i slept with manny last night. should i come clean with my boyfriend?

Before I moved here, my family went through this short period where they got all nostalgic about my role in the family—the Baby. “Oh, I can’t believe the Baby is the first one of us to go far away.” “Our Baby’s all grown up now.” “Remember when she was a baby and she would poo in her diaper and get all embarrassed.” Yes, some memories were worse than others.

For whatever reason, my family had this brilliant idea to do one last fun family thing together before I moved away for an unspecified period of time (you’d think I was dying as opposed to just moving). So they asked me where I wanted to go. Without hesitation, I said, “Let’s go to Sea World!” The four of us—my mom, my sister (who’s 10 years older than me), my brother (who’s 9 years older than me), and the Baby—drove down to San Diego for the day.

I actually find the whole “training wild animals to do tricks and help us profit” thing pretty repulsive. But Sea World is the only place in Cali where I can see my favorite animal in the whole, wide world—the manatee. Don’t ask me why but I love ‘em. In fact, I’m willing to move to FL and get a car there just to get the manatee license plate. My love for manatees has definitely been documented in this blog before, but it bears repeating. They are just such sweet, gentle creatures. I just wanna see one and hug it and squeeze it tight (and pray that he doesn’t think my head is a plant it can eat).

Following the manatee habitat is a gift shop. My brother pulled me aside while I was shopping and said, “Since you really love manatees, why don’t you pick whatever you want from here and I’ll get it for you as a going away present?” My heart leapt. I made a beeline for the largest stuffed animal manatee in the store. It was supersoft and gray and about half my size. Rich says, “Ummm…are you sure you want something so big? How are you gonna take it with you?” Hmmm…good point. I look again and then locked eyes with Manny. Manny is a medium sized stuffed animal manatee and we fell in love at first sight. Instantly, I knew that I wanted to take him home.

He came home with me. A couple of days later, we went to John Wayne airport together and he sat with me on the airplane. “Oh what a cute looking seal,” an elderly woman told me while boarding. Through my teeth, I corrected her, “It’s a manatee actually.” When I was looking for places to live, he was right at my side. Whenever I cried because I was homesick, he was there to offer me a hug. Through thick and thin, he’s been with me, offering his unconditional support. He was my right hand man (especially when so many other men couldn’t cut it). And then one day, Jesse came home with me.

I was already falling hard for Jesse but I fell a little bit more when I saw him pick up Manny and say, “You like manatees?” “YES! Jesse, this is Manny…Manny, Jesse.” Jesse says (we’re both drunk so it makes this conversation perfectly acceptable), “Nice to meet you, Manny. You’re so soft.” Jesse then hugs Manny (it’s hard not to since he’s so cuddly). I swooned (remember I was drunk so this is ok).

Now that we live together, Manny’s still around, but he spends most of his time on the couch, hanging out with Jesse while he plays XBOX. Manny and I haven’t shared a bed since I moved in. Until last night. I was lonely and I couldn’t help it. The bed just felt so empty without Jesse and I needed to cuddle. Once again, Manny was there for me. I was able to fall asleep eventually, but it just wasn’t the same.

I love him still but Manny’s just no Jesse.