my friends are cooler than your friends

Yesterday I briefly mentioned that I had 4 parties to go to this weekend. I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m some kind of party girl because I’m definitely not (well, I was way back in the day, but I’ve settled down some with my old age). Normally, I would be perfectly happy to stay home with Jesse, cuddling in bed, and reading a book (I’m currently reading Barack Obama’s Dreams from my Father). But instead, Jesse and I committed us to 4 parties—my work party on Friday, a holiday party at the house of one of Jesse’s friends, a co-worker’s birthday party, and Jesse’s work holiday party.

One of Saturday’s parties was at Jesse’s friend’s house way out in the ‘burbs. The party was early, which was fine with me because Jesse and I had another party to go to the same night. We arrived only 15 minutes late. Jesse’s friend P opened the door and when we stepped inside, we realized that this wasn’t a typical holiday party for someone our age. The first thing we noticed was that we were underdressed for the occasion. Everyone was decked out in fancy, holiday garb while Jesse and I were chillin’ in jeans. Also, P’s parents were there and even helped with some of the cooking. It didn’t take long for me to realize that we were in some kind of different world—one where people my age act old and mature and have very different responsibilities than I do. Namely, they have their own families.

Two by two, they came in. Married couples. Some of them with children. And for whatever reason, they didn’t really talk to you unless you were married or engaged and/or had kids too. In fact, it was quite a stuffy bunch. They were (dare I say it) snooty. I couldn’t tell you why they were snooty or why they were giving off this “I’m better than you” attitude. But I felt so unwelcome. Still I put on a happy face. These were Jesse’s friends. I didn’t want to be rude. After all, it wasn’t their fault I didn’t fit in, what with my unmarriedness and lack of babies.

We left after a couple of hours. We took Jesse’s friend Jeff with us (yes, he is also unmarried w/o children). On our way to the next party, Jesse was telling Jeff about the fun we had at my work holiday party on Friday. He compared it to the party we were just at and Jesse came to a conclusion. He said “Liz’s friends are nicer than my friends. I always have fun at their parties.” (Clarification: I know that Jesse was referring to his “married with children” friends at P’s party, not all of his friends.)

Proof of Jesse’s theory came at the next party, where a gathering of the “cool kids” at work was taking place. (I call my work clique the “cool kids” because we are). At Sonoma on the Hill we celebrated S’s birthday and we had an awesome time. It was a refreshing change from the previous party. Everyone was having a good time. Sure the “cool kids” were nice but the people we met at the party were cool also. Jeff concluded at the end of the night, “Liz’s friends are more fun than our friends.” (Clarification: I know that Jeff was referring to the “married with children” friends.)

I’m not sure why Jesse’s friends weren’t as nice as mine this weekend. Jesse said his friends weren’t always like that. But since when did a change in priorities mean that you could be snooty to someone or (worse) ignore someone?

All I know is that when I get married, I’ll never look down on someone just because they’re still single and without babies.

I also know that I’ll never stop having fun no matter what phase of my life I’m in.