Tuesday, December 9, 2008

jaded in the city: on rats and people who jerk off

Have you heard about the District's Rat Free DC campaign? The ads are all over the Metro buses and DOH has some informational brochures about it.

I was walking in the city with my coworker when a bus with a Rat Free DC ad drove by and I said, "Ha! The day DC is rat free is..."

I paused to come up with something snarky. My coworker finished for me: "The day there is affordable housing in the city!"

Yup. And even then, there are still the politicians. Can't get rid of those rats.


Last week, I was walking to the Metro from work and I came across a homeless man in front of a 7-11. His hands were down the front of his pants. Whenever a girl walked by, his hand got a little...ummm...jumpy? excited? vigorous? It didn't take long for me to figure out that he was jerking off.

I looked for a cop (is jerking off in public a crime? I didn't see any peen, but the jerking off seemed a bit out of place) and I saw about 3 cop cars literally across the street. I tried to get their attention but the 4 cops were too busy looking down on another homeless man that would simply not get up. Probably too drunk. Not sure why it took 4 cops to attend to one homeless man, but what do I know?

All I know is that a homeless man was jerking off. Because I couldn't flag down a cop, I decided to point him out to a rent a cop (was he on duty? who knows?) and I headed home (I just HAD to tell someone with some kind of authority. I couldn't just do nothing).

When I told Jesse this story, he was incredibly grossed out and refused to listen to any details of the situation. Yeah, it was gross. But I'm sure I've seen worse, even though I can't think of it now. I mean, even now, I remain relatively indifferent in telling you.

And perhaps, that's the scary part. I'm so jaded by living here that people who jerk off in public aren't that big of a deal.


Beth Barnett Boebel said...

Holy crap! That beats all nasty and bizarre things I have ever seen. My stomach definitely turned.

Bilbo said...

Perhaps if all the rats on Capitol Hill just spent their time jerking off instead of screwing up the country, we'd be better off. Or not. I give up.

anOCgirl said...

beth: that's pretty much the same reaction jesse had. he refused to let me tell him the whole story. he was too grossed out.

bilbo: actually, i think you're on to something.

instatick said...

The joys of living in big cities are great, aren't they? Our homeless population downhere is quite interesting and I've heard several similar stories, one which involved an older gentlemen, in a public park, wearing dark sunglasses, in a speedo having a little public private time.

Zandria said...

I guess since I don't live in DC (and work in a non-sketchy area), I've never seen or gotten used to such a spectacle. Ew! :)