i swear i'm not the one who farted

So, I was on the Metro on Thursday morning (yes, this story is a little late but I've been out of commission for the last couple of days). It was the usual rush hour crowd, trains packed in like sardines. When I finally got on a train, we were all sqeezed in together. It was the kind of train ride when you hoped with all of your heart that everyone showered and put on deodorant.

At VA square, I detected the most foul odor. I made the mistake of inhaling deeply in order to sigh loudly because the train ride from Ballston to VA square had been a lot less than smooth. But after inhaling, I lost my desire to sigh. Instead, I gained a desire to lose my breakfast. The girl standing directly in front of me had shifted slightly right before I detected the foul odor and I'm thinking that this horrible smell came from her.

At Courthouse, it was deja vu. The short girl directly in front of me shifted. And then, there it was. The fart to end all farts. Oh. My. God. I think my fellow riders were willing to forget about the first fart. But the second was too much to bear. People started to look around. And for whatever reason, they started to look at me. I scrunched up my nose to let them know that it wasn't me. Obviously, if I too was disgusted by the smell, then I couldn't have been the one who farted.

Stopped in the tunnel between Rosslyn and Foggy Bottom, Short Shifty Girl did it again. Three times in 15 minutes! What in the world did this girl have for breakfast? A big bowl of broccoli? Instead of looking at Short Shifty Girl as the true culprit, they looked at me again. Come on, now. It wasn't me. Granted, I didn't expect Short Shifty Girl to apologize or even own up to the fact that she was making us miserable. But I swear the smell didn't come from me.

Just because I was the only Mexican girl on that side of the train, doesn't mean that I had rice and beans for breakfast!