Thursday, April 24, 2008

oh no! here we go again...

My mom expected Jesse to propose while we were in Colorado. My heart has finally learned not to get its hopes up. It knows not to expect anything. Jesse has already assured me that a proposal is coming some time this year, so I'm not even going to speculate as to when it will be. Jesse is a man of his word. I trust him. Besides, I want to be surprised.

My mom, on the other hand, wants to know and she wants to know now. Is he going to make it official? When is he going to make it official? Well, he has to do it soon because it's been long enough (yes, mom, don't I know it). My church friends think you guys are roommates but the truth is you're living in sin. Stop living in sin and make it official already! Don't you want to get married before I die?

Oh, dear mom and her own sense of mortality.

I've quit worrying about these things (although I do have my momentary relapses). And you'll never guess the reasons why? There are two reasons: Dominick and now Gracie.

I know what you're thinking. Not ANOTHER I love my kitties post. But the reality is that I had been wanting a pet in our home since Jesse and I moved in together. And then he quickly shot down the idea because he wasn't ready. As he became more open to the idea of marriage, he became more open to having pets. And when he finally gave me the kitty ok, he followed it up with, "It's time to start our family."

Jesse can be so cute sometimes.

But the kitties do prove two things: that Jesse is embracing the idea of marriage as opposed to being afraid of it and that Jesse is going to be an amazing father one day. I've blogged about how great he is with his niece and nephew. But whenever he holds Dominick or Gracie in his arms like babies, my cynical, un-romantical heart melts into a pile of mushy, lovey-dovey-ness.

When I told my mom that I hadn't been proposed to in Denver, she kinda flipped out. I didn't even get to tell her about all the cool stuff we did there because she was so angry that Jesse hadn't sealed the deal. I told her to give Jesse some time and she replied, "He's had plenty of time. Until he proposes, I don't want him in my house."

Kinda extreme, no? Sometimes I think my mom lives in absolutes. With her, it's either yes or no, but never maybe. Or black and white but rarely gray.

Needless to say, I promptly said good bye to avoid an argument. Good thing we're not going to Cali together until Labor Day this year. Jesse actually really loves my mom so I hate when she says things out of spite. I know she wants what is best for me.

But I've learned that, sometimes, ultimatums are not the best way to get what you want.

4 comments:

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

ahh yes I know where you are coming from. My ex-fiances very catholic mother had a field day when we moved in together. Even though we were engaged - she kept asking when is the date - needless to say - that date never happened. I am glad we lived together otherwise I would be in divorce court.

Anonymous said...

Ah, don't you just love it when that hardened heart of yours (it's cool, I've got one too), get all filled with butterflies and little pink hearts?

How are the kitties doing by the way?

an orange county girl said...

CH 20210--oh yes. i highly recommend living together before marriage. yes, i realize it's not endorsed by the catholic church, but jesse and i have been able to work out some kinks beforehand, that being married would've aggravated.

instatick--yes, sort of. :) i try to resist the sappiness, i really do.

oh, the kitties will probably end up in a post some time this week. they are driving me crazy! but i love them so :)

Anonymous said...

So it's happening sometime this year?! How exciting! :)

-Aditi