before you speak. For example, it is not appropriate to tell your 10-year-old son, “Hey that’s where the president lives” in front of the Capitol Building.
6. Tour groups—please skip our shopping malls. Trust me, we have the same Gaps and American Eagles you do in your home towns.
7. Before using Metro, please pick up a Metrorail map and plan your route ahead of time, that way we can read our Express papers and listen to our Ipods in peace.
8. Do not eat or drink on Metro. Although it is illegal, chances are you won’t get caught. However, we prefer not to have to move your garbage over when claiming a seat.
9. Bring enough clothes for your trip and save the souvenir t-shirts for home. When you wear your “FBI”, “CIA”, or “I heart DC” t-shirts proudly in DC, you are immediately identified as a tourist. And trust me, that’s not good.
10. Please be advised that the City itself is not very kid friendly. If you let your kids behave without proper decorum, don’t be surprised when a random stranger disciplines your kids for you.
11. If you are too lazy to walk on the Metro escalators, stand to your right. It is in your best interest to do so. Otherwise, you risk the power of the wrath of the dozens of people behind you who aren’t lazy and have somewhere to be.
12. Before you start clutching your purses and holding them close to you while in the City, you should know that DC is not the crime capital it used to be. But if you’re not used to urban living, stay away from the non-Capitol-Hill parts of NE and SE.
13. If you decide to drive to the City and park here, do not be surprised by the sudden appearance of multiple dents and scratches.
14. Be constantly aware of the people around you. Keep in mind that your presence is a nuisance and please behave appropriately to alleviate said nuisance.
15. Thank you for visiting and bringing revenue to our nation’s capital.
    

raise your hands if you want to take the rest of the week off

Who else had a 4 day weekend? Who else doesn't want to be at work today? I feel like I just got back from vacay and I need another day to come to terms with the fact that I must return to work. Although this is the last place I want to be, I am at work today.

I was also at work yesterday. My building hosted a little (keyword: free) 4th of July gathering and opened up the rooftop to check out the fireworks. The food was not too great but the view was worth it. The fireworks were nice and patriotic as they usually are. The occasional flash of lightning added to the drama. It was Jesse's first time in DC for the fireworks since he was a kid and I think he had a good time.

My biggest concern of the evening was the after-fireworks-rush on the metro. I was expecting to wait a lifetime on the platform for a train that we could manage to board. Strangely, Jesse and I were able to get on the first train we saw at Foggy Bottom. It wasn't a comfortable ride. We were packed in like sardines. Luckily we parked at Courthouse metro, so we had a short trip.

At Rosslyn, a few people stepped out of the train and even more wanted to board. A woman got on the so-tight-we-were-all-sexually-violating-each-other train and actually had the nerve to ask, "Are there any seats?" She was genuinely searching for a place to sit and tried to manuever past my boyfriend with his football player build in her attempt to sit. I wanted to tell her, "Look lady, you're lucky that you even have a place to stand on this train." Ugh. Tourists. I swear...

Anyway, the nightmare only lasted until the next stop. I really do love DC's fireworks but I may have to reconsider catching 'em next year. My disdain for tourists is getting to be too much.

the day I finally admitted to being a tourist

Monday, June 19--the actual big oh-two anniversary. Lots of sight-seeing on this day. Jesse and I hit all the BIG touristy hot spots.



A view of the Bay and Alcatraz from Ghirardelli Square. Jesse and I are wearing hoodies because it was a slightly chilly 67 degrees that day.













You know, I'm not really a fan of chocolate (unless it's THAT time of the month). However, even non-chocolate lovers can appreciate the old school charm of the Ghirardelli building.





A view of the skyline from Pier 43




The world famous California Sea Lions outside of Pier 41. Aren't they so cute and chubby and lazy? They spend all day just hanging out and basking in the sun. Just add a Corona and that would be the perfect day for me.






The view of the Golden Gate Bridge from our boat tour.









Alcatraz













Jesse and the Bridge


















Me and the skyline






To be continued...