how much does Verizon suck? let me count the ways...

The most absolutely horrible, incredibly life-ending, and mortifying stress-inducing thing happened to me the other day--my cell phone charger broke. Don't ask me how it happened. One day, my charger dutifully charged my phone. The next day, wires were exposed and broken. Fortunately for me, Jesse was around to witness my breakdown. "Oh no! My phone! What am I going to do? What if I lose all the numbers? How will I get them back?" Mind you, my cell phone still had close to full power. Jesse says (in that incredibly calm manner that usually soothes me), "that's ok. You can just get a new one." And the thought of going to a Verizon store to get a new one stressed me out even more.

Following a Policy Series event at the Global Health Council, I walked over to the Verizon store on L St to get my phone replaced at 3:30 p.m. I was checking out the phones when a sales person approached me. I told her that my phone charger was broken and I needed a new phone since I didn't think that my insurance would cover the charger. Additionally, I let her know that I should be eligible for a free phone because of the whole, "new every two." She asked me curtly, "Is DC your home calling area?" "No, it's California." Not-so-nice sales person says, "Go to Customer Service." So I waited in line with another woman to be serviced at customer service. There was only one person in Customer Service (the irony needs to be pointed out here) and 5 people in the sales area, including a manager.

The woman in line with me says, "I've been waiting for over 30 minutes just to be helped so good luck." Hmmm...it was now 3:45. At 4:1o, I finally got some assistance. I explained to the CSR exactly what I had told the NSN sales person. He looked my account up and said, "I'm gonna need some approval so it'll just take a few minutes." At 4:15, my phone died (actually, the screen went blank but was powered on).

At 4:30, my transaction was approved and I needed to find a new phone. I asked the CSR for his opinions, "Don't get the Razr, because EVERYONE has that phone." "Get the LG VX8300 because I have it and it's good." Ok, fine. I need a leather case (because I drop my phone rather frequently and I like to think the leather protects my phone). He must not have heard me because he goes on to tell me the wonders of Bluetooth technology. I replied, "Look, dude (you can take the girl out of Cali but you can't take the Cali out of the girl), I'm not that important, ok? I just need a case." The CSR gets me a case and starts to ring me up.

At 4:40 he tells me that I have to change my plan. I was like, "Ummm...I've never had to do that when I get a new phone and I've been a loyal customer for 5 years now." He says, "Well, that policy changed last year." I say, "I don't recall getting that notification by mail." He gets his supervisor, who then proceeds to argue with me. I tell the supervisor and CSR (though he doesn't care), "I have no intention of changing my plan because my night minutes start at 8 pm and if I change it, my night minutes will start at 9. Also, I don't think you heard me when I said I have been a LOYAL CUSTOMER for FIVE YEARS." Apparently repeating myself worked and I was allowed not to change my plan.

I finally left that store at 4:55 pm (almost an hour and a half after my arrival). I had to stay an hour later at work to make up the difference. Verizon, some words of advice--please work on your customer service. I worked in retail for many, many years so I know customer service. If you want to create brand loyalty, you are supposed to be nice to the customers you already have.

In case you're wondering, I didn't lose any numbers. They somehow got transferred to my new phone. Oh and PEEPS, call me, please. I like hearing my new phone ring.