Wednesday, June 10, 2009

about to lose faith in all humanity

I'm officially depressed.  Things have been down for me emotionally and, while I choose to not discuss them in this blog for personal reasons, just know that I've been upset about things for several days now and I've yet to see the light at the end of this tunnel.  And from that perspective, I write this post.

Because Fate likes to kick me while I'm down, yesterday morning I got the most interesting email at my blog email address.  Presumably in response to my post on my reaction to Dr. George Tiller's murder, the email sender wrote nothing but an incomprehensible string of curse words.  Buried among those curse words were the words "I hope you die like Tiller." 

Yup.  I guess that's the "pro-life" movement for ya.

I have long been a vocal opinionated blogger (well, except for my boring early stuff--please don't look at anything written in 2006) and I'm certainly not going to stop voicing my opinion just because some nut job terrorist sympathizer decided to email me his death wish.  But I have long hoped that some of my posts, some of my soapbox moments actually reach some people.  And maybe I don't change opinions, but maybe I encourage people to consider a view that is different from their own, encourage them to walk in someone else's shoes to see why someone would feel differently than they do.

I have received emails from strangers who read my blog thanking me for shedding light on a topic that is important to them, or a topic that helped them realize something or learn something new.  I get choked up sometimes just reading them.  It feels so good to help people, it really does (so much so that I've made a career out of it).  And then there are emails from people who don't like what I write.  And sometimes I write them back.  And occasionally, we get into an email debate and that person finally accepts a differing view (notice I said accept not agree--hey, change is change, no matter how small).

Yesterday, upon reading that email, I realized that there are some people that will never change.  That will never be open to another view.  That would threaten someone with a different view in the name of their god.  That would rather wish death upon someone to silence that view. 

I'm not in the least bit threatened by this anonymous coward person.  But I am saddened that there are people who have no qualms sending such an email to an opinionated blogger who has never performed an abortion and has never worked in a family planning clinic but who passionately supports people who do and the women who seek these (legal) services.

Yeah, I am totally one of those idealist do-good-er types.  I work to open minds and change hearts, not just through this blog but in my community.  I've always felt that nothing is impossible.  But today, I feel like I've been slapped in the face by reality. 

Try as I might, there are just some people who will never change.


Malnurtured Snay said...

That sucks, about the hate mail, I mean. It sucks for anyone to have to die like Dr. Tiller did -- as the victim of domestic terrorism -- and it sucks for people to think that kind of stuff is okay. Hopefully, for this person, venting it is enough and they're not actually walking around looking to kill someone.

Lexilooo said...

what a wanker!!!

there is no need for people to say such things to you, you shouldn't feel as though you need to censor your own blog. I always enjoy reading it, even when we disagree on topics, but that is the beauty of it all! it would be a boring world if everyone had the same opinion...

Juliet said...

Geez, I've disagreed with you about as vehemently as anyone, but I don't understand what kind of creep does that sort of thing. I'm sorry about that and whatever other crap you're going through right now--I hope things get better soon!

michelle said...

they will never change ....and the internet makes it very easy for them to leave a hateful comment, cause its all very anonymous. i hope whatever personal stuff you are going through works itself out in a positive way for you.

i don't always comment, but i always enjoy reading you heartfelt perspective.

Anonymous said...

Nice Post

Anonymous said...

First, what a douchebag.

Second, I'm a pretty firm believer that for someone to have a reaction like that, to threaten your life in an email like that, they're either mentally fucked, or the things you talk about - freedom, liberty, choice - you know, the things THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON - scare the shit out of them. Fear causes hate, hate causes violence and so on and so on. They suck, you rule, end of story.

Third, I love what you write. I find you to be and absolutely amazing, inspiring woman fighting the good fight and making a difference, every day, in the lives of people who really need help. You are amazing, and don't you dare doubt it for a single minute.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about the hate mail. But it goes to show the type of people that exist in this world, the extremes and not only how far we've come, but how far we still have to go.

I personally love your blog, and have you in my RSS reader. Your writing is always thought provoking and inspiring. I think what's important is that you are making change, even with the ones that will never change, you are helping to move minds and create a positive change, which is more than enough.

Also, thank you for your comment on my blog. I apologize it has taken a while for me to reply. :)

anOCgirl said...

thanks everyone for your kind words of encouragement (and not so kind words for the person who emailed me).

also, juliet, i haven't forgotten that i owe you some passages from the carhart decision. hopefully i'll have some time to read it again this weekend.

Generation Next said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling down and then got hate mail on top of it, but that seems to be the fate of any blogger. You just keep on sharing with the world and standing up for what you believe in. We've got your back :)

Juliet said...

"also, juliet, i haven't forgotten that i owe you some passages from the carhart decision. hopefully i'll have some time to read it again this weekend."

Cool. Whenever you get around to it--I figure you've got a lot on your mind right now.