Tuesday, July 3, 2007

just leave me alone

I've been feeling pretty sensitive lately. I'm not quite sure why. I've got my hormones in check and all (it's a non-placebo week). But I'm still quite emotional. I feel like I'm operating on a short fuse and I may go ballistic on anyone any moment now. I had my first opportunities this morning. Miraculously, I kept my mouth shut.

My morning started as it usually does. Except this morning, like yesterday morning, I found myself unable to get out of bed because I hadn't slept well the night before. Yesterday, I ran out of anxiety meds. I called in a refill but it wasn't going to be ready until today.

So I got ready and headed out to wait for the bus. I was running late and I knew it so I was a little stressed. When I got to the bus stop, I noticed my neighbor was waiting. She's an older lady and I wrote about her a while back (quick synopsis: she shunned me when I told her I was living with a man who is not yet my husband. apparently, she has forgotten as she's introduced herself to me many times now. did i mention that she's old?). We said our usual greetings and then she asked me the one question that is never appropriate to ask a woman unless you are absolutely sure of the answer: "Are you pregnant?"

I know what you're thinking. What is Liz wearing today? Well, I am wearing the teal dress from Banana Republic that I bought during my sick day online shopping spree. It's a little loose fitting. And apparently, I look pregnant in it. I thought I looked summery. I told the nosy neighbor, "No, I'm not pregnant." She replied, "Oh, well, you look pregnant. Must be the dress." I turned to the side to let my jaw drop away from her view. I swear. The audacity!

Seriously, what normal person thinks it's ok to say something like that? Just because my clothes aren't tight and make me look like a sausage doesn't mean I'm pregnant.

Feeling a little sensitive about my weight, I was definitely not prepared for my next opportunity to go nuts on someone. As I approached the escalator to enter Ballston's Metro station, a man in athletic apparel approached me and offered me a free one day pass to the Sport & Health gym at Ballston. I'm sure he approached everyone entering the Metro, but this offered me not comfort. In a huff, I said, "No, thank you. I already belong to a gym." Hence the gym bag I was carrying with me to the Metro. What did he think was in there? A bag full of cookies and bon bons???

The minute I got to work, I was in the mood to bite someone's head off. Instead, I turned to my incredibly mild mannered and sweet cubicle neighbor and asked her for the truth--Do I look pregnant in this dress? S. answered in the most soothing voice possible (she's Southern so her voice is always soothing), "No, of course not. You look gorgeous. And your hair looks amazing today! Is that the cute dress from Banana?" Ahhh...the always-effective hair compliment. I actually took the time to straighten it since today is a low humidity day. If you ever want to get in good with me, compliment the hair.

I thanked S. and calmed down considerably. Fortunately for everyone around me, I have lost the desire to go ballistic. But just so this doesn't happen again, I'll be working twice as hard at the gym today.

And I'll be picking up my prescription.


Shell said...

Um, can we say rude! Your neighbor as old and infinite in her wisown as she is needs to learn some tact. Clearly she has none. As for the guy at the metro. Yeah that happened to me once. I was picking up lunch during the workday and getting a rice bowl and this guy in gym clothese approached me and started chatting. I thought he was hitting on me at first. Not only did he give me his business card, he told me what was "healthy" to order on the menu. Why people can't mind their own biz!

Anonymous said...

If you wanted to be realllly bitchy to the woman you should have asked her, with great concern in your voice, 'but you asked me that yesterday when we bumped into each other? Don't you remember?' And then a few minutes later solitiously ask her if she has a doctor's appointment scheduled in the near term.

Actually I wouldnt torment an old woman like that but when people ask the preggers question without knowing FOR SURE the answer is yes they deserve the full barrel response.

one final thought -my sister who weighs about 107 got asked that by someone recently. Sometimes it really IS the dress. Happy Fourth ~Erika

Michelle said...

Sounds like she just has lost her fashion sense.....I thought full skirts are in now?......

lizzie said...

shell--yeah, seriously. i just don't get it. i'm confused as to why she even had to say anything. she obviously needs to fine tune her "head to mouth" filter.

erika--i truly hope it's not the dress. i really like it and i don't want to stop wearing it simply because certain rude people think i look pregnant. but yeah, i agree with you that people who aren't sure just shouldn't ask such a personal question.

michelle--well, the dress has a full skirt and empire waist (both of which are in right now). sadly, i think the culprit is the empire waist which is unfortuante because the empire waist really accentuates my boobs. apparently, it accentuates my buddha belly too.