proving mom wrong one blog post at a time

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is blah, blah, blah. I promise to never quote the bible in this blog again.

I had a conversation with my mom last week and since then I’ve been searching for a definition of love. During our little phone chat, I asked my mom what she thought of my relationship with Jesse. Since we stayed at her house (for the first time) for the holidays, I figured she would get a good grasp of what our relationship is like. Apparently, I was wrong. She told me, “I can tell, simply by the way you look at Jesse, that you love him so much. I have never seen you so in love. I don’t think he loves you the same way.” Needless to say, I didn’t ask her why she said that. I quickly dismissed her comment.

Why? Because I know.

Love is scary. It requires a certain degree of “oh, what the hell?”, a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants attitude. It requires a vulnerability that allows you to be open to giving and receiving love. This openness is a willingness to try something new, something different. Love is a risk, a giant leap of faith knowing fully that love can bring you the greatest happiness you’ve ever known and the most profound pain you’ve ever experienced. And still, you take that risk.

Love is reassuring. It works best when you are genuine to yourself and your partner. Love liberates you to be yourself, knowing that you are accepted completely with all your strengths and all your faults. Once you’re ready and willing, love is easy to give. There is no worry over whether you are good enough for love or whether you deserve love.

Love takes work. It requires a constant effort by both partners. It involves regular and consistent sacrifice and compromise. Love eases the inconvenience of the sacrifice, one that you are happy to make if it will benefit your partner. Each act of sacrifice and compromise is an act of love. These nurture the partnership that is the nature of your relationship.

Love is trust. It’s knowing that the bond you’ve formed with your partner is strong and steady enough to withstand any challenge. Love doesn't question. It's confident. Love is staying connected to your partner despite any amount of distance between you.

Love makes you whole. Love is the feeling that you are now complete. It is the union of your soul with that of another soul, a soulmate who took the same risks you did to get there. It is a united front, an intangible connection that all can see. Love is the desire for your partner’s happiness over your own.

Love is bliss. With it, you can reach the highest high. Not surprisingly, everyone wants love and many cannot live without it. I don’t blame them.

I may not know the exact definition of love. But thanks to Jesse, I definitely know what it feels like.